kingston03 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 I started dating my boyfriend back in October of 2011. We met at a mutual friends birthday party. I saw him from across the table and instantly was attracted to him. A little after a month, I knew that I definitely wanted to pursue a real relationship with him. I've struggled with social anxiety for years now, and meeting his friends and going to social gatherings with him was something that I had to push myself hard with and I conquered it because I knew what we had was something special. After a few months of dating, he attempted to break it off with me. I didn't understand why though. His reason was because we were too different, but I didn't feel the same way. Eventually we got back together (dating but no title) and continued to see each other every weekend. It took FOREVER for him to finally call me his girlfriend. I guess I should've seen this as a sign. Everything, to me, was going fine from the point we became boyfriend/girlfriend up until I sold my car and attempted to purchase a new one and ended up getting scammed. It put a halt on our relationship for some reason. Then shortly after, I got pregnant, more stress. That is when he told me that he 1. didn't love me 2. never thought about marriage or kids with me (even though we had two names picked out for kids) 3. was going to break up with me shortly before the whole car thing happened After I lost the pregnancy, it left a huge void in me, but I still knew I wanted to try and work on our relationship. He agreed that we could do this. What I want to know is, does this seem like something worth trying for? We've been together since October of 2011 and here it is June of 2013 and he still doesn't love me and has no intentions of marrying me even after all we've been through. I want to find some glimmer of hope that maybe I can turn this relationship around and find a way for him to see that we connect, he just needs to open his heart and mind to someone that he probably didnt think he would. You see, I'm african american and he's white, and he mostly was attracted to Indian girls. Sometimes I think the reason why he's so reluctant is because he had it in his head for so long that he was going to be with an Indian girl and here he is ...with a black girl. He's also 32 and has a professional career while I'm still in school working part time (I'm 26). Maybe this too could have something to do with it? I'm not sure. I just need answers on what I should maybe do.
loveunlimited Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 I think to be honest with you, it's time to drop this and leave it alone. 1
BluEyeL Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Truly not worth it. Move on, otherwise you could lose years on someone who doesn't love you. It'll be hard to start looking again, but it's worth it. 1
Phantom888 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 You already know the answer. How can any couple survive after such hurt and cruelty? He's been so cruel to you. It has only been a bit over a year and a half. If he can't be good to you now, and love you the way you deserve, how do you expect him to love you in the future? Walk away and seek someone who can genuinely appreciate you.
thecrucible Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 You should not have tried to get him back when he let you go the first time. Huge possibility that you'd end up as a placeholder and that seems to be what has happened here. :/ I think it's time to move on and stop wasting time on this guy. You need to meet a guy who really does care for you and make that effort for you.
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