Egychick Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I think you all have read my posts about an emotionally abusive relationship I was in. Well, we broke up 2 months ago, but some how kept in touch. He apologized, begged for my forgiveness, gave me flowers, agreed to being friends to give me room to decide whether or not I would take him back, and he prayed to God to let me come back to him. Well, because of my traditional values...one of the reasons I held back from getting back together, is because of my mother not giving her blessings for us to get married. My mother is already ill and has health problems, so the last think I wanted to do was get back together with him after she was so upset with what he did. I didn't want to hurt her and break her heart...she has been so worried. But I told her I was at peace and had forgiven him. The 2nd reason I held back was because he lacked consistencey. Half the time he would be sweet and loving and I started to fall in love again with him and started to see him making changes. Then he would completely flip the script into this cold uncaring person. I know I shouldn't have dragged it on...but I honestly thought, after time, I'd see something different. Today, he finally decided it is over for good. He does't care about my side. He says my issues and stuff don't concern him or worry him anymore. After all, so he says, I've done nothing...no sacrifice. He has done all the sacrifice. He has forgotten all I have done after the break up, such as getting his video together for football agents. I sat for hours doing that video. I've been kind to him in the way of never being rude. I know, like i said, I shouldn't have dragged it on. But my gut feeling told me to wait...something held me back from going back to him right away. On the phone tonight, he went on a tirade and told me I shouldn't be concerned whether he sleeps with 5, 15, or 100 girls. And He wants a woman who will abandon everything....even he country to be with him in Africa. Even if it means suffering. As other people have done it, and gave up everything. He basically is saying, I'm too spoiled and I need modern appliances and machines. That I don't know how to suffer. What is going on?! Why do I feel love for someone like this? How did he have such an emotional hold on me? Am I wrong? Is he right? Why am I grieving so much? Why do I feel so much in pain like I will never find another guy? He told me if I think there are other guys who are perfect and won't get angry and insult me, then I'm mistaken. If I'm with him, I have to accept thats how he is and know he loves me, no matter how much he would say terrible things to me. He accused me of lying, when he lied about cheating on me. He can be this sweet and kind guy in public, and someone else in private. One minute he is loving, next minute, he is ready to walk out the door. It was an emotional roller coaster. Are there good guys out there who won't act like that? Am I too unrealistic with my expectations? Feeling so ooo bad and lost right now.
It's Just Me Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 He told me if I think there are other guys who are perfect and won't get angry and insult me, then I'm mistaken. No, he's mistaken. Let him go to Africa and abuse women other than yourself. Give yourself time to reflect on why you would actually think he was right. From where I stand, your self-respect needs a boost. Go to it, girl. And never let any other man treat you that way. You sound like a thoughtful person, and you deserve far, far better than this guy. 1
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