MrGray Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Fellow mourners, Was sat up in bed last night thinking about this whole NC. So every person i have spoken to has told me to try and forget about her and most importantly dont hound her , contact her , nothing. Very hard after spending everyday of your life with someone for 2 and a half years... What i would like to know is what NC achieve's ? All it does is allow your ex to distance themselves even further from you ? (Not what id hope will happen) No contact make its easier for them to move further on ? I know this as i seen my ex on Monday night after only 5 days of NC... She was a wreck , still completely in love , but she knows finishing with me was the right thing for us in the long run... The next day we spoke and she saaid seeing me was too hard and we shouldnt do that as it will only make things easier... So my question is this... I still love her , i still want her , and whilst she may not be in this frame of mind , i fear letting her go will ultimately let her walk for good... There is one nice big story behind all this...maybe one day ill bore you all to death with it , but in the meantime...your advice on the above title would be greatly appreciated... Girls Advice even more so appreciated...i want to know what you expect from your ex when you split with him...if anything at all...
Author MrGray Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 If you want to see the rough story behind it then please view my other post called " A man cut in two" ... its from around a year ago...and its about the same girl... However obviously lot's has happenend since then between us , good and bad...
Author MrGray Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 Please note , in the first part of the thread i meant to say its will only make things harder , not easier.
athousandquestions Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Firstly NC isn't a tool to manipulate your ex to come back to you. It's the quickest way for you to heal, and move on with your life. BUT... NC can also make your ex come back to you. Have you ever heard the saying 'You can't miss something that's not gone?' Your ex left you. She dumped you. She, despite her words, does not want to be with you (look at her actions. She broke up with you) Giving her space through NC will show her that she does not have a hold on your life. You will spend time improving yourself and guess what - that's an ATTRACTIVE quality. NC will have her wonder what you're up to, and it will save you from having to endure the pain of continuing to see her. IF you're meant to be, you will be, NC or not. You need to go NC for yourself. 4
SuperGeek Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 (edited) In my case, NC allowed me to slowly remove from my mind the constant images of my cheating ass EX getting pounded by some other guy every night. Before we even went to court, she was getting pounded by at least one new guy, though probably more based on her history. A pretty painful thought really. Just literally being away from her, any news about her, away from her family, away from her friends, and even being away from MY original friends that she turned against me helped me move beyond it. I'm still dealing with bitterness and distrust of women though. No idea on how to get beyond that. Women have so many options these days and I just don't see one sticking around that long these days. I mean why should they? They can just go on dating sites and get flooded with emails from all kinds of sausage. NC is for relieving pain and moving on from a painful situation. Nothing more. It won't help you get your EX back. NC is the best thing for men because 99.9999999999999999999999999999% of the time the girl goes out and bangs a new guy immediately. Casual sex for women is like tap water running out of a faucet... unlimited supply. MrGray, I guaraantee you that if your ex is the dumper, she's out getting pounded nightly already. why put yourself though hell by watching all that and 'being nice to her'. Literally remove yourself from the situation so you don't get more hurt. SuperGeek Edited June 20, 2013 by SuperGeek
Blastoplast Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 No Contact is to get your head and emotions in the right place, simple as that. By talking to your EX you're basically ripping off the scab that's in the process of healing.
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 It affords you your DIGNITY and starts the road to healing! Screw the ex! You CANNOT change what she does, only what YOU do from here on in. Read TaraMaidens post to NC. Its a year later for me friend- same situation, but its the ONLY way for you to begin healing. It takes time pal.
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