SiaLv82 Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Quite the surprise this past week when I reached for my cell and realized I received a text from him. Back story is that we were friends for a few months. He met someone and fell for her while he continued to hang out/talk with me. I honestly didn't realize they were serious bc he never stopped talking to me (every day). He always wanted to see me on the weekends and was always the initiator with calling to see how things were going. Well they lasted six weeks, broke off and at that point I thought possibility that there was chance for a relationship. I brought it up and was shot down because he still had feelings for this other girl. Since we were messing around, I told him I wanted him to stop calling/texting me. He wanted time to get over that girl and just be friends until then. He told me that he honestly did like me prior and feel for this girl after things just seemed to be "just friendly" between us. But yet he had absolutely pursued me as if wanting a relationship? He had even told me two weeks prior to our talk that if i didn't want anymore more then to tell him so he stopped wasting his time. Two weeks later I tell him i do and then i get this line... Well month out now and I get a text two nights in a row to get together. I had a very hard time over the last month, cried a bit, lost some weight, thought about it entirely too much. Now, I am getting back to my old self again. I do miss him. My only issue is that once we started messing around he should have been clear on his intentions and it seems he was not. While we didn't do anything prior or during his time with this girl, his intentions should have changed when our relationship changed. Right? If he is over this girl now and would want to have a relationship would any of you consider? Or a no because basically "left you" to pursue his past. I am so confused and definitely still have feelings for him. I have not responded yet and keep going back and forth on what to write to him. I feel the whole "he left me for another girl" syndrome even know we were never officially together.
Leegh Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 I think you do not have enough clarity about the situation from him, and that can be very stressful not knowing what's going on. If you and he go out, possibly you could ask him some questions, to find out about things. I don't think you were his second choice, as he may have had a fear of commitment, and a good way for a guy to avoid commitment is to date someone new, and have the other woman find out about it.
Author SiaLv82 Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 I think you do not have enough clarity about the situation from him, and that can be very stressful not knowing what's going on. If you and he go out, possibly you could ask him some questions, to find out about things. I don't think you were his second choice, as he may have had a fear of commitment, and a good way for a guy to avoid commitment is to date someone new, and have the other woman find out about it. Exactly. I think I never did either. I assumed things because of the frequency of calls, but obviously was wrong. My issue is I really want to give it a shot but I don't know what his intentions were from both texts. He hasn't called me but has asked to hang out both nights and this was right after I put my profile back on a dating site that we both frequent. I'm unsure if he is actually interested or the texts were just a knee jerk reaction to seeing me back in the dating pool. I haven't heard from him yesterday or today. However, I also have not responded to his last request to hang out. I think it is lukewarm effort at most. But it doesn't stop me from thinking about him all over again
eleve82 Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Generally, from what I've seen, if the beginnings of a relationship are that messy and uncertain (>1 person involved), the relationship doesn't end up lasting long. While you were 100% emotionally invested in him, he was hedging his bets. Now he has turned it on you and made it seem like you are the one rejecting him. Personally, if I were you, I'd drop him like a hot brick.
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