travelguy Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 So how many dates does it take before you have the "where are we" or how do we feel about each other conversation , I've been dating this girl we've been out twice were taking it slow. I eventually want to know how she feels and she is the shy type and i don't think she would bring it up. I don't know how i feel about her yet shes fun and we've been texting a lot. The first time we went out sometimes it was hard to keep the conversation going but tonight it wasn't like that at all. She is younger then me and i really want to take it slow this time. any tips of advice would be great
shexy Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 IMO, two dates is way too quick to have any kind of a "where are we talk". What's the rush? 1
Keenly Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I wouldn't ever have that conversation. If I keep asking her out, it means I like her, and if she keeps saying yes, it means she likes me. Probably after the fourth or fifth date I will ask her to be exclusive.
Author travelguy Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 I think people are completely misunderstanding my question. First i think people decide to be in a relationship way before 2-3 months. I just just curious how may dates the average it was before you decide on a relationship. I don't know how i feel and if were not both on the same page why keep going. I was also thinking 3-4 dates. i apologize if i'm not expressing myself right. its been a long day.
Author travelguy Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 (edited) I'm not eager i'm just asking when the appropriate time would be. I'm not trying to pull any crap actually. I don't know why your jumping on me. i asked a simple question when is it ok to do , so i don't do it too soon thats all. I'm not trying to have any one be mine actually. I don't want to get to go to fast actually i want to take it slow. I am never one to go to fast!!! Edited June 19, 2013 by travelguy
shexy Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Well, we all said it takes a lot more than 2 dates, but I guess you didn't like our answers. Two dates is too fast to decide relationship status. Unless you're like 13. 3
Author travelguy Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 I did like you answer and i've accepted it. I now totally agree it does take more then two dates, thats why i asked so i could find out. Sex is not even on the table , it the last thing from my mind. It takes way more then 2 days for that. Try 20 or 30, for actually me it a committed relationship.
veggirl Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 A month and a half is when bf and I had the what are we talk. 2 dates is waaaaaaay too soon. Like way too soon. You barely know her. Slow your roll and get to know her. You CAN'T know someone well enough after TWO dates to know you want her as your gf.
Balzac Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Okay you're able to clearly articulate your position. I'd tell you dating is about joyful fun and shared time. Anything that doesn't flow is a reason to next. I'm guessing you don't "multidate"?
aussietigerwolf Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 for us it was the 3rd date but we'd spent a lot of time together between those dates.
Author travelguy Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 thank you everyone for your feedback we've been communicating a lot in between dates too by text! so we'll see what happes no i am not one to multi-date . Unless its agreed upon and talked about upfront i don't think its really fair to do that .
RedRobin Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 For me it is about 2 months, sometimes a little more. A date a week at a minimum... Maybe 2 dates a week on those weeks a guy doesn't have his kids (most of the men I meet do have kids).... that means 10-20 instances we are spending personal time together plus time on the phone, email, etc. I don't multi-date and I don't have sex unless I'm in a relationship. If I'm spending time with a man and there is any romantic discussion at all, it is because I'm considering a relationship with him.
Cutiepie1976 Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Every couple is different, and the dynamic is certainly different each time. For me, if we discuss exclusivity, the guy has typically brought it up somewhere between the third and sixth dates. We've spent a lot of time together by then, and talked (not texted) for hours.
amaysngrace Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Four dates is the magic one. If you don't talk about it by then you're friended.
SuperGeek Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I won't put out until the 8th date. Women need to respect us men and not treat us like sex objects. 1
cindyloo Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I'd say about a month. But it should be clear from the beginning that you are interested 1
SoulSoldier Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 For some people 2-3 months is a reasonable amount of time. For others, they know after significantly less time. For me, personally, I usually know after 3-4 dates whether or not I can see myself in a relationship with that person. Usually that's within 2-3 weeks of dating, sometimes more. Point is, it's different for everyone. There's no hard rule. I don't believe it would hurt to have an open, honest talk with the girl you're seeing to see how she feels about things.
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