Single rose on a second date?

[rocketman122]

Really? People are wondering what you would do with a single rose? Carry it, stick it in your purse or where Rocketman said! Better yet, let her hand it to the first person she comes across who looks like they've had a bad day. Share the love. It's a sweet, romantic gesture, and if it freaks her out, it's HER problem.

 

thank god! someone who knows what romance is! people are clueless. you dont need to put so much thought into it. its a gesture, like holding your hand, like opening the door, like paying the freakin bill, like courting and teasing and flirting.. like every other thing thats.... like a gesture. he didnt ask for her hand in marriage.

 

Better yet, let her hand it to the first person she comes across who looks like they've had a bad day. Share the love.

And I like your style MWUSA! that would be wonderful!

 

It used to be a sweet and romantic gesture. Now it is just seen as creepy and corny.

 

who said? do you date much? because I can say for sure that ive been on too many dates that my pocket hurt bad, and I can tell you that every single women I brought a rose too accepted it with a big smile. they always felt special and told me they havent gotten a rose in a long time and never on a first date.

 

but maybe the problem is that I date older women. it may be a different era. todays generation are horrible at courting and dating. thats why theres so many single people.

 

OP it will make you stand. if shes not the romantic type or doesnt reciprocate then rethink if you want to continue dating her. be better than the other guys. do it!

[Woggle]

Go ahead OP and do this then you can come on here when it gets you nowhere and you can be another guy wondering why nice guys like him can't get a woman. Go ahead and try it so you can learn the hard way.

[tbf]

It's a sweet gesture. Go for it!

[Divasu]

It IS a sweet gesture. Personally, I've always responded favorably to acts of kindness. Even something as simple as a single flower being given.

 

The bottom line is if an act of kindness such as this, turns a woman "off", enough so that you're going to hold back on things YOU want to do, then reconsider the type of woman you want to be with.

 

Your choice.

[carhill]

I had planned on having a single rose waiting on the table for her at the restaurant. We both find eachother attractive and have said we like eachother already. Is this too soon on a second date? Would you women appreciate this or is it too cliche? Age 21.

Remember that decade well. I used to do stuff like that, except it would be a rose from my rose garden or a bouquet of wildflowers from my orchard. Took about ten years but finally gave it up. Heck, I don't think my exW ever went into the orchard once in the ten years we were married, except maybe to pick some cherries once or twice. That's just how it goes around here. Hope your experiences are more positive. Good luck.

[Ripnet]

I donno. Mixed feelings. I guess it depends on the guy and the level of attraction to and comfort around him. But I would at least appreciate the effort, even if it might make me a little bit uncomfortable.

 

I'm going to agree, when I bought flowers too soon either date got cancelled or the women felt uncomfortable. There is a right time for everything.

[NoMoreJerks]

To add: Personally, depending on the situation and chemistry, I might even consider it as "trying too hard" at that point in the dating process. Too early, IMO. And it can also make me wonder if he's just trying to get on my good side, to get me into bed ASAP. *shrug* That's just me. Still, though, if I liked the guy A LOT, maybe...

[NoMoreJerks]

a woman dumps a guy for 'trying too hard'. just another average day for a woman. what the hell do women want, a man who doesn't try? bring a woman a rose or saying i love you even a year in risks having her end everything right then and there.

With me, you don't have to "try". You just have to be yourself. Why try? I mean, just be yourself and let's see if we click. Why put on a show? I don't like the show/impress aspect of things. If one or both sides are making an effort and trying too hard, it's no longer fun. It makes me uncomfortable. I went on a date with this guy yesterday, and while he didn't make any effort (didn't pay for my meal, didn't give me a flower or something along those lines, etc.) -- the whole thing was too much effort already. I was making too much effort to feel comfortable around him / find stuff to talk about, etc. I don't like that. If I don't feel comfortable around someone from the first time, it's probably not going to work out, it means we are on very different frequencies or have different lifestyles. If you have to obviously make an effort to impress me, then you just aren't my type... My date last night was REALLY exhausting, mentally.

 

And anyway, OP wanted to hear how women might interpret this gesture. It's one of the possible interpretations.

Edited June 20, 2013 by NoMoreJerks

[MidwestUSA]

there is all right.

for a man to cry, almost never.

for flowers. after engagement but just sparingly.

saying i love you. late in the process and should be said very rarely.

buying her a gift. buy her the wrong thing and you'll see anger like you've never seen before.

Very poetic.

 

Spoken by someone who has been there, eh? Keep the faith, not all of us are impossible.

 

 

Cry. When you feel like crying.

Flowers. Just spend wisely.

I love you. Many times per day.

Gift. My gift is you.

[NoMoreJerks]

be yourself. if that cliché had any truth to it i wouldn't be 40 never having had sex or a real relationship.

I don't know what planet you are on, or how socially awkward you are, but even being socially awkward as I am, I have never had a problem getting laid, when I have been myself. Other times, I've tried too hard and have not gotten anything.

 

 

if was falling for a woman i just might get her the rose. but given how many women get offended even much later on, i know that getting a rose might destroy the relationship, even if we've been dating a couple of years. i cry more than once every 10 years. women definitely do not like that, so I've got to hide it. and on and on it goes. being myself never ever works. ive tried it so many damn times and im 0 for my life with it.

If I were in a relationship with someone (a few months of dating at least), and he got me a rose, that would be the sweetest , most romantic gesture. On a second date? Not so much. It would creep me out a little bit, come off as needy/clingy, too desperate, etc. You don't fall in love on a second date. If you do, major alarm bells and red flags. I don't mind if guys cry. I rather like it, actually -- when they are stressed or we've had a fight, and we're both emotional, I have encouraged my ex to just let the emotions go.

[InsaneTrombone]

I guess it depends on how you interpret the rose. I'm not giving it to her as another way to say 'I love you'. I'm not on my knee giving it to her, it'll just be laying on the table waiting for us to be seated. Like I said, I could care less if she takes it home or leaves it there, but the moment is what I was aiming for. I just thought she'd appreciate me thinking about her in a way she wouldn't expect.

 

Anyways, I'll report back to the thread tonight with how it goes. Somehow I don't see her cancelling the date on me because of a single rose . We shall see though!

[Ripnet]

you're a female. in other words you can get laid. being a male who's 40 and never had any isn't a good thing to just about one hundred percent of women.

 

I was going to say this, some guys do it trying to get laid by buying roses, I've seen it several times.

[NoMoreJerks]

you're a female. in other words you can get laid. being a male who's 40 and never had any isn't a good thing to just about one hundred percent of women. they want a guy with at least as much experience as them. i don't have it and can't get it. women and men both have laughed at me for crying. try to hide it but can't. anyone who's 40 and never been in any real religionship is either totally asexual or needy/clingy. how can you not be? if you've been single for over a decade, and i mean single with no sex, you'd see where i was coming from.

 

 

there's absolutely no way out for me and i'm just expressing my bitterness. i was the 'nice guy' and all the old ladies said i'd make a perfect husband and that i'd find someone when i least expected it. lol. now i'm just a 'bitter guy'.

My ex was 40, and he hadn't gotten laid with a "regular" woman in a long time, so much so that he had the need to go to Thailand to f*ck whores on a daily basis for 2 weeks at a time, 4 times a year... I went out with him, had sex with him. He was a d*ck though, and cheated on me. Anyway, it doesn't mean 40 year old men don't get laid. It's an attitude/confidence thing, for the most part. Unless you're butt-ugly, completely socially inept, etc.

[NoMoreJerks]

I was going to say this, some guys do it trying to get laid by buying roses, I've seen it several times.

Hence my point earlier: "And it can also make me wonder if he's just trying to get on my good side, to get me into bed ASAP." *shrug*

[NoMoreJerks]

and some guys buy flowers because they like her, not as a mechanism to get laid. i don't know why you make that assumption.

I seem to have a sixth sense for that stuff. Most of the time you can tell. I would say, if you 're not confident in your own skin, trying to pull off this move is likely an attempt at getting on her good side , even if the intention is not outright getting her into bed ...

 

But let's be honest, are you a flowers person? Would you give a woman flowers just because you like flowers, or because you think she might like them, and that might increase your chances that she might like you back?

[eastcoastgirl88]

I would be really creeped out.

 

A single rose is, to me, really, really creepy. This isn't "The Bachelor."

 

If you want to bring her flowers, I would wait until the fourth or fifth date and bring her some nice tulips or something she can put in a vase at home. Pick her up so she can run them upstairs and get them in water.

 

Don't put her in the position of having to leave something you brought her at the table, either. That would make me feel awful!

[clia]

A single rose is, to me, really, really creepy. This isn't "The Bachelor."

 

 

I choose you!

 

I think third date or later is more appropriate, but a single flower shouldn't be a huge deal, provided she is into you. If she isn't, it could come across as too much too soon.

[Ripnet]

I prefer to buy flowers after we have sex for the first time or already in a relationship. The reason for me is that i don't want her to fall in love because I bought her flowers. It can be put someone in a romantic mood but is the person really loving or liking me because I bought flowers or is it because she really does love me.

To me I rather have a woman love me for being myself. Not trying to wow her with gifts. I used to write romantic poems. I would never write a poem for a woman before a relationship, because it's something special and not every woman will get it.

 

Buying flowers too soon doesn't usually end well at least for me. With my past experience that's what I saw and since I"m a lot more confident then back then I see it differently. I don't try to win a woman's heart with things.

 

Each other own though some women might appreciate some won't it might seem a little creepy.

[eastcoastgirl88]

Ripnet, I would LOVE it if a guy brought me flowers after we first had sex. That would be AWESOME! I suggest you pass this info along to every man in the universe.

 

To me, that would eliminate any feelings of uneasiness that he is going to "disappear" after sex. It would also make me associate sex with THAT particular guy as something HE views as special, not just me. My affection for him would shoot through the roof.

 

Wow...what a great idea...seriously best idea of 2013.

[NoMoreJerks]

Ripnet, I would LOVE it if a guy brought me flowers after we first had sex. That would be AWESOME! I suggest you pass this info along to every man in the universe.

ME TOO! It's a great idea, and it would make me feel very happy, and also, it's some sort of a nice/neat way of reassuring me that he's just not gonna disappear into thin air or treat me like a booty call.

Ooops, I just read the rest of your post Eastcoastgirl88, and it turns out that I feel EXACTLY the same way that you do about this idea, for the same exact reasons!

[NoMoreJerks]

I prefer to buy flowers after we have sex for the first time or already in a relationship.

YESS YES YES!!!! THIS! :love:

[pteromom]

I don't think it is creepy. As long as it isn't a gift given with expectations or if it comes across as something you do for everyone.

 

I think it is sweet. It is always nice to know someone was thinking about you.

 

Some of you people are too cynical.

[carhill]

Yeah, after that decade of shame, I started doing what Ripnet suggested and things went much better. Interestingly, I had a much easier time of it when dating in the FSU/CIS because I could not only bring the lady flowers but also some to her mother. Color was very important. I liked those social customs.

[Ripnet]

Yeah, after that decade of shame, I started doing what Ripnet suggested and things went much better. Interestingly, I had a much easier time of it when dating in the FSU/CIS because I could not only bring the lady flowers but also some to her mother. Color was very important. I liked those social customs.

 

Also if a woman has sex with you she obviously likes you enough. She isn't trying to string you along unless she's lonely and desperate but guys usually avoid women like that anyways.

 

Also if a guy starts writing poems for you then he's really in love with you but that's for relationships not just for dating.

[RedRobin]

If a guy just wants sex, all he has to do is lie about his intentions and turn on the charm for 1-3 dates according to today's traditions.

 

Not sure how flowers after sex reassures anyone... if they are the type to use them to manipulate someone.

 

I'm going back to my earlier statement... a lot of you are A-OK with a 'kiss' on the first date or second date reassuring you of what exactly?? but you are gonna get creeped out by a flower?

 

To me, having a near stranger swoop in for a kiss is trying too hard. Not a flower, for chrissakes.

 

Maybe because I DO give flowers to strangers... it doesn't seem strange to me at all.