pasteurization Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I'm a little over a month into NC, and experiencing some weird fluctuations in my feelings. Some days, I feel like I am completely over with the post-breakup withdrawal---everything seems great, and I only think about my ex in the context of feeling like I could easily be just friends and wouldn't care if they were seeing someone else. Then, sometimes in the middle of the day, it will all shift drastically, and I'll be right back into the obsessive thinking about them. Is everyone else out there going through this sort of bouncing around? Does it mean that I'm getting to the end of the addiction? It is exhausting.
seahawker64 Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Welcome to the Rollercoaster. It's typical what your feeling and it sucks. Unfortunately this goes on for awhile but keep focusing on other things and try to divert your mind the minute you catch yourself falling back. Easier said than done I know. 1
Mws Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I am going through it also man, its ****ing terrible. Just got out of a 5 year relationship and this boards have helped me stay positive knowing alot of other people are going through the same thing. 1
Author pasteurization Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 I read an article about this, by a therapist who deals with the issue a lot, that most people feel a lot better by 60 days after starting NC. Has anyone else found that to be the case? I suppose most people on this forum, though, are going through it right now, so this may not be the best place to ask.... 1
Type4 Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 It took me about two months. But there are still some bad days here and there, and though I still sometimes get anxiety about it, it is not nearly as bad as it was.
mtnbiker3000 Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Yes, very common. I am in the middle of it myself. Not to be Debbie Downer, but me thinks you would be lucky if you escape with only 60 days... I am at 94 right now and it's been constant from the get go. Not sure about your RS, but I was in pretty deep with my ex, so maybe I am worse off than others, but I doubt it. Good luck and hold tight. You WILL make it IF you stay NC. Read the posts around here and you will discover what can happen if you crack... Don't crack!!
seahawker64 Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Yes, very common. I am in the middle of it myself. Not to be Debbie Downer, but me thinks you would be lucky if you escape with only 60 days... I am at 94 right now and it's been constant from the get go. Not sure about your RS, but I was in pretty deep with my ex, so maybe I am worse off than others, but I doubt it. Good luck and hold tight. You WILL make it IF you stay NC. Read the posts around here and you will discover what can happen if you crack... Don't crack!! I don't think your worse off than other's Bro. I think the intensity of the relationship has alot to do with it. I have never really told the story of our BU on here but it was after several, several years of on again off again. Marriages to other's, kids, deaths and the rest of life. This was a love affair I have had since I was in High School. I'm probably a bit older than most on here but the pain is the same. In alot of ways this was the death of a dream for me so I think your 94 days NC is normal and like you said you were in pretty deep. I expect probably sometime early next year I'll be back on track. Maybe sooner but I'm not giving myself a time restriction. I will heal when I heal. We just can't go a couple of week's and wake up and think well, I'm over it and move on. The loss has to be processed and dealt with properly and whatever that is only you know. If it take's 6 month's or a year, that's how it's gonna be.
jabbzy64 Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I know how yoy feel.... the yoyo effect. some days im great.... some days terrible. 1
Hopeinme Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 What you are experiencing is perfectly normal. There are days when I feel I am completely over him and the next day I can be bawling my head off. But it does get better. Like I read here, you just have to let te feelings flow and allow yourself to go through this. It will be okie. X
Author pasteurization Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 So weird-- I was miserable all day today obsessing on the ex, then about 8pm tonight, it evaporated suddenly and I feel great. I wish someone would do a study on the hormones or other chemicals that cause these feelings. They are certainly potent....
aloneinaz Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 I found in the first two weeks after the break up that I got "waves" of depression/anxiety and other sad feelings. It was usually worse in the morning when I got up and eased as the day went on. It was a 1.5 year relationship that included talk of living together, marriage, etc. We traveled all over the US together. The last 4 months were rocky and it finally ended. It reminded me of when I quit cigarettes. For the first couple of weeks I get frequent waves of intense need to have a cig. As time passed the distance between the waves grew and the intensity eased up. I'm at almost 3 weeks now. I've been dating now for a week. I know that relationship is DEAD. I'm really enjoying the texting, flirting, emailing and time spent in person w/these women. Am I over the ex? No, but she was such a nasty, raging *itch the last two months that it makes it much easier to mentally say to myself, rest in peace, lousy relationship. 1
theonlyjuan Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 It's also hard if you shared a lot of your hobbies with your ex. Just say you shared your favorite bands, TV shows, Movies etc It will constantly remind you of her. We had a few TV shows we watched together, but luckily she hated my music. So, at least I still have that. Also it's another reason that proves she wasn't the perfect partner for me. Find something that is only yours and do it when you feel crappy.
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