GlamourGal Posted October 13, 2004 Posted October 13, 2004 Okay so before I post my dilema I suppose I need to give some painful background information...and I dont really know how to do that... ...I'm dating this guy named Jeff and we've been dating now for about 4 months...but we've known each other our whole lives; we were in 4-H together when he was in 3rd grade and I was in 4th...and now we are 23 and 21. Well before I started dating Jeff I was crazy in love with Sam...and he was my everything but he was taken from me in an automobile accident...and since that time Jeff had become an even better friend than he already was to me; and over time things just happened and the next thing I knew I'm in love with my best guy friend. Okay. So Jeff and I are dating; and we didnt really tell people for the first month or so because we used to work for the same supermarket chain...at which I still work for...well even tually people found out and most people were happy..but some of my 'friends' weren't...And now they are making me chose Jeff or them. This one girl Christy is best friends with Jeff's exgirlfriend Leah and she's psycho let me tell you (seriously she is; Jeff had to get a restraining order on her after they broke up) so I guess Leah found out about Jeff andI from Christy and Leah started talking all this **** about me....she's saying that I'mjust dating Jeff to get over Sam..and that I'm using him...and that Jeff is still in love with her (they broke up 2 years ago) and now my friend Christy is really mad at me and says that she doesnt want to be my friend anymore; and now Christy is starting rumors about me too...she's telling all of our other friends all this crap about me...and I dont understand why. Christy says all I have to do is stop seeing Jeff... ...but you guys...Jeff makes me so happy. Before Jeff and I started being more than friends everynight when I got off work I'd go to the cemetary, then go home, and go to bed by 8..usually I'd fall asleep from crying, and then I'd wake up and go back to work...and Jeff changed all that...he makes me happy...he can make me smile....he makes me laugh. I told Christy that I was not going to break up with Jeff; and that if Leah didnt leave me alone (stop calling, im'ing, or emaliling) that I'd go to the police for harassment...and Christy called me a Drama Queen and told me that I need help that Sam's accident messed me up in the brain if I think it's okay to date her friends ex boyfriend....WTF? I was never friends with leah....and just because one of my friends is friends with her then he's off limits so to say? I dont know if this makes any sense at all to anyone; I kind of feel like I was just venting and getting everything out...and I dont know what I expect anyone to say...other than she's not really your friend..and maybe she's not but it hurts so bad the thought of losing her as a friend all because I'm in love with someone that's not Sam...but I'm 23..am I supposed to never date again?
Sukotto Posted October 13, 2004 Posted October 13, 2004 If she was your friend then she would respect your decision and try not to intefere. Though its nice that she shows concern for you but I think its time to tell her that she needs to either stop going on about it or stop being friends with you. Simple as that. If he makes you happy then thats all that matters.
Author GlamourGal Posted October 14, 2004 Author Posted October 14, 2004 I wish I could realize that and stop dwelling on it..but I can't..it bothers me all the time and it gets me so upset...the other day I was in the grocery store (there's ONE grocery store in the town that I live in) and Christy works there and she was really mean to me...I left the store in tears.
YellowLioness Posted October 14, 2004 Posted October 14, 2004 It sounds to me like your friend Christie is a drama queen, and is just bored and/ or unhappy with her life, and is trying to make yours bad so that she can feel better. Don't buy into her mind games. If Leah is harassing you, and is scary, then go to the police. Get a restraining order if you have to. Your man shoudl also talk to Leah, and tell her in no certain terms that he is over her. Since his emotions are the ones in question, he needs to step up and let everyone know how he feels. If Leah still continues to harass you, then it's a police matter, as I've said before.
Author GlamourGal Posted October 14, 2004 Author Posted October 14, 2004 thanks; Leah hasn't talked to jeff or I in about 3 weeks. It just really upsets me that Christy can treat one of her 'friends' that way...I dont know why I can't just stop letting it bother me and just be happy with Jeff.
Barby Posted October 14, 2004 Posted October 14, 2004 the other day I was in the grocery store (there's ONE grocery store in the town that I live in) and Christy works there and she was really mean to me...I left the store in tears. Besides being complete b&tches that's why they do it.....because they can get to you. Listen you went through a lot, now you're moving on, it's not like you stole your best friend's BF so don't listen to them and don't let this ruin your relationship with Jeff. Good luck and venting is always good, these girls are so immature and hung up on drama that they can't see straight, I'm sure Leah was hurt by losing him but it's not your fault, they broke up for a reason so just be happy with him.
Author GlamourGal Posted October 14, 2004 Author Posted October 14, 2004 thanks barby...when Jeff and I first let people know that we were going to try things and take them slowly; alot of people had a problem with it...alot of people didnt think I should be dating...but Jeff helped me see that I should just worry about me for once...and I guess I should try my hardest to stop worrying about People who aren't really my friends to begin with; and start concentrating on Jeff and I. If I had a huggy smilie face I'd put him here.
Barby Posted October 14, 2004 Posted October 14, 2004 Well I'm glad that you want to stop worrying about what people think, you've probably cryed a river for your lost love, he probably wouldn't want you to ruin the rest of your life being miserable either. You are too young and since you've began to move on don't let busy-bodied faux friends hinder your progress..... Jeff has helped you cope and begin to heal and live again, don't listen to anyone but your heart and your "real" friends/family. **hugs** and I have a feeling you're going to be great. Take care and keep your head high!
Author GlamourGal Posted October 14, 2004 Author Posted October 14, 2004 I'm going to start crying again...I dont know how you..someone I dont even know can be so kind and understanding while someone who's known me for years...and knew Sam...can be so mean hearted.
Barby Posted October 15, 2004 Posted October 15, 2004 Don't cry...and also people who you've known for such a long time (if you're talking about the two girls you mentioned) are just being mean for their own amusement. Maybe for some reason this girl is closer to Leah and since Leah was obviously obsessed with Jeff she is going to do whatever she can to make who ever he is with miserable. They are being harsher because they think they can, they think they have ammo against you, (you getting over losing your love). It isn't fair that people treat one another that way but sadly it's a fact of life...and since you live in a small town it probably won't get any easier.... I know small towns are famous for "old town biddies" gossipers who have nothing better to do with their time but sit around and talk sh*t and try and make other people feel bad about their choices, ect. Sounds like these two are "biddies" in the making.... Hang in there and remember you have a good thing going and nothing they say/do can take that away from you.
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