rolo99 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Colorado has mandatory mediation for 2 hours. We go today....separate rooms w/lawyers. It'll be the first time I've seen him in 7 weeks. All contact has been through our lawyers for the past 6 wks. My lawyer seems to have a good plan/strategy. Our final order hearing was set for Aug 20, but if we reach a settlement today, it'll be final July 1. Not sure I'm ready for any of this. I'm feeling a little bit like I could throw up.
Yasuandio Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 You are having a normal reaction. I hope it goes well. But I found in my case it is really just a method for the attorneys to flex their muscles, and make big talk, whilst running up their tsb. My former husband's offer to us was to sell everything, cars, houses, and put me on the street, and NO ALIMONY. I sort of wanted to have a place to live - so, that court ordered mediation wasn't exactly productive. I really pray your day goes better. Yas
GuyInLimbo Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 You'll be fine. Hopefully, you can just come to an agreement and end this thing July 1 for your sake. Compromise, if you can, in the name of moving on with your life.
Author rolo99 Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 Well....after 4 hours we reached a settlement. I wound up better than expected. He took a big hit, but before you guys talk about the woman getting everything....there are no kids and 80-90% of the money came from my side. My lawyer is the bomb, the forensic accountant I hired is the bomb and he also walked away from everything in the house (he only took a few things when he moved out). He turned down alimony...in a state known for being generous with it. Whew! 6
Yasuandio Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Wy to go, hon! Get it signed, stamped, sealed and delivered asap! Do not discuss it with anyone, it is a totally (legally) private negotiation. Don't take a chance that your elation (or satisfaction) could get back to him. Be really nice before he comes to him senses. The guy is obviously paralized. Give him hope if you have to. Do what ever you have to do to make this thing go through. But don't overdo it - cause that might arouse suspitions. Bravo for you! Yas 1
GuyInLimbo Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 Great for you, Rolo! Now your new life begins. Enjoy it and have fun. 2
Author rolo99 Posted June 19, 2013 Author Posted June 19, 2013 Thanks. It's hitting me....again today. Last night I had a dream that he came home for one more night and everything we normal. I woke up crying. I don't have any contact with him but I'm not telling anyone or posting about it on any social media...until it's over. My lawyer has cautioned me to "play nice" until it's stamped. He was all nicey nice when we met in the waiting room. After he wouldn't even look at me.
Yasuandio Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 (edited) Thanks. It's hitting me....again today. Last night I had a dream that he came home for one more night and everything we normal. I woke up crying. I don't have any contact with him but I'm not telling anyone or posting about it on any social media...until it's over. My lawyer has cautioned me to "play nice" until it's stamped. He was all nicey nice when we met in the waiting room. After he wouldn't even look at me. Don't waste your tears honey. He'll be back. Here's a little story to cheer u up! Last evening, when I was thinking about you, two big guys had just delivered my new little retro sofa! It is a reproduction of the Marilyn Monroe Lip Couch - a bright red sofa/loveseat in the shape of a big kiss! My former husband would just die if he knew how hidiously I have decorated the place in his absense of almost 5 years now (our divorce was final last September). Anyway, the two rather huge delivery guys, (from Jamaca), and I were chatting in the front entrance doorway of my home, after they had unloaded the ghastly sofa into my living room. Can you believe what happened next? Well, my former husband, (or "Little Nazi," for short), did a drive-by! Now, there were times in the past where "LN" terrorized me and caused me paranoia and sleepless nights, and insomnia with drive-bys, stalking, and hiring private detectives to follow me and drive me crazy - literally. I thought this nonsense had stopped by now. But, the moment I happen to be standing at the doorway looking out to the street area - there he is, in his BIG Mercedes, with his bald Greek head cruising my sub-division, with his arm hanging out the window with his blue work-out jump suit - with the white patches along the sleeves. I must have laundered that stinking work out suit in a separate load 50 times for his sissy a&&, and then he insisted on exactly 5 minuites of cool tumble, and hang to dry. God. That work-out suit has to be ready for the trash by now after all these years. His laundry was a nightmare, he was so particular. It is a good thing he is not around anymore, as I was such a bad wife, admittedly getting PA with the laundry - I did pull off some numbers on him, like mixing his nasty underware with his nicest shirt. These modern times, you have to worry about cameras watching - and it is much easier to get caught cheating the laundry procedures. So, everything has turned out for the best. I'd much rather watch my important TV programs like "Dance Moms," and Mr. Gordon Ramsey - than have to do maid service. I hope you like my little humors tonight. Baby, cheer up! Be really cool, non-chalant. The moments you forget this guy, and really start loving on yourself, are the moments he cannot get you out of his head. Also -- his not speaking to you, and fluxuation in mood is evidence of his pain. He knows he a stupid one, and has given up the best girl in the world. He will really know it, when it is too late, just like "LN." You must not focus on him at all. Focus only and squarely on yourself. Think of all the crap you don't have to deal with now! Use that time for you! Watch the TV shows you like! Get yourself something special that he would absolutely hate. Get some headers put on your car, like another poster is doing (if you happen to see him on the road, then you can blow his doors off). Shake things up! You deserve it. Once you get those docs signed, give him the big "KISS-OFF," and he will be cruising your neighborhood. You mark my words. Yas Edited June 20, 2013 by Yasuandio 3
Author rolo99 Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 Awww...thank for thinking of me! I highly doubt that he will cruise my hood. I threatened to call the cops the last time he was here....even though he gave me no reason to and had every right to be picking up the few things that he did. I have worked with the legal system enough that I said, "think of it....I bruise easily, can cry at the drop of a hat these days....one call to the police and your ass is off to jail." He turned white. I'd never do that, but it gave me a brief bit of happiness. One of the first times I went to the grocery store after he moved out in March, I got there and thought, "I can buy whatever I want...and only things that I like." Yasuandio - I LOVE the idea of your "kiss" sofa! Did your ex see the 2 giant Jamacians? That would really messed with his head.
phillygirl Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 You are having a normal reaction. I hope it goes well. But I found in my case it is really just a method for the attorneys to flex their muscles, and make big talk, whilst running up their tsb. My former husband's offer to us was to sell everything, cars, houses, and put me on the street, and NO ALIMONY. I sort of wanted to have a place to live - so, that court ordered mediation wasn't exactly productive. I really pray your day goes better. Yas Sounds like we're divorcing the same man...except mine told me that I can live in the projects and "go tricking under a bridge with my dogs."
phillygirl Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 CONGRATS!!!!! Good luck on "the other side." Enjoy your new life....
sp00 Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Well....after 4 hours we reached a settlement. I wound up better than expected. He took a big hit, but before you guys talk about the woman getting everything....there are no kids and 80-90% of the money came from my side. My lawyer is the bomb, the forensic accountant I hired is the bomb and he also walked away from everything in the house (he only took a few things when he moved out). He turned down alimony...in a state known for being generous with it. Whew! Any chance you're willing to say who your lawyer and mediator are/were? My situation sounds very similar to yours and we're doing our mediation in Denver in several weeks.
Author rolo99 Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 (edited) I'd be happy to send it to you in a private message. Is there a way to do that here? Edit...it doesn't look like I can send private messages until I post more or pay. If you are willing to post your email address I'd be happy to fill you in. Edited June 20, 2013 by rolo99
Yasuandio Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 (edited) Awww...thank for thinking of me! I highly doubt that he will cruise my hood. I threatened to call the cops the last time he was here....even though he gave me no reason to and had every right to be picking up the few things that he did. I have worked with the legal system enough that I said, "think of it....I bruise easily, can cry at the drop of a hat these days....one call to the police and your ass is off to jail." He turned white. I'd never do that, but it gave me a brief bit of happiness. One of the first times I went to the grocery store after he moved out in March, I got there and thought, "I can buy whatever I want...and only things that I like." Yasuandio - I LOVE the idea of your "kiss" sofa! Did your ex see the 2 giant Jamacians? That would really messed with his head. Oh, Little 5'5 Nazi for sure saw the nice, handsome, strong Jamacian giants! No one could miss these glowing exotic men chatting it up with me in the doorway! They were making me glow and sparkle! So sweet and animated they were! I just love meeting people from other lands! I sure hope they are the ones to make the next weird furnature delivery! Kisses to you, honey! Yas PS Sweets, be very careful what you say from now on. I understand completely why you got ticked and made those comments - it's anger. But always think about that he could be tape recording you! I tape recorded my husband's confession regarding a critical matter in 2008, on the advice of my attorney. And indeed, it was admissable, and a saving grace during the three-day trial last year. Furthermore, I got to hear a few of my drucken-dialing voice mail recordings that were very embarassing, that his attorney forwarded over to my attorney when she was preparing me for trial. They were not used in Court (because, my drucken statements hurt his case more than helped his case) - but, I had to wonder about it the whole time, and it caused me a lot of discomfort. Hopefully, you got this sewed up. Just don't count your chickens until their hatched. Edited June 20, 2013 by Yasuandio
William Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 I'd be happy to send it to you in a private message. Is there a way to do that here? Edit...it doesn't look like I can send private messages until I post more or pay. If you are willing to post your email address I'd be happy to fill you in. Check your PM function in another 30 posts or so. We discourage members from giving out personally identifiable information publicly, like e-mail addresses, for two reasons: 1. Google and bots crawl this forum and spammers harvest e-mails and spam people 2. It's against our guidelines and is a ten point infraction, suspending the member for ten days. Carry on.
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