NatalieKaye4 Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Hi, I'm new to Loveshack.org, so take it easy on me please! My boyfriend and I dated for almost FOUR years and were together 24/7 during that time. He was my middle school/high school sweetheart and I still love him to death. He even gave me a promise ring and talked about a future between us regularly. Not only that, but he bought us an $800 puppy, which I still have, and took me on a trip last summer to meet his family in England. We started fighting towards the end of our relationship a few months ago, and he broke up with me saying that we "fought too much" and both needed to change. It came out of nowhere, and I was devastated. After we broke up, he promised that we would be together "in the future" and just needed some time away from each other. We even met up a couple times after we broke up and texted like nothing was wrong at all. He said that he did not want another relationship and would never love anyone else... but after just a few weeks, he was already dating another girl (who he only knows from playing soccer), and saying that he and I were finished "forever" because our relationship was "too messed up to ever work again". The nerve He and his new girlfriend have been together for about two months now. He leaves in one month to go to basic training far away from our town, and then goes to college in a town a few hours away in the fall. His girlfriend still has two more years of high school left, and I only have one more year. She is also a lot younger than I am. He and I are going to the same college once I graduate. I haven't talked to him since he and his new girlfriend started dating. I miss him very much, but I am in the process of moving on. I am not "waiting on him to come back," I am simply just curious to know if he will ever talk to me again, or maybe even give our relationship another chance...? Has anyone ever gone through something similar? I have talked to many who say, "He will be back, it's just a rebound," and others who aren't so sure. No negativity, please. That is the last thing I need. Thanks!
Ami1uwant Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Sorry---but he likely wont. I know you are young....but the fighting/arguing wasnt fun so he wants to explore whats out there. He believes fighting isnt normal so there must be problems. 1
TheWhitestRice Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Keep moving on. It seems like his feelings for you were affected by the girl that he met from soccer. Did it really come out of nowhere, or did you miss signals that he tried to convey to you? Also, I find it a little sketchy that he promised that you guys would be together; why'd he rush into another relationship if he claims to want one with YOU? Loving someone is not an option that you can toggle on and off as you please. 2
chados Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 this is what you normally hear from a boy or girlfriend. 1. lets be friends. 2. i still love you but im not in love with you right now. 3. who knows? maybe we can get back together later. this is a way for the person who dumps you to not feel bad about himself. to not hurt you or because they actually think you can be friends. because sometimes they dont want to loose you completely. however it doesnt work like that. the chance of someone getting hurt is to big. jealousness fear and anger will decide if you two can still be friends. and even if youre okey with this, most likely his girlfriend wont be. i know by experience that nobody in here can make you do something you dont want to. if youre feelings are controlling your mind, you will do every stupid thing you can to make this right. all i can say is, dont do it. let go. why does it matter what he does when he clearly tells you stuff that doesnt mean anything. he just wants to move on. with that being said. nobody in here knows if he would come back. but for now the only thing you can do is to stay away and maybe not respect but accept his wishes. most of us are gonna be dumped once in our life at least. and if all of us could make you see what we see you wouldnt ask questions. everyone has to learn the hard way to come out stronger. even though theres nothing as a perfect person. and arguing can be good from time to time. a true partner is someone who knows why youre fighting. talks about it and solves the problem. that is someone you should be looking for
Simon Phoenix Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Probably not, at least no time soon. The thing that concerns me is when you say you were together 24/7. While I realize that's not literal, it does suggest that you kind of put all your social eggs in one basket. I would use the moving on process to work on yourself and establishing yourself as independent so when you date another guy, you might be able to give him a bit more space. But your situation right now doesn't look good. There's nothing you can do but move forward and then deal with him if he ever shows back up.
Eddie Edirol Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Definitely not, many times, men only move backwards when they dont have choices, or when they just want sex. but he fell out of love with you and probably cant or doesnt want to see himself with you ever again. After the fighting, whatever you were fighting about, he wants nothing to do with it. There are probably many other things he wasnt happy about either that you missed. It most likely isnt a rebound since he wanted out of the relationship. This is just something your friends say to avoid depressing you more. What you have to do is realize how the relationship went wrong, and work on that in the next one.
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