twix77 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 I just found that my boyfriend of 7 years has been cheating on me.... He said it started two weeks ago the pain that I am going through right now is unbearable... What did I do wrong I did nothing but what he wanted in this relationship... It has only been four days since I found out but I went to him to say goodbye and he told me that he would get rid of this girl just give him a couple of days....He says that he is very sorry that he broke my heart and that he loves me.... I don't honestly know what to do I am very confused as to let him into my life again with the untrust that I have now for him or give him a chance this is the first time that he has done it.... I also don't like the fact that I don't know what he is doing if he is really going to break it off or not... And that he might do it again.... I know I love this guy and can't imagine him being with another woman but don't want to be a fool at the same time
Balzac Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Welcome to LS. Mind sharing how you found out? What age you are? "Give him a few days"??? That's a good one! 2
Author twix77 Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 He was acting like a real jerk so I asked him if he was with another girl he said yes.... 1
Toddbt12y1 Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Please don't take this as cruel. But. He doesn't deserve a second chance. Only for one reason. "give him a couple of days" No. If he was serious. If he wanted it over, and only you. It would have been over then and there. Him keeping you in the shadows? Another bad sign. This isn't worth this...if he is taking his time and keeping you in the dark. You may have been very good to him. I don't doubt it. Nothing you've done...forced him to cheat. You can only be you...and treat him only so well. He chose this. He was selfish. Now...you suffer for this. He still isn't caring. You don't take "days" it's over then and there... You deserve better. Don't let anyone twist this into being what you've done or didn't do. His fault. 5
imfine Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 The trust is gone, you are reeling in pain & he's asking YOU to understand he needs time. There's no love, concern or respect in his actions. He's just sorry he got caught. Love & respect yourself by letting go & never second guessing yourself. I'm so sorry. 2
Tinie Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 he told me that he would get rid of this girl just give him a couple of days....He says that he is very sorry that he broke my heart and that he loves me.... What a bunch of baloney. A couple of days? Huh? For what? So he can spend a few more days phukking his fill of that other girl before he gets rid of her? Uh huh. He loves you? He made a conscious choice to cheat. When last I checked, that's not love. 2
Author twix77 Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 What a bunch of baloney. A couple of days? Huh? For what? So he can spend a few more days phukking his fill of that other girl before he gets rid of her? Uh huh. He loves you? He made a conscious choice to cheat. When last I checked, that's not love. I hope that is not what he is doing I think he just needed some time to figure out how to get rid of her
Author twix77 Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 Please don't take this as cruel. But. He doesn't deserve a second chance. Only for one reason. "give him a couple of days" No. If he was serious. If he wanted it over, and only you. It would have been over then and there. Him keeping you in the shadows? Another bad sign. This isn't worth this...if he is taking his time and keeping you in the dark. You may have been very good to him. I don't doubt it. Nothing you've done...forced him to cheat. You can only be you...and treat him only so well. He chose this. He was selfish. Now...you suffer for this. He still isn't caring. You don't take "days" it's over then and there... You deserve better. Don't let anyone twist this into being what you've done or didn't do. His fault. Thankyou it has been over and over in my head that I did something wrong it was my fault
Toddbt12y1 Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Thankyou it has been over and over in my head that I did something wrong it was my fault Well it isn't. Cheating serves to break those cheated on down to such an emotional extent that you(coupled with what the cheater or others may say) believe that you messed up. Just don't buy that noise. You're great. Your hands are clean...he is filthy. Best you could do for yourself...is move on and do those things which you enjoy. Your time. Be selfish and do things that makes you feel great. he's gonna be the loser...you only win in the end. You'll meet better.
Tinie Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 I hope that is not what he is doing I think he just needed some time to figure out how to get rid of her Wow. He must be that stupid to need "a couple days" to get rid of a girl.
reardear Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 How do you know it really only started two weeks ago? 1
Author twix77 Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 How do you know it really only started two weeks ago? That is all I have evidence on by his word of mouth 1
2sunny Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 It takes a 5 second phone call to end it. He needs help to find out the reason why he cheated - and time to do the hard work to become a decent person that won't consider cheating again. Step away while he does the necessary work...otherwise you're just staying with a guy that will cheat again.
2sunny Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 7 years and 35 years old? Is there a specific reason you two haven't yet married? 1
SweetiePie12 Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 I just found that my boyfriend of 7 years has been cheating on me.... He said it started two weeks ago the pain that I am going through right now is unbearable... What did I do wrong I did nothing but what he wanted in this relationship... It has only been four days since I found out but I went to him to say goodbye and he told me that he would get rid of this girl just give him a couple of days.... How did you find out? And, it only takes 2 seconds to break up with someone. Why does he need a couple of days? Do you really believe he's only known this girl for 2 weeks? He says that he is very sorry that he broke my heart and that he loves me.... I don't honestly know what to do I am very confused as to let him into my life again with the untrust that I have now for him or give him a chance this is the first time that he has done it.... ...that you know of. Sorry you're in pain. It's not your fault. It's a decision he made.
SweetiePie12 Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 After 7 years, if he's still only your 'boyfriend,' then he doesn't seem to want to take your relationship to the next level Thank you! I've been seeing someone for over a year, he's been seeing someone else for 5 years and says he will marry her. I'll believe it when I see it.
SweetiePie12 Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 7 years and 35 years old? Is there a specific reason you two haven't yet married? I have a feeling they are living together out of wedlock...?
Author twix77 Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 I have a feeling they are living together out of wedlock...? No we aren't living together we tried that and it only lasted a month 1
Author twix77 Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 7 years and 35 years old? Is there a specific reason you two haven't yet married? We were engaged and ready to get married at one point just money situation and being scared
Author twix77 Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 It takes a 5 second phone call to end it. He needs help to find out the reason why he cheated - and time to do the hard work to become a decent person that won't consider cheating again. Step away while he does the necessary work...otherwise you're just staying with a guy that will cheat again. I know I wish he would have just done that but I guess he just didn't have the guts enough to do it...
SweetiePie12 Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 No we aren't living together we tried that and it only lasted a month Oh, no, honey, so why are you dating him? Is this exclusive (on your part)? If you can't live with him, there's no hope for marriage, so why not see other guys? How did you two manage to live together for just one month by the way (and I'm not judging, because I have been there; a terribly tumultuous situation that is thankfully far behind for me, so please take care!)...
Author twix77 Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 Oh, no, honey, so why are you dating him? Is this exclusive (on your part)? If you can't live with him, there's no hope for marriage, so why not see other guys? How did you two manage to live together for just one month by the way (and I'm not judging, because I have been there; a terribly tumultuous situation that is thankfully far behind for me, so please take care!)... I was dating him because even after all his mistakes he would come back and say sorry and I would take him back.... I am a one man's woman (look where that got me) We lived with each other for one month got into an argument and he left I was devistated for that one too but he came back and I thought we were going to be at that point again but it never happened...
SweetiePie12 Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 We lived with each other for one month got into an argument and he left Let me guess: did he pick the fight? Some cowards will use that at a tactic/cover up for going somewhere else... I think you deserve someone who will make you happy, smile, and laugh. Only tears of joy... Keep your options open.
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