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How important was it and how much do we hang onto the sex ?


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Posted

How important was it and how much do we hang onto the sex ?

 

For me , it is icing on the cake. The sex was never mind blowing, but when it happened it had passion and meaning. For me, anyway.

 

Does the sex with the ex cloud your judgement and does it eat away at you knowing someone else is jumping their bones ?

 

Sex is sex, important in a relationship imo but about 20% of it, tops.

 

For me the fact someone else is there, doing it is a real challenge to get over and I am sure many feel the same but was it really that important in the scheme of things or are our brains fooling us ?

Posted

Sexual attraction is important to a relationship. The act of sex is important because it is the bonding of two peoples. With this, emotions are shared and the body produces chemicals (look up serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin) and releases orgasms during sex.

 

The mind is attached to the other person during sex, and creates memories of this pleasure. When sex with this person does not happen, the body goes through withdrawals of these chemicals. When you think about sex with the ex, those neural pathways are starving for their fix.

 

On an emotional level, sex for me (and I am a male) is an act of intimacy, and a certain degree of trust must be there for me to engage in sex. During sex, the trust bond grows tighter. When my ex and I broke up, this break resulted in a break in the trust bond regarding sex. This may differ from person to person. Also, I do believe that sex can pertain to oral, anal, and vaginal. Just my $.02.

Posted

So, here's my take-

 

Sex was never THAT important to me.

 

Until I had amazing sex.

 

And I'm not talking with anyone I was in a relationship with, either- the first time I had mind-blowing coitus was with a one-off. It was so awesome though, that it made me re-think how I approached relationships, and completely flipped my world upside-down when it came to sexuality and its role in my life.

 

Now, I see it like this: when I enter into a committed relationship, I'm going into it with the mindset that it will last... and if I'm only going to have sex with one person until I (or they) die, it had better be amazing enough to keep me from getting bored, or wanting to seek "entertainment" elsewhere.

 

So for me, ANYONE who is my girlfriend is REALLY good at sex.

 

Which makes it really sh**ty when we break up... because it's actually hard to find girls who are REALLY good at it (most aren't nearly as awesome as they seem to think they are).

 

Man, maybe my standards are too high.

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