buzzie2 Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 When it comes to dating, do guys always like to make the first move? Or is it sometimes okay for the girl to initiate dates, as long as she doesn't chase him and act all clingly and desperate? There is a guys who is showing interest in me, but is not asking me out. That is why I am asking.
Southern Cal Dude Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Guys are individuals. Some like to make the first move, some don't. Guys love being approached by women...if they find her attractive. Not too many would turn down Angelina Jolie if she made the first move.
phineas Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 How do you know him? Men, smart men do not just ask every woman out they are interested in if they have to see them afterword on a regular basis. not necessarily due to rejection but because if you do date & it goes horribly wrong then you are left with a lot of BS & drama that isn't good for anyone.
SuperGeek Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 The only time I even approach a woman now is if I think her response is going to be a good one. That translates into not approaching very often at all.
carhill Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 There is a guys who is showing interest in me, but is not asking me out. That is why I am asking. Does he know that you're single? After dozens of experiences with ladies who ended up not being single, that's the 'single' most relevant issue for myself with such relations. If he knows you're single and he's not getting down to business, insufficient interest would be my opinion. Sufficient interest overcomes a lot of inhibitions. Trust me.
ltjg45 Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 I prefer not to make the first move unless I know something concerning the woman in question. Sure, I may stare, I may get horny, but I won't approach until I know something concerning her. I don't cold approach complete strangers unless she shows interest in me first.
melodicintention Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Alpha males will insist on it. Anyone else is a Beta male.
Keenly Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Alpha males will insist on it. Anyone else is a Beta male. Beta seems to be the only word in your vocabulary. There is nothing wrong with asking a guy out, its received as a pleasant surprise.
Ordinaryday Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 I'd love it if a girl asked me out, women should do it more often! you wanted equality, you got it, and that includes being able to ask a guy out
hppr Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 If you want to be successful you have to take risks. Waiting on someone else to ask you out, give you a raise, whatever, just because you think that you are deserving of it almost never works. There's a guy you like. Fine. Go talk to him. Don't put any pressure on it or think that he's going to be the love of your life just go say hi. Once you figure out how to do that it will become very simple and painless.
JuneJulySeptember Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Guys are individuals. Some like to make the first move, some don't. Guys love being approached by women...if they find her attractive. Not too many would turn down Angelina Jolie if she made the first move. Uh, yea. I've seen guys not turn down a LOT less than Angelina Jolie when they were approached. You work in a bar so you know what I mean.
Southern Cal Dude Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Uh, yea. I've seen guys not turn down a LOT less than Angelina Jolie when they were approached. You work in a bar so you know what I mean. Angelina Jolie is at the top of the spectrum, but my point stands. If an attractive woman makes a move and the guy finds her attractive(assuming he's single), he most likely isn't saying no. If the guy is taken and intends on staying faithful, it doesn't matter what she looks like.
ltjg45 Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 If an attractive woman makes a move and the guy finds her attractive(assuming he's single), he most likely isn't saying no. If the guy is taken and intends on staying faithful, it doesn't matter what she looks like. Not to nitpick but you could have removed the bolded and it would still just as true. After all, I have seen less-than-stellar looking women (definitely not ones I, or many males, would call attractive) actually approach a lonely, single man (and the women knows he is single beforehand) and the guy was quick to snag her up even though looks-wise she just doesn't match up. One of those couples actually got married. I'm not sure if they are happily married but they are certainly married to each other. It's just another one of those mysteries I would like to solve but I know better to think that it can be solved.
MrCastle Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 They just need to give me something. Anything. I'll run with it and do the rest. If she says something like "we should hang sometime" or "I always wanted to go to..." Then I'd follow up with a concrete plan. I'd make an official date. But I usually make the first move and I'm comfortable with that. I believe it's the man's job to lead in most instances. Really depends on the ebbs and flows of our individual chemistry. I have been with some really assertive girls who don't like when I try to make all the decisions. 2
Southern Cal Dude Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Not to nitpick but you could have removed the bolded and it would still just as true. After all, I have seen less-than-stellar looking women (definitely not ones I, or many males, would call attractive) actually approach a lonely, single man (and the women knows he is single beforehand) and the guy was quick to snag her up even though looks-wise she just doesn't match up. One of those couples actually got married. I'm not sure if they are happily married but they are certainly married to each other. It's just another one of those mysteries I would like to solve but I know better to think that it can be solved. Guys generally find the same women attractive. This would actually favor the most attractive women as they would have a very high success rate. If a woman is less than stellar and the guy is that quick to snag her, he likely isn't anything to look at either.
ltjg45 Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Guys generally find the same women attractive. This would actually favor the most attractive women as they would have a very high success rate. If a woman is less than stellar and the guy is that quick to snag her, he likely isn't anything to look at either. If I had to offer an opinion on which one actually looks better, I would have definitely gave it to the male in that relationship. He's decent-looking. He's not so attractive to the point where he is a woman magnet but I can't see why he can't find a decent relationship. The woman in question is definitely less attractive overall than the male, in my opinion. I guess, to him, that was the best he can get access to so, yeah, he definitely settled but he is happy nonetheless. I rather for him to be like that than lonely and depressed, even if that is not the kind of woman he really wanted.
fortyninethousand322 Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 When it comes to dating, do guys always like to make the first move? Or is it sometimes okay for the girl to initiate dates, as long as she doesn't chase him and act all clingly and desperate? There is a guys who is showing interest in me, but is not asking me out. That is why I am asking. The guys that you will most likely want to date will make the first move. Other guys will not...
HokeyReligions Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Do guys like to make the first move? No but we let them THINK they do. 1
iamawesome Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 (edited) If you are interested make a move. That simple. Guy, or girl doesn't matter -- everyone is different including varying degrees of cluelessness. Thinking about who makes the first move is over-thinking it. Quick kiss on the lips says it all. Doesn't matter who starts it. Edited June 27, 2013 by iamawesome
HokeyReligions Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 you make us do, because you won't do it See how well it works?!
KungFuJoe Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 If I had to offer an opinion on which one actually looks better, I would have definitely gave it to the male in that relationship. He's decent-looking. He's not so attractive to the point where he is a woman magnet but I can't see why he can't find a decent relationship. The woman in question is definitely less attractive overall than the male, in my opinion. I guess, to him, that was the best he can get access to so, yeah, he definitely settled but he is happy nonetheless. I rather for him to be like that than lonely and depressed, even if that is not the kind of woman he really wanted. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. He might very well consider her attractive.
thefooloftheyear Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 I think younger women may want the guy to make the first move.. As they get older, I find more women will take the initiative.. Agree, ladies? TFY
Carenth Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 I've found that as I get older more and more women are being more assertive, well towards me at least. I've been told the main reason is because they got sick of sitting on the sideline waiting for the person they wanted to ask them out. So they knew what they wanted and went for it. So no guys do not always make the first move.
fishtaco Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Perfectly fine. It's actually nice to have the woman to do the work instead for a change. But the chasers, despite gender, all face the same set of problems - finding that balance between not enough and too much. Good luck. Even if this doesn't work out, don't give up on taking the initiative. Being the woman you have the option of not always having to take the initiative, but if you are capable of it, you can always bust it out when the situation demands it.
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