struggling to move on.

[Ashley_SW6]

hey everyone, was just hoping for a little advice.

 

Me and my girlfriend of over just 2 years broke up in April. She broke up with me, as she told me she just now sees me as a 'friend.' Obviously I was devastated.

She was my first girlfriend, and I gave her everything I could. I'm not going into everything now as I want advice on something else.

 

Now, during our time together, we very rarely argued. We got on extremely well together. Throughout the relationship, numerous lads tried to break us up, as they liked her. Now, I haven't been able to move on yet, it was 2 months ago now we broke up.

 

One of the lads who tried splitting us up last year, is now very close to her. I know all of this because, I still see her sometimes. (and I know I'm stupid), I haven't got the willpower to go NC. She is a major part of my life. and I still love her.

 

Anyway, I found out this lad is close to her as I have been looking after her the last few days as she hasn't been well. This is where she admitted about him. I know she is not my girlfriend anymore but it hurts.

 

I don't know how to shake the feeling of the person you love, being with someone else. That is what hurts most. I stupidly cut most contact with my friends when I was with her, so I could be with her when she wanted. Now we are split up, i have no social life anymore because of that. Whilst she is easily moving on and enjoying life.

 

This constant thought of someone else, (and that someone being the person who tried to split me and her up last year), being with her is painful.

 

I know everyone will say to move on I need to go NC but I just can't do that.

Moving on is so much harder when I know that she is very close to someone else now.

 

I just want to be happy again and I don't know how

 

Sorry for the long post everyone, and to anyone who took time to read it, then I appreciate it.

x

[Hopeinme]

That must really be a sucky feeling. Thinking about my ex with someone else just makes me sick all over. Its goibg to be hard, but fact is, she has moved on. Yes, you love her - but do you think she is worth your love? Everyone here is going to tell you to go NC because, that s the only way you can liok forward to being happy without her someday. Get back out there with your friends, it might take a while but family and true friends are really what you need now hang in there x

[Ashley_SW6]

Thanks for the reply.

Yeah, I know NC is the best thing to do, and I know it needs to be done, but I just can't seem to do it

It's the hardest thing I'd ever have to do and I am just not strong enough to go through with it.

 

i honestly thought that two months after the break up, I'd start to be on the up again, but I'm getting worse if anything.

 

This is the hardest experience I've had to endure in my whole life. Albeit I am only 20 but I really cared, and still do care for her. I can't bring myself to delete our photo's on my phone of our good times together.

 

I know I need to go NC but I don't think I'd stick to it long because even since we broke up, i eagerly await her every text.

 

Thanks for your reply though.x

[HopelessRomantick]

Know the feeling well, because my ex was in a relationship only days or weeks after she broke up with me.

 

It really sucks the big one to think of them together but you have to do anything and everything you can to avoid that thought process. When it happens try to catch yourself, close your eyes or focus on some object, take a deep breath and try to visualize your lungs/chest expanding and then contracting. It will surely relax you and bring peace even if only temporary.

[HopelessRomantick]

That must really be a sucky feeling. Thinking about my ex with someone else just makes me sick all over. Its goibg to be hard, but fact is, she has moved on. Yes, you love her - but do you think she is worth your love? Everyone here is going to tell you to go NC because, that s the only way you can liok forward to being happy without her someday. Get back out there with your friends, it might take a while but family and true friends are really what you need now hang in there x

 

Hopeinme, good advice but I'd like to add that sometimes we cannot choose who our heart or soul wants to love. Sometimes we are powerless and I don't think it's a conscience decision to give our love to someone or another because they deserve it. Just sayin'

[Ashley_SW6]

Just find it so hard to figure out how she can move on so easily, whilst I'm still a mess.

Cutting most contact with my friends, so that I could make time for her, was the most stupid thing I could have done, because now me and her aren't together, I haven't really got my mates now either.

[Dundas]

Mine's similar. My girlfriend (Ashley) broke up with me in April after 2 1/2 years and she was my first too. She said she didn't feel the same anymore and I was more like a friend... Well, she left me for one of her brother's friends (she met him a month before we'd broke up and I was hanging out with them and all his friends too... I just couldn't put two and two together).

Let's just say it was a very bad breakup. I flipped out. She was somewhat nice about it at first... but the more and more I've tried to talk to her... the more she's told me things like 'I'm happy now, move on'... now she's just being a complete B****!!! I'm having a tough time moving on too because I let go of all my friends and wrapped my life around her... but luckily, the past couple weeks, I've reconnected with them and have been making a much bigger social group than I've ever had before. You'll get through it! Just stop ALL contact altogether, or else she'll just string you along. I know it hurts, but she no longer wants you! Don't just be there as a friend for her. I still work with the B-- (Never thought I would talk about her like that, but she deserves it) and I have to run in to her from time-to-time when she relieves my shifts at work. She doesn't even have the decency to say 'Bye' when I say Bye... and takes hours to respond to texts that I have to send her about work. It's over, move on. I know it's hard to hear but don't let her see you suffer! I'm a really nice guy but my ex is turning me into a d**k.

[Hopeinme]

Hopeinme, good advice but I'd like to add that sometimes we cannot choose who our heart or soul wants to love. Sometimes we are powerless and I don't think it's a conscience decision to give our love to someone or another because they deserve it. Just sayin'

 

I totally agree with you! Love is just like that , it is so complicated!

[Hopeinme]

Hopeinme, good advice but I'd like to add that sometimes we cannot choose who our heart or soul wants to love. Sometimes we are powerless and I don't think it's a conscience decision to give our love to someone or another because they deserve it. Just sayin'

 

Thanks for the reply.

Yeah, I know NC is the best thing to do, and I know it needs to be done, but I just can't seem to do it

It's the hardest thing I'd ever have to do and I am just not strong enough to go through with it.

 

i honestly thought that two months after the break up, I'd start to be on the up again, but I'm getting worse if anything.

 

This is the hardest experience I've had to endure in my whole life. Albeit I am only 20 but I really cared, and still do care for her. I can't bring myself to delete our photo's on my phone of our good times together.

 

I know I need to go NC but I don't think I'd stick to it long because even since we broke up, i eagerly await her every text.

 

 

 

Thanks for your reply though.x

 

Trust me, i know how hard it is to keep NC or maintain it. I had a bad bad breakup and my ex hung up on me just like that. I never got to tell him how hurt i feel, how i am so mad at him. In fact, today is his birthday and I am itching to call him and tell him how this two months has practically been hell for me. But I am resisting the urge, I dont want to go through ANY pain again. I know how hard it is to delete photos and stuff but you are the only one in control here. I am not discounting how much you love her and how much you care, but as they say, if you love someone, set them free. If you want to be able to move on, take baby steps on the NC and make sure you delete all travce of her. If not, its going to be a tough ride for you. I hope you help yourself x

[Ashley_SW6]

Thanks for the replies everyone. Means a lot.

I'm just going to have to have a proper crack at NC. Seems to be the only way forward now.