confuzed25 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 My husband and I have been married for 3 weeks. We were together as a couple for 2 1/2 years before our wedding. We had a year and a half long engagement so we did have some time to make sure that we wanted to be married to each other. We are both in our late twenties. My husband never had cold feet during our engagement, even a couple days before our wedding and the day of he was just excited and ready for it to get here. He told everyone that asked "why would I be nervous, I'm going to be there, as long as she shows up I have no reason to be nervous." He was so so happy on our wedding day he couldn't stop smiling and he just kept telling me how amazing I looked and he couldn't get enough of me that day. On our honeymoon he couldn't keep his hands off of me. We had a great time and never fought or argued at all. Now we are home and I moved into his house. We did not live together before the wedding and I really only saw him 2-3 times per week. I feel like its been kind of hard living with him and I feel like he has pulled away from me and that he seems different. He used to kiss me goodbye every morning and say I love you before going to work. Now he kisses me quickly and leaves without saying I love you. He's not as affectionate and seems short with me. We have had sex maybe 3 times in the 10 days we have been back from our honeymoon. He seems like he gets irritated with me easily and I can tell he feels like I am nagging him sometimes when I mention the grass needing mowed or that we need to put our wedding gifts away. He comes home from work and doesn't hug and kiss me like I thought he would. I thought he would be happy to see me....but instead he usually comes home, tells me a little about his day and goes in to nap on the couch. I'm sure its hard for him that I'm coming in here and rearranging his house and that I am here all the time. My belongings and our wedding and shower gifts are all over the house because we are working on putting things away and getting rid of things but its a process. I know that annoys him that the house is cluttered with stuff. He still calls me on his lunch break everyday to see what I'm doing, invite me to lunch with him, or to ask me if I want him to bring me something for lunch. Sometimes he even acts like his old loving self and jokes with me or says something nice to me. A few days ago he texted me while I was at work and said he missed me and felt like we haven't gotten to spend much time together lately. (I had worked 24 hours in just 2 days so I wasnt home much for a couple days.) But for the most part I feel like he has changed and like maybe now he is getting "Cold feet" and regrets marrying me. He does things also that I really notice annoy me now that we are living together...he comes home from work on his lunch break or the end of the day and naps on the couch. I feel like he is being lazy and not getting things done that need done. The grass is really high and instead he comes home and sleeps on the couch. I don't want to push the issue though because I feel like it will make his attitude towards me even worse because he will feel like I am nagging him. I don't know how to fix this or if this is just a normal thing in the beginning of being married and trying to adjust to living together. My girl friend and I are going out of town in 2 weeks for 4 days, 3 nights. I am hoping that this helps a little bit. I just don't know if this is normal or how I can bring him out of this funk. It seems like the more I try, the more he pulls away. I would appreciate any input and advice please!
Els Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 (edited) He does things also that I really notice annoy me now that we are living together...he comes home from work on his lunch break or the end of the day and naps on the couch. I feel like he is being lazy and not getting things done that need done. The grass is really high and instead he comes home and sleeps on the couch. Don't you feel you're being unreasonable here? Most people don't mow the lawn during lunch break. Edit: Hmmm, I missed the part where you'd said you worked 24 hours in two days - why does he need to 'bring lunch home' for you in that case? At any rate, perhaps consider a chores list so you can divvy up without nagging? Edited June 19, 2013 by Elswyth
Mint Sauce Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 who kept his house clean and lawn mowed before you moved in? if he had a system where everything was orderly, and he could take his nap, then it's logical you being there and "ruining" his system may be a bit "much". The fact that he seems more loving while you are not physically with him, also suggests the living together is proving a bit "much" for him. Sounds like to a normal adjustment period to me. BTW, every high is followed by a temporary low. Some decompression after your honeymoon is perhaps to be expected as well.
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