jkepler85 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 So, a little background, I met this girl a month ago. We've had a bit of a whirlwind romance. She's smart, funny, beautiful, mature, has a good career, stable family, doesn't seem to have any mental issues. I feel like I've known her for 6 months and I mean that in a good way. I brought up that we'd known each other for a month and she was surprised, "Really, that's all?!?" So, the other night we are laying in bed and she says, I need to tell you something. I say, well go ahead I'm listening. She tells me that she had a sham marriage to try and get a visa for a distant relative that was really poor. This was slightly concerning but she noted that she was working on getting everything squared up legal-wise. So this I feel I can roll with, trying to help her family, I can understand that. More concerning is an issue related to her ex-bf. So ex-bf cheated on his fiance with her, but she didn't know about this fiance, because fiance was doing residency in another state. The finance finds out about the affair and lets her know about it. Presumably that was the end of it. So my girl is in residency, but now the ex-bf is her boss essentially as he took a staff position here. So for the next 2 years she works with her ex-bf everyday. Needless to say it makes me a little uncomfortable, especially because ex-bf is also pretty handsome and rich. So yeah, everything seems to be going fine, but I'm a little concerned about whether things are truly over between them or if I'm just a rebound guy. I've been burned by girls pretty bad in the past and I don't want to project that on her, it just seems like the situation is set up for temptation. Am I crazy to be worried about this or is this something that would make a normal person uncomfortable? Any suggestions about things to talk about or anything?
Phantom888 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 That is a tough situation. If you are serious about this girl, try to find out if there is any possibility she might want to go back to that bastard dude. That guy is obviously an ass, so if she is attracted to asswipes, then she doesn't deserve your feelings. I don't think it's a big concern if she is completely over this bastard. Only you can investigate and determine this. 1
GB25 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 damn that sucks say bye bye to her just kidding...but seriously you should have a talk with her and let her know that this concerns you and tell her to be honest about her feelings towards the ex I hope it works out, i dont think id be able to handle it tho i would be way to paranoid..
Ami1uwant Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 She seems intelligent. You have to trust her that she can act professional and work with her ex bf as her superviosr. there are professional ethics in this so he would be career stupid to even think about having an affair with her. This is also something that should be fully disclosed to the evaluation board of their past.
juicygirl Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 I dunno dude if red flags are going up for you don't ignore them. Normally what happens is we ignore the warning signs due to lust and excitement until it's too last and we get burnt. Don't write her off just yet, but try and find out a bit more about the situation and if it sounds too fishy run.
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