forgetmenot75 Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Hi all, I just broke up a very difficult and painful relationship last week. Two days ago I met this guy online. Very handsome, we clicked instantly. Thing is he doesn't seem to be very interested, or so do I think. I have to say to him I wanted to meet him (we are both in our thirties!), and he never initiates contact. Today he didn't email me. I am waiting, but I don't want to look uninterested either...What should I do? I just broke up with a person who wasn't interested on me, and it was very painful, so I don't want to make the same mistake to chase someone who doesn't show any interest from the beginning... He said he wanted to meet me, and he always reply my emails/texts... What should I do?
undergroundlife13 Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Never look into it until you meet. Thats my advice. Plus rebounding never works. Ive had a few rebounds and ****ed them all up due to grieving over my ex.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 What do you mean? should I email him, or just wait?
Author forgetmenot75 Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 I'm just tired to be the one asking how is he doing! If he's interested, he should at least send me an email, right?
Zahara Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Yes, when someone is interested, they keep communication going. You just broke up. I'm not sure as to why you are rushing into dating but all I can think of is that your self-esteem is in the tank and you are looking for attention to feel good about yourself. You chased your ex. You haven't learned from that because you're lacking judgement again. Heal from your 1 week old break-up. You pay yourself attention versus looking for it from men. Put some effort into regaining your self-esteem because without that, you'll be repeating the same mistakes with every man that comes along. Finally, take a break from men. 2
Author forgetmenot75 Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 Ugh Zahara, you're right. I sent him an email before reading your post, ugh. I guess I'm still not ready to dating again. I broke up with that idiot, and now I found another one, exactly as uninterested as the first one... 1
Zahara Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 The thing is you know he is showing signs of disinterest, yet you don't trust yourself and you're already getting anxious over a man you met online two days ago, and one you've had very little communication with. You're not ready. All you're trying to do is find someone to help you forget about the ex. As emotionally fuzzy as you are right now, you're going to make some unwise decisions that are going to keep you stuck in this cycle if you keep doing this. Take a break. Rest. Be alone. Feel your pain. Pamper yourself. Work on your issues. Learn to love yourself. 2
Author forgetmenot75 Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 You're probably right. but if I don't keep my mind occupied, I start to miss him, and I don't want to miss him. I don't want to feel the pain either, I've suffered too much this last 6 months. I see this new guy is online on POF, still he didn't reply to my email that I sent half an hour ago. He definitely is not interested. this time, I wont insist. See, I've learned something at least
Zahara Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Find other ways to occupy your mind. Read a book. Take up a hobby. Join a gym. Volunteer. Etc. Seeking man attention isn't taking away the problem, it's adding to it. You only "learned something" because you caught him on POF. It wasn't based on your emotional smarts or judgment. 1
Gottabestrong Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 I just broke up a very difficult and painful relationship last week. Two days ago I met this guy online. What should I do? Do Nothing! You met this guy online 2 days ago!!! Why are you already obsessing over him? Also, you just ended a painful relationship last week. I think you should take a while to heal. Otherwise your wounds will be fresh and you won't be able to just focus on a new person, but will always think about your ex, and if a new guy does something that hurts you (case in point) it is going to be more painful because it reminds you of your ex and what he did. Unrelated to your current circumstances, I believe that you should never pursue anyone you met online after only a few days and before you even met in person. If someone sends you a message who seems nice, reply and then try to not think about it anymore until/if you hear back from them. Many of us get invested so quickly into people we don't even know and most of the time it leads to heartache. Don't get attached to people you have never even met! Good luck!
clia Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 I'm super confused. You met him two days ago. Your expectations for communication seem completely out of whack given that timeframe. There is no reason why he should be constantly texting or e-mailing you at this point. At most I woud expect maybe two or three e-mail exchanges by this point in time. I have to say to him I wanted to meet him (we are both in our thirties!), and he never initiates contact. How many communications have you had with him in the past two days? Today he didn't email me. He just met you! He doesn't have to email you every day. I am waiting, but I don't want to look uninterested either...What should I do? He knows you are interested, since you are the one initiating communication. Do nothing. He said he wanted to meet me, and he always reply my emails/texts... Again..."always" over the past TWO days? Get a grip. Slow down. He's online dating, so he is likely talking to other women. Just play it cool. Wait for him to contact you. If he doesn't, he is not interested, so you should just move on.
LinangelyKerbs Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 The thing is you know he is showing signs of disinterest, yet you don't trust yourself and you're already getting anxious over a man you met online two days ago, and one you've had very little communication with. You're not ready. All you're trying to do is find someone to help you forget about the ex. As emotionally fuzzy as you are right now, you're going to make some unwise decisions that are going to keep you stuck in this cycle if you keep doing this. Take a break. Rest. Be alone. Feel your pain. Pamper yourself. Work on your issues. Learn to love yourself. You are on point Zahara! Forgetmenot75 - Learn from your past relationships! Learn and grow!
Drseussgrrl Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 This is why you should never date with your self-esteem in tatters. You're projecting all of your current insecurities onto this poor dude you haven't even met yet. I've read your other threads. You hung on to and chased a dude who wasn't into you and didn't treat you well. Why? I think you should take a break from dating all together until you can approach it with confidence. The way you feel about yourself at this point will just drive men away, or attract the ones who have no problem with taking advantage of you.
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