winnieloveshunny Posted October 13, 2004 Posted October 13, 2004 i just officially got attached to my first boyfriend a few weeks ago. Before we got together, he called me everyday and we would be sending sms-es to and fro like every minute of the day. Ever since we got together, he doesn't call me as often as before and his sms-es seem to become fewer.. although he still send me quite a couple a day (eg. when he just woke up.. good morning.. where he's going.. before he sleeps.. good night.. etc.). I was just wondering why? Is it normal? Before we got together, it was kind of obvious to us that we enjoyed each other's company and we like each other. But I think maybe we got together a bit too fast, like slightly less than 2 months of knowing each other. As a result, I get quite insecured when I don't hear from him as often as I like to. Somehow, I felt that I should not have agreed to be his girlfriend so fast. But still, I do like this guy. He makes it a point to meet me whenever he has an off day from work. We are not at the stage of saying "I love you" yet. Actually, only "I miss you". I am just worried that maybe he doesn't like me afterall?
Purpletyiger Posted October 13, 2004 Posted October 13, 2004 well A slight cooling off is normal, especially when if you have been flirting a lot before officially starting to date. The presure of making sure you are each aware of each others intentions and feelings isn't quite a strong. Don't worry about this - it's not like all communication has stopped. It's simply decressed to a more calm level. Yes it's nice to get 100's of messages a day but after a while it's simply become unrealistic.... (this from someone who spent hours every night on the phone to my ex in the USA!!!). When you do get in touch think of it as more special.....
DJ_Dork Posted October 13, 2004 Posted October 13, 2004 Both ya boyfriends sound desperate/insecure. I call my biotch a couple days after date and for dates. I don't give a crap about maintenance. You're either in or not. It's her job to maintain the relationship cause I got to take care of my life.
Author winnieloveshunny Posted October 14, 2004 Author Posted October 14, 2004 Thanks Purpletyiger! That was helpful.. I guess in a way, I was looking for some verbal assurance that he still likes me. I still get very excited when I do receive his messages and calls. DJ_Dork, you seem to be taking your girlfriend for granted. My boyfriend will be history if he dares to call me names like what you call your girlfriend. Besides, I think both parties should make the effort to "maintain the relationship" like you said, and not just leave all the work to one of them. I got to take care of my life it seems as though she does not have her own life to take care of!
faux Posted October 15, 2004 Posted October 15, 2004 Originally posted by DJ_Dork Both ya boyfriends sound desperate/insecure. I call my biotch a couple days after date and for dates. I don't give a crap about maintenance. You're either in or not. It's her job to maintain the relationship cause I got to take care of my life. Ooh! Ooh man! Oh, my God! That's priceless! Haaah! I needed that. Originally posted by winnieloveshunny i just officially got attached to my first boyfriend a few weeks ago. Before we got together, he called me everyday and we would be sending sms-es to and fro like every minute of the day. Ever since we got together, he doesn't call me as often as before and his sms-es seem to become fewer.. although he still send me quite a couple a day (eg. when he just woke up.. good morning.. where he's going.. before he sleeps.. good night.. etc.). I was just wondering why? Is it normal? Before we got together, it was kind of obvious to us that we enjoyed each other's company and we like each other. But I think maybe we got together a bit too fast, like slightly less than 2 months of knowing each other. As a result, I get quite insecured when I don't hear from him as often as I like to. Somehow, I felt that I should not have agreed to be his girlfriend so fast. But still, I do like this guy. He makes it a point to meet me whenever he has an off day from work. We are not at the stage of saying "I love you" yet. Actually, only "I miss you". I am just worried that maybe he doesn't like me afterall? If you are concerned about how your boyfriend feels for you, I think it would be a good idea to talk to him about those concerns. He does seem to find time for you, but if you feel something might be wrong, you should act on that feeling now, before it blows up.
overseas2004 Posted October 15, 2004 Posted October 15, 2004 You dont need to talk to him. You need to relax. Its ok you arent describing anything unusual. Talking too much about things sometimes is good and sometimes will ruin everything.
Author winnieloveshunny Posted October 15, 2004 Author Posted October 15, 2004 I guess I was really over-reacting. He does make it a point to sms me and call me. I think maybe now that we are officially together, he thinks that he does not have to try so hard anymore. Haha oh well whatever.. I still like him anyway. I am learning to appreciate him more and is more caring and affectionate towards him now. Hope we will work out fine!
jas4577 Posted October 15, 2004 Posted October 15, 2004 I struggle w/ these issues myself. My bf and I used to IM each other all day while at work (hehe) but we don't anymore. We used to talk on the phone every night we weren't together...now, not so much. At times I wondered why he didn't want to talk to me, etc but then I realized the benefits that come along w/ taking time away. You do miss them and you have more to chat about when you're together! Also - why is it always us females who wait for the guys to call/text/IM? ( I'm guilty!) I know they usually set the standard by doing most of the persuing, but if you want to talk to him and you're sitting in bed, staring at the phone stressing about it - PICK UP THE PHONE! Rationally think - is he going to be annoyed and reject me? NO! That's what I've been doing when I find my mind is getting carried away with "what ifs". Call, you'll feel better - no harm done. One more thing ladies - try to maintain some mystique! You don't need to be secretive or shady, but have a life outside the bf. When you guys aren't hanging out - do something w/ the ladies, go out to the bar/club/coffee shop, go work out, go to the bookstore, sign up for a class. Let him know that you're still out there doing your thing and your world doesn't revolve around him (even if it does - just pretend it doesn't!) and if he's secure with himself he will not be threatened or suspicious as long as you don't present these activities in a resentful manner. Man, relationships are a mental struggle at times, what a tangled web we weave...
Author winnieloveshunny Posted October 15, 2004 Author Posted October 15, 2004 Haa I do agree with you. These few days, the boths of us had been very busy and hence we were not able to meet up. This is the first time that my boyfriend has an off day and we did not see each other. *sigh* I think it kind of made me miss him more than ever I guess he feels the same way too. He called me yesterday and sms me many times today. I do take initiative to text him but I am generally quite shy to actually suddenly pick up the phone and call somebody just to chat. I will always think that it may not be convenient for the person to chat.. handphone bills are expensive.. and yadayadayada... That's why I will end up waiting for people to call me most of the time. Well, unless I have not seen or talk to this person for quite some time, I may just call and ask how he/she is. Today was the first time that I called him for practically nothing (well just because that I miss him so). Haa and yes I felt a whole lot better after the call although it was short since he was out shopping at the night market with his friends and I did not want to keep him on the phone. Usually, he is the one who will call me or I will ask him to or hint to him that I want to talk to him. After shopping at the market, he and his friends went to play table-tennis and he text me many times in-between games. Oh yeah I do have a life outside him. Haha since I only meet him about twice a week, I do many things during the rest of the time. Man, relationships are a mental struggle at times, what a tangled web we weave... *nods*
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