Febreze Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 We just started dating in April but he's already doing little irksome things to get on my nerves! For ex, he said my cooking lacks the skills necessary to be a chef because I don't have the touch. Wth is he talking about?! My mom always taught me that its about the ingredients that u put into the foods but he says its about the touch of how the ingredients are used and a man only knows what this means Another ex, when we go out he drives and he knows how to get anywhere so I really have no clue how he does this w/o using a gps for help. He started putting me down because I need to use the gps if I never been to a specific spot before just like a normal person but he insists that I just don't know how to follow road directions like a typical woman I don't understand! If I never heard of a certain address I'm gonna need to either look it up or put my gps on. He never ever uses anything and he can find any location once he gets the address. He never gotten lost when I was with him so that does make me jealous because I don't know what it is that makes him know these things. I hated to ask him but I did anyway and he tells me only men have the ability. Most annoying ex here for u Loveshack people is when I try to talk about a topic with him and he accuses me of talking in circles like a typical woman and we never say what we mean. This is so wrong in so many ways I cant even begin to explain Other than these gripes I feel really safe with him. He's a few years older than me (38 & 36) and he doesn't mind footing the bill most of the time but he aggravates me by making me feel like I'm beneath him and I don't know how to catch up
shexy Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 He sounds like kind of a dooooshbag....no offense, but why are you putting up with that? Just because he pays for stuff doesn't give him the right to treat you like crap.
NoMoreJerks Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Sounds like a passive-aggressive douchebag. Why are you with him at this point? My ex was a douchebag who constantly made remarks about me, about my behaviour, what I said, or did. He even started doing it in public and embarrassed me a few times in front of people. Got to the point where he nearly yelled at me and told me to shut up. Never put up with anyone who does not have sufficient respect for you. This guy does not like or love you. No way anyone who likes or loves you would treat you like that. I would tell him to just p*ss off and go find a non-typical woman. Or better, to go f*ck himself, since he does not like what typical women do or say. 4
Balzac Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Other than these gripes I feel really safe with him. he's already doing little irksome things to get on my nerves! Honestly you are minimizing his personality flaws. You are a willing victim. Can you see the problem? 2
NoMoreJerks Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 My ex also constantly made remarks about women being this or that, etc. This happened as early as my second time hanging out with him. In retrospect, it was ONE BIG F*CKING RED FLAG I shouldn't have ignored. RUN away from this guy as fast as possible. 5
Keenly Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 HOW is he saying this. It sounds to me like he is trying to be playful and he wants you to hit back with something witty .
shexy Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 HOW is he saying this. It sounds to me like he is trying to be playful and he wants you to hit back with something witty . If that's playful, I'd hate to see what he says to her if he's in a bad mood. 8
Balzac Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 So because you're 36 it's fine with you that he's aggressively insulting and dismissive as long as he's paying the tab? Hmmm. Quid Pro Quo? IF that's the arrangement I'm hoping you're charging for sexual favors w add on for the verbal degradation. 1
NoMoreJerks Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 HOW is he saying this. It sounds to me like he is trying to be playful and he wants you to hit back with something witty . There is a massive difference between playful and passive aggressive/misogynistic. This is hardly sarcasm/playfulness. It's pure hatred and passive aggressiveness. Been there, been on the receiving end of it. Trust me, it is not sarcasm/humour/wittiness. I've hit back when my ex said that sorta stuff (it even got to the point where he'd call me a whore), and he immediately retracted his comment, claimed it was a joke, etc. But see, I decided to turn a blind eye and believe it, but it kept happening. Nope, it was never a joke. And even if it was, I'd expect a guy to drop it when I express displeasure at his disrespect.
NoMoreJerks Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I would understand if this took place in the context of a conversation about, for example, a Discovery Channel program that talked about the differences in women's perceptions of space/direction vs. men not being so good at logical stuff, etc. My date and I were talking about that sort of stuff on our date last week, and it was a very respectful, interesting conversation. He was never disrespectful, passive aggressive, etc. I even made the joke, while we were leaving the restaurant and I couldn't orient myself to the exit, that "see? they had it right, us women don't have as good a sense of direction as men!" It was all in good fun. But there is a huge difference between that sort of scenario and someone dryly observing that you're being a "typical woman" because you have to use the GPS.
veggirl Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 This will only get worse, much worse. Straight up, being annoyed with someone only 2 mos in means he's not who you should be with. I mean 2 mos....it should be fun and butterflies and nothing negative. This is NOT how the love of your life will start out. Dating should be relaxed and easy and comfortable. There are hard times yes but they should be circumstantial....ie job loss, illness, etc. they shouldn't be personality derived. You know? 3
aussietigerwolf Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 there's a big difference... my ex did this crap and it only gets worse. run, run far from this guy. 2
RedRobin Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I agree with the other posters. People who call names or cut you down, no matter how they do it, aren't to be trusted with your emotional well-being. Politely send this one on his way... 1
Carenth Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 (edited) Um.. why are you with someone who outright disrespects you in many aspects? You deserve someone who treats you a lot better. In fact this guy sounds like a complete tool, trying to control you by making you question your worth. On a side note this guy sounds like a sexist pig to boot. Answer is you are worth a lot more than this guy. It will only get worse if he is showing this sort of behavior after a few months, massive red flags. Get out now! Edited June 19, 2013 by Carenth 1
Enema Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Sounds like he hates women but likes their vaginas. 3
Moonless sky Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 He isn't your "prince charming" and you know it. Don't continue a relationship with this guy. You really need to get out before you're in too deep and it's even harder to deal with and harder to leave the situation. If you really don't want to leave though, you should seriously consider having a very long conversation with him and see how he reacts. If he doesn't consider your feelings then he needs to go, I'm sorry, I know it's so hard but at least you have not been with him even longer. -Mel 2
Author Febreze Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 Sounds like a passive-aggressive douchebag. Why are you with him at this point? My ex was a douchebag who constantly made remarks about me, about my behaviour, what I said, or did. He even started doing it in public and embarrassed me a few times in front of people. Got to the point where he nearly yelled at me and told me to shut up. Never put up with anyone who does not have sufficient respect for you. This guy does not like or love you. No way anyone who likes or loves you would treat you like that. I would tell him to just p*ss off and go find a non-typical woman. Or better, to go f*ck himself, since he does not like what typical women do or say. Thanks but I figured he was just being a typical jock since he used to play for a football team in college so his mentality holds strong. Like I said I feel safe around him, like no one can bother us, and I haven't had this feeling in such a long while My sister says I have to either deal with it or take a a worse-off jerk or a guy that's so nice its boring.
NYC-BigKat Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 We just started dating in April but he's already doing little irksome things to get on my nerves! For ex, he said my cooking lacks the skills necessary to be a chef because I don't have the touch. Wth is he talking about?! My mom always taught me that its about the ingredients that u put into the foods but he says its about the touch of how the ingredients are used and a man only knows what this means Another ex, when we go out he drives and he knows how to get anywhere so I really have no clue how he does this w/o using a gps for help. He started putting me down because I need to use the gps if I never been to a specific spot before just like a normal person but he insists that I just don't know how to follow road directions like a typical woman I don't understand! If I never heard of a certain address I'm gonna need to either look it up or put my gps on. He never ever uses anything and he can find any location once he gets the address. He never gotten lost when I was with him so that does make me jealous because I don't know what it is that makes him know these things. I hated to ask him but I did anyway and he tells me only men have the ability. Most annoying ex here for u Loveshack people is when I try to talk about a topic with him and he accuses me of talking in circles like a typical woman and we never say what we mean. This is so wrong in so many ways I cant even begin to explain Other than these gripes I feel really safe with him. He's a few years older than me (38 & 36) and he doesn't mind footing the bill most of the time but he aggravates me by making me feel like I'm beneath him and I don't know how to catch up Yup he thinks he's better than u sorry. But its kinda weird how he always knows how to find locations without using gps & stuff. I always wondered how some guys can do that & never got any explanations u know .
Carenth Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 (edited) So you like being with someone who basically hates you because of your gender? I have no idea why you would feel safe around someone who is so openly hostile towards you and it will only get worse. A healthy relationship is not one where one party is outright rude and disrespectful. Do you honestly think you don't deserve someone who treats you better? Is your sense of self worth that low is basically what I'm asking. Edited June 19, 2013 by Carenth
Els Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Two questions: 1) How are you meeting these men? 2) Why did you last more than a day with them? 3) Do you live under a bridge? Okay, fine, three.
Balzac Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Thanks but I figured he was just being a typical jock since he used to play for a football team in college so his mentality holds strong. College was 20 lifetimes ago for him. Firstly your attitude about men who played college sports pretty much equals his attitude about women. You're apparently comfortable because this guy and the dynamic are familiar to you. Was your dad a college sports turned social jerk?
NoMoreJerks Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Thanks but I figured he was just being a typical jock since he used to play for a football team in college so his mentality holds strong. Like I said I feel safe around him, like no one can bother us, and I haven't had this feeling in such a long while My sister says I have to either deal with it or take a a worse-off jerk or a guy that's so nice its boring. So it's all or nothing, eh? You (and your sister) think you can't do better than this guy? That's kinda insulting, if someone said that to me.. You must have low self-esteem. I know I used to, that's why I stayed with my abusive ex (who regularly made comments like your bf does -- and it got worse). I couldn't imagine any other man liking me, who wasn't boring, worse than him, or whatever..
Emilia Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 My sister says I have to either deal with it or take a a worse-off jerk or a guy that's so nice its boring. Don't go to your sister for advice, she is either very young and isn't very bright. 6
Author Febreze Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 So you like being with someone who basically hates you because of your gender? I have no idea why you would feel safe around someone who is so openly hostile towards you and it will only get worse. A healthy relationship is not one where one party is outright rude and disrespectful. Do you honestly think you don't deserve someone who treats you better? Is your sense of self worth that low is basically what I'm asking. You're really not helpful are u? Who said anything about him hating me? He irritates me with these ways but its really not that serious. Maybe I'm just fussing like my sister says
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