postivityisthekey1 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Hi, I'm new to this but up awake now and this has to be the final time as I'm fed up lol! I came out of a 11 year relationship, I'm 28 and I mum of 2. My ex and I had not lived each other for a long time and stupidly when we broke I jumped in 3 months after ( poss rebound at the time). I started dating a guy for only 1.5 months. However it did seem intense! We would date in weekends and have regular contact everyday. He would take me to meet his friends and his dad is very popular, he also introduced me to him.... Not boasting but I am slim, bubbly and attractive, so at the time I did feel as though I was being shown off! I must be honest, I loved the attention. He kept saying he didn't want to rush things with me as things will mess up. Then on the other hand, he rushed! Weird! He then kept blowing hot and cold so I told him he didn't seem interested anymore and he instantly asked for some space, " to see how we feel about each other". I wasn't happy about this as he was pushy at first, then put this in me! He sent me "via text" a message saying he didn't know what he wanted anymore, but didn't want to string me along... Me being naive, I told him we could stay friends... Since, I can't help obsessing over his Facebook etc... I'm going my own head in! So I decide enough is enough and do t email etc... Then about 5 days of moving on, he text me asking how I am ???? I am excited he has asked but cheesed off as I'm trying to be alone and eventually date someone else....this had happened a few times now! So tonight I decided to block him on Facebook so he can no longer contact me...( I'm guessing for his ego boost or his guilt ) then I can get on win my life... Have I done the right thing? What if he text me a different way? Should I ignore him? I'm knew to dating, after being in the 11 year relationship and would be grateful for advice! Many thanks xxx
scorpio1978 Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Too many hot and cold moments very early on. Sounds like a bit too much too soon with the intensity and I say "quick to burn, quick to fizzle". You did nothing wrong, I just think this guy isn't all in and you deserve that. Do not allow him to come in and out of your life like this. You make yourself look too accessible and therefore less desirable. What is lacking here in him is just that- desire. Blocking him on FB is a great start and unless he comes at you full force with a "I want you back" or "I want to make this work", he is just throwing you what we on this forum love to call "breadcrumbs". He texted asking you how you were but nothing about wanting to see you or telling you how he really feels. men might not be overly lovey dovey in most cases, but he should know how to make a woman feel wanted and I don't get the vibe he is doing that at all. Move on and ignore everything until he is 100% in. 1
inaya42 Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 the tricky thing about dating is that people do it for a number of reasons, mainly for fun, companionship, sex, excitement, energy and ego boosts. not everyone is looking for an actual relationship, and some lie and say that they are just to get this other stuff quickly, easily. this guy sounds like he was in it for fun and then backed out when it was clear that you might expect it to build into more. he's being polite and keeping the door open through the communication. it sounds like you like him too much to play, so NC and move on. I'm sorry you're disappointed, and I hope this helps! 1
Author postivityisthekey1 Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 Thank you for taking the time to reply.... However today my mind has been less focused on this situation, but its still ther... Arrrrghhhhh! I took another step this evening and emailed him. I told him that I'm nor longer friends on FB with him, I've moved on and feel wen we talk its dragging me down... I apologise and wished his future luck... He immediately responded (as he was active online) and said.... You don't have to do that! Thought we are friends? Your just blocking it out! You will prob see me again or hear about me... But it's your choice... Hope your happy... I wasn't tempted to get personal back with him and told him its for the best... Also added the .... It's not you it's me! Take care... He just said " you too"... Can anyone explain the message he sent me? It feels like he is trying to manipulate me into still picking up the bread crumbs.... Or he cud just be, being nice? Hmmmmm.... I already feel that I can really move on now, without him contacting me anymore.... xxx
inaya42 Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 i think he was surprised that you decided to go NC because it was a fairly brief dating period, and he was likely surprised that you felt you needed to actually move on. still, you wished him well. he wished you the same. it's done. block him and never revisit this...
Author postivityisthekey1 Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 That's exactly wot I'm doing... Like I said I'm New to dating lol! I think the words.... Your blocking it out and you will see or hear about me again.... Made me confused... Prob reading too much into it. Thanks x
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