cindyloo Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 So I've been seeing a guy for about a month or 2 now and each time we are together we have a TON of physical chemistry. We have decided to take things slow sexually because I just got out of a very long relationship. However, we have both expressed very sincere and affectionate emotions for one another. Each time we do something new or go a little bit further, I want to talk about it the next day. My ex-boyfriend was very verbal and complimentary. Even though we had sex a million times in our relationship, he would always say things like "oh my god your body is so incredible. i cant stop thinking about last night. you were so sexy", etc. we always talked about our experiences and he always made me feel beautiful...like it was such a treat to be with me. and this was a long-term relationship. Now, I feel quite vulnerable being sexual with my new guy because I haven't been with anyone new in a LONG time. I always expect him to text me the next day with something like, "wow last night was incredible" but he rarely does. I usually have to be the one to bring it up. Granted, I know he is working when I text him and maybe he just doesn't want to get into all the details. When we are in person he definitely makes me feel loved. But he just doesn't bring it up that much afterwards, even though to me it's a VERY big deal each time we cross a new milestone. The other day I finally gave him oral sex and he never brought it up after that, although in the moment I could tell he really enjoyed it. And on a similar note, how often do most guys tell their girlfriend that they are beautiful? Right now he's mostly telling me that I'm "hot" or that I "look nice tonight". During the courtship phase when he was trying so hard to get me to like him, he would tell me how great he thinks we are together and how much he adores me, that he thinks I'm gorgeous and beautiful and stunning. But he hasn't used those words very much now that we are officially together. Does he not feel that way about me anymore? Or just doesn't feel like it's an everyday term?
BluEyeL Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I think you should really calm down, you are insecure. Each guy has different communication styles. Perhaps not too many will be like your ex, so verbal. Just look at what he is doing, if he keeps making dates with you, treats you nice, cares about you etc. Don't analyze "why he said I was hot, why he didn't" etc. Whatever you do, don't start nagging him about this, it's really silly and you'll drive him away. 3
shexy Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I think you should really calm down, you are insecure. Each guy has different communication styles. Perhaps not too many will be like your ex, so verbal. Just look at what he is doing, if he keeps making dates with you, treats you nice, cares about you etc. Don't analyze "why he said I was hot, why he didn't" etc. Whatever you do, don't start nagging him about this, it's really silly and you'll drive him away. Ditto..........
Author cindyloo Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 I think you should really calm down, you are insecure. Each guy has different communication styles. Perhaps not too many will be like your ex, so verbal. Just look at what he is doing, if he keeps making dates with you, treats you nice, cares about you etc. Don't analyze "why he said I was hot, why he didn't" etc. Whatever you do, don't start nagging him about this, it's really silly and you'll drive him away. Thanks, it's hard for me not to... but I think I am insecure like you said.
Lani Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Comparing a new boyfriends behavior to that of your ex is a recipe for disaster. The end. 2
Author cindyloo Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 Comparing a new boyfriends behavior to that of your ex is a recipe for disaster. The end. whys that? all we have are our experiences... how can you not compare?
Lani Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 whys that? all we have are our experiences... how can you not compare? Because new guy is not your ex. There is a reason you're not in a relationship with the ex anymore, and why you are now with this guy. You can't compare that behaviour and be irritated/upset by it because it's just not the way he is. They are different people, and that's a good thing. Look at how early in your relationship you're questioning things because of something a previous boyfriend did. It's not healthy. Look at the good parts of this new guy that your ex didn't have, and hold onto those.
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