chulamama74 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 I broke up almost a month ago with my boyfriend. I contacted him a week after the breakup (texts) and he was very cold. We kept texting back and forth for a week but I felt he was cold and a little mean. I didn't beg or anything, I was just pointing out that he needed to see his wrong doings too (which he didn't like of course). So 2 weeks ago I started the No Contact thing in an effort to get him back. He hasn't tried to contact me either. I've kept busy working out, going to the beach, reading....working on myself. Haven't been out to bars because that was one of his complaints, that I couldn't live without the nightlife. I'm proving myself that I can. So what's happening is not what I expected. I'm feeling very relaxed ( I was a mess the first 2 weeks), I am happy and even having second thoughts of wanting him back. Has this happened to you too?
veggies Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Consider yourself lucky that you're feeling the effects of NC so quickly-- that's what it's for! To make you realize you can be happy without your ex, sometimes even happier. Some people have been in NC for months and are still stuck in a sad place, so you're doing great.
Author chulamama74 Posted June 18, 2013 Author Posted June 18, 2013 Thanks Veggies, don't get me wrong, I would love for us to get back together but now I need for him to own his mistakes first. The first week I was crying and hurting, all I wanted was a second chance, now I feel like he also needs to ask for a second chance. All I know is that this won't kill me
vascularity Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 I broke up almost a month ago with my boyfriend. So 2 weeks ago I started the No Contact thing in an effort to get him back. As the dumper, it is your role to reach out to the dumpee, not vice-versa. NC is meant to establish barriers between that interaction to heal. Unless you're dead-set on moving past this, NC is only going to push him farther away - you're going to have to show him that you want to be with him through strong words and actions, if that is what you ultimately want. 1
RespectfullyAlone Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Agree. NC is for the dumpees, not the dumpers. The dumpers can easily do something about a breakup. They can say they are sorry, made a mistake, can't live without you. Dumpees don't have this option or power, as the dumper knows the person they have left more than likely loves or likes them alot. And they still left for someone else, or to go find their "soulmate" BS. Chulamama74, if you want your guy back, then act. You have the power to do so. But going NC, is only going to re-inforce the notion you want nothing further to do with your ex. 1
hotpotato Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 No offense Op but you are cake eating. YOU dumped him then you wonder why he is cold to you. YOU let him go and now want him to feel sad for a decision YOU made. Like others said, you are doing the wrong things to get him back.
hotpotato Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Consider yourself lucky that you're feeling the effects of NC so quickly-- that's what it's for! To make you realize you can be happy without your ex, sometimes even happier. Some people have been in NC for months and are still stuck in a sad place, so you're doing great. Of course she is doing better than most of the people here who are dumpees. As a dumper chula is in a position of power unlike many people here who were dumped.
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