Earth Angel Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Need advice. This is my 1st post on this forum and I could really use your help. Thanks! I was recently dumped after a 11mo relationship. This relationship was rocky since it was my first one as a gay woman and I was coming to accept things and all the changes in my life. During this relationship my ex broke up with me 3 times. She would walk away, cool down and come back but it took it’s toll and I came to expect the breakups. I never quite got past them. So after a week of not speaking (this last breakup) we meet and she hugs me for an hour. She tells me she loves me and is confused. Then she proceeds to tell me she is back with her ex from 10yrs ago (she ran off to her after our breakup) and they are trying to see if things will work out. Suffice it to say I am heartbroken. I know I haven’t been easy and yes I pushed away sometimes (I recently lost a friend of over 25 years since coming out)but I had expected her to be here and now I am alone, and it hurts. Well after this meeting, two days later she tells me to never contact her again and that we can never be friends. She will never be intimate with me again (her words). One thing that was very hard for me during my relationship was her continuous friendship with this ex. This ex dumped her 10yrs ago for her soon to be ex wife. A few times during our relationship my ex even cried over this (which was weird). When he ex recently visited she asked her “why are you dating a straight girl?” I just feel like this ex has held things over us for the past 11 mo. So now they are “dating” and my ex has walked completely away from me. She has a habit of keeping exes as friends but now her only “friend” left is this ex who she has confided all her relationship woes to and now they are dating. My question is this. Do you think this new relationship is going to work?
MidwestUSA Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 It is not something you should even be wondering about. She made it clear; it's over. Implement NC (she has), move on and don't look back. You've "not gotten past" the prior breakups, this is the mother of them all, and it's time to face it. So sorry you are hurting, but thinking about how her life will progress will only impede your own healing. Again, so sorry.
veggies Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Wow, what a situation! To answer your question, do I think it will work out? Probably not... For one, she is rebounding with her ex and isn't giving time to properly grieve your relationship, and two, that woman already left her for someone else so she could always do it again. Obviously she still had feelings for her ex, but the same problems that broke them up in the first place could happen again. Just be patient and focus on yourself for now-- the only thing that will change the situation is time. You have to go NC and work on yourself and make yourself happy. Nobody can tell what the future holds but you are in control of yourself, and you can find happiness with or without her.
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