intherealworld Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 (edited) Recently signed up for Match, and usually when I do OLD I hide my profile from searches & such because I'd prefer to email people I'm interested in first without having to sift through 50 million unwanted emails in my inbox. Anyway, I read that I could still contact members with a hidden profile but it would show just my name & default picture. Last night, maybe around 5pm, I sent out 7 different emails to cute guys, and have heard NOTHING back! I made sure to tell them that I hid my profile so there wouldn't be any confusion if they tried to look at it. I know most of them it said they hadn't been online in days-weeks, but my top 2 cuties I messaged said they were "online now" so they def got my message. Not to sound shallow, but I consider myself very attractive, and usually on OKC and the like I get responses back within the hour. I would think most guys would be elated to have an attractive girl reach out to them first. What gives?!! Edited June 19, 2013 by intherealworld
NoMoreJerks Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Don't take it personally. Some people are just not interested. Better not waste your time and energy worrying about them. Try other people. I am sure at some point a guy that you are interested in will also be interested in you. That said, it's too time-consuming and frustrating for me, so I am definitely deactivating my profile after I go on my date tonight. I'd rather try my luck in real life, and not waste my time on virtual stuff that feels a bit odd to me anyway. 1
KatZee Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Here's a really crafty trick and fact that paid online dating sites don't want you to know. Over 93% of profiles you see are dead air. Meaning-- they've either been inactive, or they're not paid accounts so they can't see your message anyway. Why You Should Never Pay For Online Dating « OkTrends I signed up for match for a month and never had responses to anything I sent out. They also gave me really crappy matches for me and I never responded to anything anyone sent me. Huge waste of time.
MidwestUSA Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I must be missing something. Your profile is hidden but you expect replies? Help me with my confusion before I can offer advice. Thanks. 1
InsaneTrombone Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Recently signed up for Match, and usually when I do OLD I hide my profile from searches & such because I'd prefer to email people I'm interested in first without having to sift through 50 million unwanted emails in my inbox. Anyway, I read that I could still contact members with a hidden profile but it would show just my name & default picture. Last night, maybe around 5pm, I sent out 7 different emails to cute guys, and have heard NOTHING back! I made sure to tell them that I hid my profile so there wouldn't be any confusion if they tried to look at it. I know most of them it said they hadn't been online in days-weeks, but my top 2 cuties I messaged said they were "online now" so they def got my message. Not to sound shallow, but I consider myself very attractive, and usually on OKC and the like I get responses back within the hour. I would think most guys would be elated to have an attractive girl reach out to them first. What gives?!! Maybe they just didn't like you. You seem pretty arrogant already, it probably made it's way through your Match.com messages I'm guessing. That or, you're not as attractive as you think you are to these 'cuties'. Not everyone on there is looking for just attractiveness. 3
SuperGeek Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 (edited) Gosh I'm SOOOOO sorry you didn't hear anything back from your SEVEN emails you sent out yesterday. So tragic and devastating that must be for you. I hope you feel better soon. You're a spoiled brat with an inflated ego. I hope you send out 200 more and get ignored again. THIS RIGHT HERE IS WHY I HATE ONLINE DATING Sigh. Recently signed up for Match, and usually when I do OLD I hide my profile from searches & such because I'd prefer to email people I'm interested in first without having to sift through 50 million unwanted emails in my inbox. Anyway, I read that I could still contact members with a hidden profile but it would show just my name & default picture. Last night, maybe around 5pm, I sent out 7 different emails to cute guys, and have heard NOTHING back! I made sure to tell them that I hid my profile so there wouldn't be any confusion if they tried to look at it. I know most of them it said they hadn't been online in days-weeks, but my top 2 cuties I messaged said they were "online now" so they def got my message. Not to sound shallow, but I consider myself very attractive, and usually on OKC and the like I get responses back within the hour. I would think most guys would be elated to have an attractive girl reach out to them first. What gives?!! Edited June 19, 2013 by SuperGeek
Estate Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Recently signed up for Match, and usually when I do OLD I hide my profile from searches & such because I'd prefer to email people I'm interested in first without having to sift through 50 million unwanted emails in my inbox. Anyway, I read that I could still contact members with a hidden profile but it would show just my name & default picture. Last night, maybe around 5pm, I sent out 7 different emails to cute guys, and have heard NOTHING back! I made sure to tell them that I hid my profile so there wouldn't be any confusion if they tried to look at it. I know most of them it said they hadn't been online in days-weeks, but my top 2 cuties I messaged said they were "online now" so they def got my message. Not to sound shallow, but I consider myself very attractive, and usually on OKC and the like I get responses back within the hour. I would think most guys would be elated to have an attractive girl reach out to them first. What gives?!! 7 isn't a lot. They might not have read them or might not be interested. It happens. Having said that, I don't really understand how your doing the hidden profile thing. If someone did that to me I'd be unlikely to reply. It looks like one of those spam mails where some beautiful Russian girl invites you to visit her "private" profile. It rings alarm bells. Also, if someone seems real but appears to be hiding something, I just won't go for it. Look, we're all in the same boat if we're online dating, we'd all prefer not to be there and kinda hope certain people don't see your profile but what makes YOU more special that you are more important than the rest of us? Nothing! Sorry. It's also kinda shady. I don't know how many times I've seen 5 carefully chosen and cropped pictures of someone who seemed nice only to have the last one be a "natural" shot and uuuuuuugh. Girls are good at this. Mainly, if someone is being TOO guarded, it just comes across shady. Very shady, I mean there's no personal information on those sites, just the same superficial info as everyone else so you're not special thinking you are more important than the rest, it's a huge turn off. I wouldn't reply if it was me to be honest.
Imajerk17 Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 (edited) Recently signed up for Match, and usually when I do OLD I hide my profile from searches & such because I'd prefer to email people I'm interested in first without having to sift through 50 million unwanted emails in my inbox. Anyway, I read that I could still contact members with a hidden profile but it would show just my name & default picture. Last night, maybe around 5pm, I sent out 7 different emails to cute guys, and have heard NOTHING back! I made sure to tell them that I hid my profile so there wouldn't be any confusion if they tried to look at it. I know most of them it said they hadn't been online in days-weeks, but my top 2 cuties I messaged said they were "online now" so they def got my message. Not to sound shallow, but I consider myself very attractive, and usually on OKC and the like I get responses back within the hour. I would think most guys would be elated to have an attractive girl reach out to them first. What gives?!! I have a different take. I wouldn't message a woman back with a hidden profile. I'd want to be able to read her profile and check her pictures (not just one head shot) before I decide whether or not to reply, and your reasoning for hiding your profile is weak. If a GUY had a hidden profile and he wrote women, he wouldn't get any responses. You think it should be different for you because you're a woman? Lose the Princess Mentality! Edited June 19, 2013 by Imajerk17 5
salparadise Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Here's a really crafty trick and fact that paid online dating sites don't want you to know. Over 93% of profiles you see are dead air. Meaning-- they've either been inactive, or they're not paid accounts so they can't see your message anyway. I recognized this quandary and contacted customer service at Match (few years ago) and asked probing questions, beginning with peripheral aspects. I got someone's attention and started a dialog. Eventually I asked how can I know for certain who is a paid member and who is not so that I don't wast my time messaging people who cannot respond. They would never address this issue directly, and instead would answer in a way that wasn't relevant or was otherwise evasive. It is interesting to see the numbers and the evidence spelled out. I know a lot of people won't agree, but I think OKC is the best. POF can work too, but I hate it for a number of reasons.
truth_seeker Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Not to sound shallow, but I consider myself very attractive, and usually on OKC and the like I get responses back within the hour. I would think most guys would be elated to have an attractive girl reach out to them first. What gives?!! They do not think you're attractive.
Phantom888 Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I was on Match. That's where I found my love. Anyway, the green profiles are paid, and the white ones are non-paid, right? As stated above, it's not all about looks. I have been winked and emailed by so many women, and although the pictures grab my attention, I look at the full profile. I'm NOT gonna consider a woman who never attended college. I'm NOT gonna consider a woman who has a short profile description. I'm NOT gonna consider a woman who is "separated" but not divorced. Lastly, most important to me, I would NOT consider a woman who has no kids. So basically all of my requirements have higher priority than physical attractiveness.
SJC2008 Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 They can see your message and pic, but cant read your profile to see if they have anything in common with you or the rest of your pics. I'd suggest temporarily unhiding your profile when you send out messages.
SJC2008 Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Anyway, the green profiles are paid, and the white ones are non-paid, right? Unless it's changed since I used it, the green ones were highlighted profiles. A free option to help your profile stand out.
NoMoreJerks Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I was on Match. That's where I found my love. Anyway, the green profiles are paid, and the white ones are non-paid, right? No, the green ones are those that pay extra to have their profiles highlighted/featured or something. White ones don't mean non-paid. I don't think you can tell if someone is not a paid member, so there's no way of knowing whether the person you emailed received your mssg. It's a big scam to be honest. But I am guessing that someone who has their pic up probably has a profile, since who would go into all that trouble just for showcasing themselves without having any contact with other people? I've messaged two people so far on match.com , and one of them got back to me.
Casablanca Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I have a different take. I wouldn't message a woman back with a hidden profile. I'd want to be able to read her profile and check her pictures (not just one head shot) before I decide whether or not to reply, and your reasoning for hiding your profile is weak. If a GUY had a hidden profile and he wrote women, he wouldn't get any responses. You think it should be different for you because you're a woman? Lose the Princess Mentality! Also might think she is trying to cheat 1
IT Geek Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Just because you can sent them email doesn't mean they are a paying member and can reply....
InsaneTrombone Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Or better yet, try being a guy and sending 100 messages and being lucky to get 5 responses. Not attending this pity party anymore for your 7 emails lol.
curlygirl40 Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I think you need to unhide your profile if you expect responses. If your profile is hidden, not only does it look shady, but they can only see your one picture (and it's smaller from what I have heard) and almost NOTHING else about you. Why would they want to reply when they know nothing about you?
Author intherealworld Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 Here's a really crafty trick and fact that paid online dating sites don't want you to know. Over 93% of profiles you see are dead air. Meaning-- they've either been inactive, or they're not paid accounts so they can't see your message anyway. Why You Should Never Pay For Online Dating « OkTrends I signed up for match for a month and never had responses to anything I sent out. They also gave me really crappy matches for me and I never responded to anything anyone sent me. Huge waste of time. Ugh. I'm annoyed I ever paid for this , thankfully it was only $15 due to a groupon I got but still....waste of time so far :/ thanks for the info
Author intherealworld Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 Maybe they just didn't like you. You seem pretty arrogant already, it probably made it's way through your Match.com messages I'm guessing. That or, you're not as attractive as you think you are to these 'cuties'. Not everyone on there is looking for just attractiveness. Hahaha, easy now! And yeah, that's completely accurate but I guess I'm just used to the other sites like POF or OKC where all you really need to be is attractive to garner some responses. Or maybe they just weren't into me..ah well.
Author intherealworld Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 Gosh I'm SOOOOO sorry you didn't hear anything back from your SEVEN emails you sent out yesterday. So tragic and devastating that must be for you. I hope you feel better soon. You're a spoiled brat with an inflated ego. I hope you send out 200 more and get ignored again. THIS RIGHT HERE IS WHY I HATE ONLINE DATING Sigh. LOL ok ok, I deserved that, but also I'm not going to apologize for how easy it (usually) is for attractive girls to get responses from guys on dating sites Oh the curse of the being female! If I were a guy I would prob hate OLD as well. But I always reach out to guys I'm interested in I don't sit back & wait for a cute one to come along. But maybe the guys I messaged just didn't think I was all that. Oh well.
Star Gazer Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I must be missing something. Your profile is hidden but you expect replies? Help me with my confusion before I can offer advice. Thanks. This. I never respond to hidden profiles. What's the point?
Author intherealworld Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 7 isn't a lot. They might not have read them or might not be interested. It happens. Having said that, I don't really understand how your doing the hidden profile thing. If someone did that to me I'd be unlikely to reply. It looks like one of those spam mails where some beautiful Russian girl invites you to visit her "private" profile. It rings alarm bells. Also, if someone seems real but appears to be hiding something, I just won't go for it. Look, we're all in the same boat if we're online dating, we'd all prefer not to be there and kinda hope certain people don't see your profile but what makes YOU more special that you are more important than the rest of us? Nothing! Sorry. It's also kinda shady. I don't know how many times I've seen 5 carefully chosen and cropped pictures of someone who seemed nice only to have the last one be a "natural" shot and uuuuuuugh. Girls are good at this. Mainly, if someone is being TOO guarded, it just comes across shady. Very shady, I mean there's no personal information on those sites, just the same superficial info as everyone else so you're not special thinking you are more important than the rest, it's a huge turn off. I wouldn't reply if it was me to be honest. Damn, you're right. I thought about that after I sent out the messages like "maybe they think that sounds really shady" lol. Match is weird! I think people on there are way more serious than POF and OKC, seems like all it takes on there to get a response is just to be attractive. I'm accustomed to that I guess lol. But yeah, I hid my profile because I saw 2 people in my social network on there & it would be really awkward for them to see I have a profile. But...you're right, we are all in the same boat & I should just suck it up. Should I message them again with an UNhidden profile? Or will that come across psycho/stalker hahah
Author intherealworld Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 I have a different take. I wouldn't message a woman back with a hidden profile. I'd want to be able to read her profile and check her pictures (not just one head shot) before I decide whether or not to reply, and your reasoning for hiding your profile is weak. If a GUY had a hidden profile and he wrote women, he wouldn't get any responses. You think it should be different for you because you're a woman? Lose the Princess Mentality! That's true. I don't really know how Match works so I thought it might be a common thing for people to hide profiles but I guess it does look pretty shady. Do you think I should re-message with an unhidden profile or is that psycho/stalkerish lol
Author intherealworld Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 I recognized this quandary and contacted customer service at Match (few years ago) and asked probing questions, beginning with peripheral aspects. I got someone's attention and started a dialog. Eventually I asked how can I know for certain who is a paid member and who is not so that I don't wast my time messaging people who cannot respond. They would never address this issue directly, and instead would answer in a way that wasn't relevant or was otherwise evasive. It is interesting to see the numbers and the evidence spelled out. I know a lot of people won't agree, but I think OKC is the best. POF can work too, but I hate it for a number of reasons. OKC is usually the best but not sure if it's the time of year or what but there's not that many potentials on there as of late. And I think POF has actually cleaned up! I've been messaging with a couple guys from there but I don't really take that one seriously at all. And I'm not looking for a LTR/marriage right now so it doesn't bother me to talk to guys that are less serious. They removed the intimate encounters option too I think lol so at least there's that
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