onaht Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Me and my GF were going out for 7 months (24 and 23 yo). We practically lived together. I'd still go to my place at night to grab a change of clothes and go back to hers to spend the night. Other than that I was at her place. We were basically glued to the hip 24/7 during this whole time. So yes, we moved fast, and our relationship was basically heaven for the both of us. We've both told each other it was our best relationship ever. Anyway, eventually she started texting a new guy she met. After 3 weeks of this, they hung out two days in a row for like a casual lunch thing. After the second hang out, she tells me they were planning on hanging out the next night. This is when I confronted her about their "friendship." She told me she wasn't sure if he was looking for more than friends or not, but she didn't have feelings about him that way. I got scared I was losing her and I freaked out, grabbed what little belongings I had at her place and walked out. This was 2 weeks ago. Prior to these 3 hangouts, our relationship was still picture perfect. She had even recently asked me to go with her to look for a new apartment together. So I basically made a rash overreaction based on emotion and jealousy. I know I should have thought out what I was doing. I essentially dumped her in a horrible way. About 30 minutes after I walked out I came back and knocked on the door but she wouldn't let me in or talk to me. I really knew I made a mistake. So we've basically been talking here and there but our hangouts have been sort of cold and awkward and "just friends." She tells me I made her feel unwanted, worthless, and that it seemed like the amazing 7 months we had meant nothing to me. I can understand that. I've apologized many times since then and I've asked to try to make this relationship work again. She thinks I only want her back because I'm afraid to be alone. For now she just wants to be friends, because she's hurt, angry, and doesn't trust me anymore. So how do I proceed? I feel like going NC, but wouldn't that make her feel even more unwanted? I've been keeping in contact with her still (she initiates and also still asks to hang out), but I'm starting to feel like I'm being friendzoned. Help!
loveunlimited Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Why don't you write her a letter and tell her how you feel. She may have had reason to react as she did with you but you don't know many men who would be happy to let their long-term girlfriends go out with another man several nights running especially if the GF herself was not sure of his intentions. How are things between them now? It almost sounds like you gave her the perfect excuse to dump you so she could see this man with a clear conscience. I agree with your anger, i think what she did was unfair, but then, if a girl is willing to spend time with a man whose intentions she cannot accurately interpret, there's something there which tells me this is for the best....
Author onaht Posted June 18, 2013 Author Posted June 18, 2013 You bring up a good point. I did think that she's been so resistant to get back with me because she wants to "try" out this other guy. But she's visibly distraught that I broke up with her so suddenly. She told me it came out of nowhere. She's lost a lot of weight since I walked out. I can tell she hasn't been eating well. Although she was hanging out with this guy when we were together, she still was amazingly loving, caring, and affectionate with me. The sex was still great. I basically got too suspicious too soon.
Author onaht Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 I think I know what you mean. I started getting suspicious about a week before I walked out. Still I wished I handled it better, stayed calm, and let things unfold. Because now I'll never know. It wasn't 3 nights in a row by the way, it was 2 lunches after class and a planned night the next day. I know that still sounds shady, but it would have been nice to know for sure she was messing it up, so I could blame her. Instead I have this constant wonder if I really did mess up a good thing. Unhealthy, I know.
escafeld Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I think I know what you mean. I started getting suspicious about a week before I walked out. Still I wished I handled it better, stayed calm, and let things unfold. Because now I'll never know. It wasn't 3 nights in a row by the way, it was 2 lunches after class and a planned night the next day. I know that still sounds shady, but it would have been nice to know for sure she was messing it up, so I could blame her. Instead I have this constant wonder if I really did mess up a good thing. Unhealthy, I know. I agree with the previous poster. There's no problem her 'hanging out' with another guy but she appended status to it by excluding you from these hang outs which she would have had no need to if it had been perfectly innocent. She rolled the grenade under the door, your explosive response obligated her of any blame so she maintains your interest whilst still pursuing her 'friendship' with another man..
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