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Can't stand it when people say, "we can still be friends."

henderson14

By henderson14
in General Relationship Discussion

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henderson14 Established Member

henderson14

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I'm talking post college. When I date girls for a few months and we break it off they always say "I want to still be friends." I always try to keep it real and say the same thing. That there is no lets be friends. Its either were dating or were not seeing each other.

 

I feel like people don't really mean it when they say that, and they just say it to lessen the blow of the relationship ending. I mean how are you going to "stay friends?" Are you going to run into each other at parties and bars? Are you going to hand out on weekends? Are you going to call each other? NO WAY! Only if you share the same close circle of friends (which I haven't since college).

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MrCastle Established Member

MrCastle

Posted
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I don't do the friends thing *before* dating, but absolutely after dating.

 

I can see how after a relationship it would be weird, but if you guys were just friends with benefits to start with, all you did was drop the benefits.

 

No hard feelings, keep in touch, keep them in your social circle if you can.

 

Never know when they'll help you find someone new, or just make new connections in general.

Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

Posted
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I don't do the friends thing *before* dating, but absolutely after dating.

 

I can see how after a relationship it would be weird, but if you guys were just friends with benefits to start with, all you did was drop the benefits.

 

No hard feelings, keep in touch, keep them in your social circle if you can.

 

Never know when they'll help you find someone new, or just make new connections in general.

 

I keep in touch with most guys I have slept with :p if the guy was respectful and it just fizzled out, I don't see why not.

  • Like 3
rocketman122 Established Member

rocketman122

Posted
Posted
I'm talking post college. When I date girls for a few months and we break it off they always say "I want to still be friends." I always try to keep it real and say the same thing. That there is no lets be friends. Its either were dating or were not seeing each other.

 

I feel like people don't really mean it when they say that, and they just say it to lessen the blow of the relationship ending. I mean how are you going to "stay friends?" Are you going to run into each other at parties and bars? Are you going to hand out on weekends? Are you going to call each other? NO WAY! Only if you share the same close circle of friends (which I haven't since college).

 

same here. no friends. either were intimate or we have no contact. If I want you naked in front of me then just friends will never work. I never had women friends. just dont believe in it. I know female women but im not friends with them. my sister has tons of friends that know me well, but no contact apart from family events we meet at. but no. not my thing.

Pompeii Established Member

Pompeii

Posted
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You know what I say?

 

"**** no biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiich"

Carenth Established Member

Carenth

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I have female friends who are purely platonic. However I'm never friends with people who I have a romantic past with. Just find it too awkward, often the "lets just be friends" is said by them but we just fade apart after that.

TheFinalWord Established Member

TheFinalWord

Posted
Posted
I'm talking post college. When I date girls for a few months and we break it off they always say "I want to still be friends." I always try to keep it real and say the same thing. That there is no lets be friends. Its either were dating or were not seeing each other.

 

I feel like people don't really mean it when they say that, and they just say it to lessen the blow of the relationship ending. I mean how are you going to "stay friends?" Are you going to run into each other at parties and bars? Are you going to hand out on weekends? Are you going to call each other? NO WAY! Only if you share the same close circle of friends (which I haven't since college).

 

That is your choice, of course. I think it is just the polite way to say that there is no hard feelings it just isn't working out.

carhill Established Member

carhill

Posted
Posted
Can't stand it when people say, "we can still be friends."

 

Heard that in MC. Translation: 'I want you to be my manservant when it serves my purposes'. No surprise that it played out that way. Ha!

SJC2008 Established Member

SJC2008

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Whether they mean it or not I don't do the "Let's be friends". After a misunderstanding with the last woman I dated after our last date, she said let's slow down and then she said let's be friends. I told her I already have friends and then she said she didn't want to cut me out of her life blah blah blah.

miss_jaclynrae Established Member

miss_jaclynrae

Posted
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With the guys who I ended it with I NEVER said it. I think it's a cop out, and some of them I didn't want to be friends with. With others it was a mutual end and the keeping in touch thing was mutual.

Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

Posted
Posted

It pisses me off even MORE when guys do it after YEARS together.

 

Yeah lets just hang out and be all friendy while u move on from me and hook up with other girls:sick:

 

Whatever.

therhythm Established Member

therhythm

Posted
Posted (edited)

Most of my friends are women and in a moment of time I have slept with almost everyone of them ... I don't know how the fact that you have put your penis in her vagina affects the fact that you can be friends with them without doing that... but maybe it is just me ;)

Edited by therhythm
pink_sugar Established Member

pink_sugar

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I think it depends on circumstances. If you've shared many years together and a life together...it means more to stay friends as you've come to develop a genuine love for the person, even if things didn't end up working out romantically. However, if you've been having a casual romance and suddenly he/she says "oh, let's just be friends" I don't think it's the same thing.

TheGuard13 Established Member

TheGuard13

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"Let's still be friends" seems to be code for "Please don't create drama involving us/me in the future".

thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

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Yeah...Generally speaking it doesnt work when one has romantic feelings and the other doesnt. Its too awkward.

 

I may be wrong here, but it would seem that if you can easily transition to friends after being romantically linked, then there probably wasnt much depth to that relationship..

 

TFY

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henderson14 Established Member

henderson14

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To those who "remain friends." Please tell me what that entails? Do you call her/him up to see how they are doing? I just don't get it.

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