Lovely Kinkz_13 Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 It ended the way I planned. Me, in tears, regretting that I even made the phone call. Its been one year since the BU and I'm still not over him. I blame it on my "loving too hard" complex. We dated for three years and I gave him my virginity.(he gave me his too btw). When we talked he treated me as though he didn't care how I felt. However, he did admit that he was selfish... but liked being that way! He told me to never call again. (Even though this is my first time contacting him in 6 months!) Its really hard not talking to him. Lol if it makes any sense, he was like a drug... or maybe love is the drug. Psssht who knows?! I do know that h dumped me cold turkey, and I'm experiencing ex-bf withdrawls lol! I've read a lot of the forums about BU, but they all seem to say the same things. Can you all share some "solid" advice for moving on? Please don't just say NC. I know that's the best way, but I need more solutions!
Sneaky Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I'm sorry, I don't have much advice myself and what I have might not be what you want to hear, but I sympathize and wanted to comment. Anyway I just wanted to say that it's okay and that you should not feel guilty, you can just start again knowing what you know now. Nothing good happens when you break NC anyway, right? So now you know. As for solid advice, the things metal_chick listed all sound about right. Fill your time. Personally, I'm also watching a bucket load of shows and reading tons to keep busy. The blocking thing is also a good idea. I just got rid of all links to the social media we shared altogether so there's no temptation to just go and have a look on how my ex is. Also venting here is a huge help. Instead of breaking no contact, write down what you want to say here or in a journal. That's what I'm doing atm. 1
LovelyDaze Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Can you all share some "solid" advice for moving on? Please don't just say NC. I know that's the best way, but I need more solutions! Besides NC, you should definitely put things in perspective. You really have to think about how realistic it is to get any kind of positive reponse/outcome from your ex. Do you hope you can talk him back into reconciling? Do you believe that if he just talks with you, he will realize what he is missing? Do you think that by staying in contact with him creates a good foundation to have an even better relationship with him? Don't think of what you HOPE can occur, think of what things really are. When you do break NC and continue to pop in on an ex that left you, only YOU seem desperate and a person who lacks self esteem. Some exes will humor the dumpee as a way of feeling great(a.k.a MAJOR ego boost) about themselves, not love. Other exes see the dumpee as pathetic and even less desirable than before. I know hearing No Contact seems tedious here on LS but it is a fact that has saved MANY of us and got us out of the dark. Remember how this last time breaking NC has hurt you. You are only ripping off a bandage that needs to stay on to heal. Get back on the road to healing by putting a realistic outcome in your mind of what your ex wants from you. Does your ex want you back? What evidence support that?......exactly.
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