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I could write a novel, but don't want to bore everyone, turning to this to help me feel sane... Lots of history between us, cheating, separation, reconciliation, divorce, reconciliation, separation, reconciliation... Over the course of 5 years... This last reconciliation has been a challenge too, it had been a year at the end of last year, I was ready to end it again, we both drink and as things get worse I seemed to always let the drinking steer me to what seems like the promise land of being single... So I quit drinking, I promised to work on my faults, as she blamed my instability for the lack of her sex drive. I have spent the last six months sober and stable and have not seen any change in her sex drive, I finally have addressed it with her and I am getting the same old excuses... We have two kids, we both want to provide a stable environment for them, but the lack of intimacy in our relationship is a huge problem... After being rejected today, I brought up the idea of an open marraige, as I don't want to disrupt our family life, but need a partner that wants to have sex more than once or twice a month. It didn't go over well and I don't know where our relationship is headed from here, but interested to get some feedback from others, cause her response was that I am crazy and the truth is that celibacy drive me crazy, I want a exciting sex life with her, unpredictable and spontaneous, we have had one nooner in 15 years, it was while we were separated the first time...

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