ses Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 (edited) I'm writing on the behalf of a friend. I'm concerned about him and just want some advice. My friend's Spanish and has been dating a girl for 5 years. He just turned 28. I don't know his girlfriend's age but I imagine it's around the same. While relaying some bad news he told me that she is one of the most pessimistic people he knows, and that he always does his best to motivate and encourage her. He loves her and seems really committed, but it stresses him out. What concerns me is that his girlfriend is pregnant. I've never been pregnant, but I do understand that hormones really do affect a woman throughout her pregnancy. I advised him to seek counseling but he seems reluctant. He definitely doesn't want to end the relationship because she's expecting. I suppose that if I were in her position I would be upset if my boyfriend or husband left me, but I worry because the relationship sounds draining. As a child of divorced parents I'm skeptical of anyone staying together for the kids but I really admire and respect the dedication of the guy. He told me that he wanted to marry her but it was too expensive so a child was the next best option. I remember wanting to marry a guy at 21 but his constant negativity and depression eventually causes me to break it off with him. I really hope my friend seeks counseling, but what would you all suggest? Edited June 19, 2013 by ses
Els Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 He told me that he wanted to marry her but it was too expensive so a child was the next best option. A child costs less than a wedding? Are you for real? Not to mention this is all sorts of convoluted logic. "Hey, I'd love to marry you, but I can't afford to, so let's have a baby instead." Uhhh.. Yeah, that prompts me to ask again: Are you for real!??!
Author ses Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 Yeah, I didn't understand why he couldn't have a simple courthouse ceremony since he's the one that wanted it. I just feel like he's committed to the relationship solely for the child. It just doesn't sound healthy. He loves her, but children are such a big deal, and I don't think he gets it.
Els Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Well, you've given him all the advice you can. If he doesn't want to seek counseling, it's all on him.
Carenth Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 He's worried about the cost of a wedding compared to the cost of raising a child. Because a wedding is a lot cheaper than raising a child that is for sure! What planet is he living on because clearly it is not earth. 2
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