RainOnMe Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 My ex-fiancé broke it off with me two months ago (pregnant with his first child). I have my 1st child who is 5 he played daddy too then disappeared out of our life because it just didn’t workout. He changed his # and kicked me and my daughter out on the street. I haven’t heard from him and it makes me crazy. How do I move on from him? I think about him constantly and yet he wants nothing to do with me. He hasn’t checked to see if I’m okay, if I need anything and he got a girlfriend less than a month after our breakup. I seen him and he told me he will never take me back and hasn’t gotten a hold of me since. He knows where I work and knows where I live. How do I move on? I don’t want to date (I want to focus on being a Single parent once again to not only one but two babies with different fathers and I never want any more children again). Help!
loveunlimited Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 When you've had your baby, get your tubes tied, then make sure you get legal help in seeking financial support from him; he may want nothing more to do with you personally, but he cannot escape the fact that he is a dad now and as such will have to face up to matters and help support his child. If he believes that cutting off all contact with you, will make you disappear, make sure he sees that as a pretty big illusion very fast. 3
Author RainOnMe Posted June 18, 2013 Author Posted June 18, 2013 My doctor won't let me tie my tubes because she feels I'll change my mind in the future. I waited 4 years to even plan this child but should of waited until we were married-except if it didn't work out now, it wouldn't of worked out then. I will put him on child support since he isn't communicating with me what so ever. Hes 5 years older than me and still thinks I'll disappear like that. I'm upset that he did that to my daughter. At least be an adult about it. I decided to not find him once my son is born just because I don't know how to get a hold of him. I already tried my part to make it up to him and he just wouldn't hear it. His gf was there when I seen him and he treated me like I was nothing to him. Thank you...I'm going a little crazy. My daughters father died when she was 2.
Million.to.1 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Aw, babe. That is really rough, I'm sorry. He sounds very heartless to have shut you and your daughter out so abruptly and harshly. Focus on staying healthy, eating good food and enjoying your pregnancy. Do yoga, go for walks and surround yourself with lovely soothing relaxing things The most important thing now is your daughter and son and you need to be strong for them. This man is not worth this stress right now...I know it's hard but you must push him far from your mind when he pops up. Do you have friends and family around to help you at all?
Author RainOnMe Posted June 18, 2013 Author Posted June 18, 2013 I do have family and friends who have been helping me. Its just that he is constantly on my mind. I was/am extremely jealous of his new gf, I want to know details of her but I am stopping myself because I know that within time-it really won't matter. Except I'm pregnant these thoughts just keep coming. What if I bump into him? What do I do? really, is what I think. What does his gf have that I don't...etc...It really didn't workout because once my hormones kicked in I couldn't be around him, he smelled, he didn't take care of himself, he was a big baby always going to his mom and dad about everything and will tell everyone every little detail about our relationship and I did not agree with that.
Million.to.1 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 I do have family and friends who have been helping me. Its just that he is constantly on my mind. I was/am extremely jealous of his new gf, I want to know details of her but I am stopping myself because I know that within time-it really won't matter. Except I'm pregnant these thoughts just keep coming. What if I bump into him? What do I do? really, is what I think. What does his gf have that I don't...etc...It really didn't workout because once my hormones kicked in I couldn't be around him, he smelled, he didn't take care of himself, he was a big baby always going to his mom and dad about everything and will tell everyone every little detail about our relationship and I did not agree with that. sounds like a dumbass. Your kids are WAYYYYY more important than him or his new GF, so focus on them and yourself instead.
juicygirl Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Big hugs too you. You will be o.k. My ex run off after he was diagnosed with bipolar1 disorder, I was 5 weeks pregnant with number 2. He has a new girlfriend now who has a kid also, in a totally different country and still hasn't meant his own child? Don't waste your time trying to figure him out or how he can be so mean to the children, you will crazy yourself insane. When I was pregnant all I could focus on was the baby. I cried a lot once baby was born, but what helped me is keeping busy, planning my future and actually making it happen. I left the door open for our kids, but it's up to him to walk through it. Anytime I think about facebook stalking or I get inraged by his behaviour and believe me there are times I want to do crazy thinks like warn the new girl,I find something else to do or call a friend until I'm calm again, it's not worth it. I think I 've been to every park and playgroup there is going just to get out of the house. Get some good contraception, a coil maybe but don't cut or tie anything just yet. 1
Author RainOnMe Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 I had to block him and his family because I felt the need to stalk him. There are times I still want to but I chose not too only because It will hurt me. Sometimes I get so mad about what happened and wish I never met him but I wouldn't be having my son if it wasn't for him. I've never experienced such crazy emotions in less than 9 months in one person. When my daughters father died I felt it but accepted it after time. I know this too will pass but its taking so long. I just wish I never had to see him again. He leaves out of state right after the baby is born due to PCS in AF. Another reason that cause us issues is because I felt like he was pressuring me to marry him even though I had issues with him. He said he won't see the baby unless he came up to visit which is probably once a year. This sucks! My son won't have a daddy in his life either.
Balzac Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 My doctor won't let me tie my tubes because she feels I'll change my mind in the future. OMG. Is it because your delivery will be in a Catholic hospital?
Author RainOnMe Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 I was on that for four years before I decided to get off it to have # 2.
Author RainOnMe Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 OMG. Is it because your delivery will be in a Catholic hospital? no, she just thinks I will change my mind in the future.
Author RainOnMe Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 Mirena last 5 years. It's been great for me. I was on that for four years before I decided to get off it to have # 2.
Author RainOnMe Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 Big hugs too you. You will be o.k. My ex run off after he was diagnosed with bipolar1 disorder, I was 5 weeks pregnant with number 2. He has a new girlfriend now who has a kid also, in a totally different country and still hasn't meant his own child? Don't waste your time trying to figure him out or how he can be so mean to the children, you will crazy yourself insane. When I was pregnant all I could focus on was the baby. I cried a lot once baby was born, but what helped me is keeping busy, planning my future and actually making it happen. I left the door open for our kids, but it's up to him to walk through it. Anytime I think about facebook stalking or I get inraged by his behaviour and believe me there are times I want to do crazy thinks like warn the new girl,I find something else to do or call a friend until I'm calm again, it's not worth it. I think I 've been to every park and playgroup there is going just to get out of the house. Get some good contraception, a coil maybe but don't cut or tie anything just yet. I had to block him and his family because I felt the need to stalk him. There are times I still want to but I chose not too only because It will hurt me. Sometimes I get so mad about what happened and wish I never met him but I wouldn't be having my son if it wasn't for him. I've never experienced such crazy emotions in less than 9 months in one person. When my daughters father died I felt it but accepted it after time. I know this too will pass but its taking so long. I just wish I never had to see him again. He leaves out of state right after the baby is born due to PCS in AF. Another reason that cause us issues is because I felt like he was pressuring me to marry him even though I had issues with him. He said he won't see the baby unless he came up to visit which is probably once a year. This sucks! My son won't have a daddy in his life either.
Author RainOnMe Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 Do you understand your rights as a patient? Yes, she is referring me to a therapist to talk about it. They say a lot of women change their mind and regret doing it years later. Im okay with exchanging the mirena every 5 years.
Author RainOnMe Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 Do you understand your rights as a patient? Yes I do, she just says that I have to see a therapist to talk about it to try and get me to change my mind then after I can get referred if I still want to do it.
Balzac Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 ParaGard = 10 years. Pros n Cons between your IUD options.
juicygirl Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Do you understand your rights as a patient? Most doctors won't give her one based on her situation and age. As she has just experienced a difficult time it would be unwise for any doctor to perform such a procedure at such an emotional time. A lot won't do it if you are under a certain age too, I believe in the UK it's no one under 35.
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