General, random question about Men

[vanhalenfan]

In your experience or opinion, do you think men can be rather clueless as to when a woman is interested in them (when she isn't 'very' outwardly expressive, but just enough to perhaps get the point across in a subtle manner)? Do you think older men are less clueless than the younger man?

 

Just curious as to what you think...

[sillyanswer]

Yes, and yes.

 

To extend the generalisation even further, I'd say that men can be rather clueless.

 

[Hoops]

In your experience or opinion, do you think men can be rather clueless as to when a woman is interested in them (when she isn't 'very' outwardly expressive, but just enough to perhaps get the point across in a subtle manner)? Do you think older men are less clueless than the younger man?

 

Just curious as to what you think...

 

Some women give you a sexy smile. But then you try and flirt back and get nothing. Then there are other women who just dont seem to want to let you know they like you?? I have always found it very confusing.

I remember when I was 27 I was working with a girl I thought was fun. Worked there 2years. During my leaving party she waited till most people had gone home to tell me how completely into me she had been. Go figure.

I dont think I am any more able to tell now, than I was 10 years ago. Although I do keep an eye out for women playing with their hair - I read that somewhere.

[ltjg45]

In your experience or opinion, do you think men can be rather clueless as to when a woman is interested in them (when she isn't 'very' outwardly expressive, but just enough to perhaps get the point across in a subtle manner)?

 

Oh, yeah. I am definitely clueless in that regard.

 

Sometimes when I think I see a strong interest, it was her just playing around. Any other time, I get a "meh" feeling and then find out later she wanted me.

 

This is why I came to the conclusion that if you are really interested, make it painfully obvious. I can't read these subtle signs even if I wanted to since it means so much different from one woman to the next.

 

Do you think older men are less clueless than the younger man?

 

I would think older men would have more dating experience on average so they can read these signs even better than younger guys but that doesn't mean he can read them all perfectly.

 

Women is too much in the air when it comes to interest. I could walk past a women who has a straight, uninterested face and she would be the one most interested in me and yet I can just walk pass a woman that has smiled at me since I first saw her and then find out that is just her positive personality.

 

Men in general can't win at these mind games.

[Southern Cal Dude]

Men as a whole are usually clueless and it's throw no fault of their own. I work as a bartender. I see this regularly. A woman can be all flirty and turns out she's just flirty. Or I'll see a woman sitting with a friend acting aloof and monotone and the friend will whisper to her, "Why didn't he come over?" Because you acted aloof, that's why.

 

There's no universal sign because all women are different and flirting doesn't automatically equal interest.

[Sunlight72]

Yes, and somewhat yes.

 

Particularly men who are respectful and more interested in a relationship than a fling.

 

I'd not been able to guess in the least the difference between a polite woman, a friendly woman, a naturally flirty woman, and a woman who is interested in me romantically or physically. When I was about 37 a woman friend of mine said, "if a woman looks at you as she walks by, she would be happy to sleep with you".

 

It was exagerated and simplified, and of course it still means I'd have to chat her up in a fun way and show her a good time and so on, but for me that blunt way of putting it was what it took for me to finally get the idea that to a woman a look and a smile was a Huge Flashing Signal with Fountains and Fireworks that she finds a guy cute or attractive (at least at that moment). Who knew? How the hell would I have known that?

 

I have always smiled and looked at people and said 'hi' just to be friendly (also, I wave at people driving the opposite direction and make jokey comments with people I don't know on the sidewalk when it comes up) - it's friendly, it has always meant nothing about being attracted, but once she clued me in, I started paying attention and acting on the signals I was getting, and of course she is right on this one.

[MrCastle]

Well men are not mind readers, so.

 

Men make it obvious (sometimes embarrassingly so) that they like a woman.

 

Women for the most part are subtle and expect the man to "just know."

 

Women that were not attracted to me sexually treated me the same as some of the other ones that were (i.e. being receptive and timely in their texts, agreeing to hang out, etc)

 

How is a man to know?

 

As far as younger men vs older men -- can't the same be said for both sexes?

 

Wouldn't older women have more experience and thus by definition have a better idea of who's attracted to them and who's not? That is not a gender specific thing but an age thing.

 

Let's put a lid on some of the garbage that gets tossed around here that older men are in any way better than younger men. They're not. They're just older.

 

Experience, knowledge, and wisdom do not automatically come with every man past age X.

 

Some men never grow up, and never learn. Others learn quickly, and while they're young.

 

Every case is individual.

[Southern Cal Dude]

Well men are not mind readers, so.

 

Men make it obvious (sometimes embarrassingly so) that they like a woman.

 

Women for the most part are subtle and expect the man to "just know."

 

Women that were not attracted to me sexually treated me the same as some of the other ones that were (i.e. being receptive and timely in their texts, agreeing to hang out, etc)

 

How is a man to know?

 

As far as younger men vs older men -- can't the same be said for both sexes?

 

Wouldn't older women have more experience and thus by definition have a better idea of who's attracted to them and who's not? That is not a gender specific thing but an age thing.

 

Let's put a lid on some of the garbage that gets tossed around here that older men are in any way better than younger men. They're not. They're just older.

 

Experience, knowledge, and wisdom do not automatically come with every man past age X.

 

Some men never grow up, and never learn. Others learn quickly, and while they're young.

 

Every case is individual.

 

 

The problem with subtle is it often comes across as disinterest. I remember bartending one night in November 2011. It was a slow night, so I was chatting with one of my female customers. She had mentioned that men are dense and have no clue when a woman is interested. I told her flat out, "Hun, you can't just sit there, look pretty, and expect a man to chat you up. I have women that come here, flirt with me, and some even ask if I want to screw them in the bathroom. Those types, even if not the best breed of women, will win over you 10 out of 10 times because they go for what they want."

 

She didn't say a word, because she knew I was right. Never saw her again after that, but I hope I was able to educate her on how things work between the sexes, especially coming from a bartender who deals with women regularly.

[Lani]

As a woman, yes, I believe that most of the time they are pretty clueless.

But, I've noticed that there seems to be a switch at some stage..

 

Young guys tend to not notice when you are interested. They hang around waiting for you to basically make the moves yourself, because they just don't pick up on it.

 

Whereas older guys (I'm talking 40+ here) tend not to notice when you are not interested. They hang around, relentlessly pursuing you until you basically tell them you're getting a restraining order and hitman on them.

 

I wonder if I'm the only one who's noticed this?

[Suave]

I am quite skilled at picking up non-verbal cues and signs if someone is interested in me or not. Saves a lot of time wasted at bars on lost causes.