dealing with a crush on a coworker

[k717]

Okay, first let me start out by asking you to please not tell me what you think about dating coworkers. That is not what I'm asking for advice on haha. And also this is long so I'm sorry.

 

Alright, so I have a crush on one of my coworkers. I haven't really worked with this guy much (twice to be exact). However, both times we were working with other people in a group, not one on one, so I didn't talk much. I'm not good at talking to people as it is, much less in groups and to attractive guys. One day I was talking to a female coworker and his name came up and I was like "oh he's cute" and she thought that was me giving her permission to ask him if he was single and to let him know that I thought he was cute. Why would anyone do that?? That was about two weeks ago. Anyway, according to her, he said he could possibly see himself talking to me, so since then I've been extremely nervous/embarrassed around him and I freeze up every time he's near me. I noticed the day after my coworker talked to him, he came over to my area more than he normally would, so maybe he was seeing if I would talk to him since he knew I had a crush on him? Well i didn't talk to him..and i haven't been because I just don't know what to say.

 

So the other day was my second time working with him, and we were also working with another girl. Well me and the girl went on break together and we started talking about guys and she told me how her and the guy I'm crushin' on used to date...which I already knew about, but she said they dated for like 3 months and it ended a few months ago. She said she's definitely not into him as more than friends anymore, but they are really good friends now. I can't even remember how it came about anymore, but somehow she realized I had a crush on him, so we started talking about that, and I told her how hard it was for me to talk to him and she said she'd try to include me in their conversations more and help me out. She said she wouldn't say anything about our conversation to him, and we went back to work. Later we were standing around and the guy went to do something and the girl came up to me and told me she told him what we talked about! What the hell? Are other girls just this stupid or is she trying to sabotage me or what? Haha I don't understand it, it's really juvenile for one thing, and also I feel like he might think I'm creepy because two people have told him I thought he was cute now..and I've barely talked to the guy.

 

I feel like if I even had a chance to begin with, it's gone now. I also never got to ask the girl what exactly she said to him and what he said in response, so I've been wondering that for the last few days but should I even bother asking her? Or should I just let it go and try to go with the flow/act like nothing is happening?

Edited June 19, 2013 by k717

[Tinie]

Okay, first let me start out by asking you to please not tell me what you think about dating coworkers. That is not what I'm asking for advice on haha. And also this is long so I'm sorry.

 

Alright, so I have a crush on one of my coworkers. I haven't really worked with this guy much (twice to be exact). However, both times we were working with other people in a group, not one on one, so I didn't talk much. I'm not good at talking to people as it is, much less in groups and to attractive guys. One day I was talking to a female coworker and his name came up and I was like "oh he's cute" and she thought that was me giving her permission to ask him if he was single and to let him know that I thought he was cute. Why would anyone do that?? That was about two weeks ago. Anyway, according to her, he said he could possibly see himself talking to me, so since then I've been extremely nervous/embarrassed around him and I freeze up every time he's near me. I noticed the day after my coworker talked to him, he came over to my area more than he normally would, so maybe he was seeing if I would talk to him since he knew I had a crush on him? Well i didn't talk to him..and i haven't been because I just don't know what to say.

 

So the other day was my second time working with him, and we were also working with another girl. Well me and the girl went on break together and we started talking about guys and she told me how her and the guy I'm crushin' on used to date...which I already knew about, but she said they dated for like 3 months and it ended a few months ago. She said she's definitely not into him as more than friends anymore, but they are really good friends now. I can't even remember how it came about anymore, but somehow she realized I had a crush on him, so we started talking about that, and I told her how hard it was for me to talk to him and she said she'd try to include me in their conversations more and help me out. She said she wouldn't say anything about our conversation to him, and we went back to work. Later we were standing around and the guy went to do something and the girl came up to me and told me she told him what we talked about! What the hell? Are other girls just this stupid or is she trying to sabotage me or what? Haha I don't understand it, it's really juvenile for one thing, and also I feel like he might think I'm creepy because two people have told him I thought he was cute now..and I've barely talked to the guy.

 

I feel like if I even had a chance to begin with, it's gone now. I also never got to ask the girl what exactly she said to him and what he said in response, so I've been wondering that for the last few days but should I even bother asking her? Or should I just let it go and try to go with the flow/act like nothing is happening?

 

...Awkward.

 

Tbqh, your coworkers sound like they're still in highschool. A lot of petty drama.

 

If the guy is interested in you, he'll come talk to you himself. Leave it to him. He already knows you're interested thanks to your coworkers. So it's up to him to make the next move. Just go with the flow.

[k717]

...Awkward.

 

Tbqh, your coworkers sound like they're still in highschool. A lot of petty drama.

 

If the guy is interested in you, he'll come talk to you himself. Leave it to him. He already knows you're interested thanks to your coworkers. So it's up to him to make the next move. Just go with the flow.

 

I'm not sure how old the other girl is, but the one that used to date him just graduated high school haha..so yeah, I think she likes drama a little too much.

[truth_seeker]

It is not creepy to give someone a compliment.

 

You made a mistake confiding in this girl. She had a thing with him. She will not like the fact that you might hook up with him. Women can be jealous and catty creatures. She will try to sabotage it. She has already started by telling him your conversation with her.

 

He knows you like him now. I suggest you put it out there that you find someone else at work cute. This way you gain the leverage. If he thinks you just like him, he might play mind games with you. If he likes you, and feels there is competition, this will get him to act fast. Guys will move in on a girl they really like if they feel another guy might do it before them.

[ses]

Don't play games with him. Since it's out there I would continue working and see if he approaches you. If not, then there will be some awkwardness and hurt feelings but you'll be okay. Don't confide any more in your female coworker. She might make your work hell if she does have feelings for him.

[k717]

It is not creepy to give someone a compliment.

 

You made a mistake confiding in this girl. She had a thing with him. She will not like the fact that you might hook up with him. Women can be jealous and catty creatures. She will try to sabotage it. She has already started by telling him your conversation with her.

 

He knows you like him now. I suggest you put it out there that you find someone else at work cute. This way you gain the leverage. If he thinks you just like him, he might play mind games with you. If he likes you, and feels there is competition, this will get him to act fast. Guys will move in on a girl they really like if they feel another guy might do it before them.

 

Yeah, she acted like she was totally okay with it, but who knows. I don't know her well enough to know if I can really trust her yet.

 

That's a good idea..apparently he told that girl that he thought me and this other dude liked each other because we were talking a lot. Maybe that will persuade him to act. (i hope so!)