FlameHairedGirl Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 (edited) Okay, this is a bit of a lengthy, complicated situation. But I'll give it a go . I began a relationship with this guy in August last year, after knowing him 2 and a half years prior, he was (and still is) the perfect guy for me. At first, I suggested we go on a few dates and take it from there seeing as I wasn't a fan of relationships from being lied to and cheated on before. This guy however, said he'd liked me for years and so wanted to be with me exclusively. We were the perfect couple, so committed to each other, he was my first love and I lost my virginity to him, first guy I ever said 'I love you' to. He initiated everything (was the first to say I love you, said he wanted to be with me and couldn't see anyone else in his future). He seemed to hate it when I wasn't around and would always want to see me and would be the first to contact. Occasionally I wouldn't go to his house because I need a bit of 'me' time now and again and he'd get upset thinking there was something wrong. He's started bodybuilding about a year ago, I've never been a fan of it but I supported him nonetheles because I wanted him to be happy. We'd only go to places where he could eat, I was always respectful of his gym time, meal times etc. Things were absolutely perfect (he even booked us to go on holiday in September), until recently when he started his new job, he said it was one where he would bring his work home occasionally, I was so happy for him but I did raise my concern of it affecting us, but he assured me everything would be fine. Everything changed for him, the only thing that was familiar to his routine was his band, and one day he just changed towards me. I was meant to go to his after I finished work, he kept making excuses that I could go but he 'wouldn't be of much company' and that he was really tired, instead of just saying he didn't want me to go. After that, contact became less and less and when I'd stay at his, he wouldn't come near me and would fall asleep straight away (I understand through the week but on weekends??) I started to feel less attractive to him. After leaving him alone, I asked him what he wanted; all he said was that it wasn't anything I'd done and that he was just stressed. He then invited me to his mother's play and a wedding do that weekend, I did say I would go, and he met me after work but something wasn't right, he barely looked at me or spoke to me all night and seemed annoyed whenever I was speaking to anyone else. I then asked him if he wanted me to leave, he said 'no, of course not'. On the way home, he was rambling on about gym stuff and asked me what was wrong, I told him it didn't matter as I didn't want to argue. He was acting really nice then and when we got into bed, it all unravelled; I told him how he was making me feel, that I understood he was stressed but if he can 'put a front on' for others, why couldn't he do it for me? He went on about how he wasn't pushing me away and that he was uncomfortable with the change. We ended up making up but still, no intimacy of any kind. He didn't change how he was behaving, and stopped contacting me, didn't want to see me etc. I was so confused and didn't know how to react, this went on for another week or so, so I asked him what he wanted, break up, break, space? he kept saying he didn't know. I told him that it was unfair for him to be doing this to me and that he didn't care. He said I meant a lot to him and that he loves me, but didn't know if he wanted to be in a relationship at all. There is nobody else and apparently it's still not me. I asked if I could get my stuff back from his and his reply was 'I never said it was over'. I then said 'you're hinting at a break, so you got it'. I haven't seen him since, his brother is my tattoo artist (and we're still quite close) and I'd already booked in for a session. I never brought it up but he did, saying it was the diet making him crabby and that he told his brother that he was unsure if I wanted to be with him. 3 weeks ago, I sent him a final text saying how much I loved him and wanted to work things out. I realise that I might've handled it badly but what am I supposed to do when I'm in limbo? I've done nothing but focus on me for the time being, finishing college and going out with friends, so I haven't stayed in crying over him. He hasn't answered me but (as silly as this is) he's kept me as a friend on Facebook, and he hasn't changed his relationship status to 'single'. I'm so unsure of what to do, I want to move on but I know at the same time that I do love him, and this isn't how he is usually. I don't expect anybody to have a definate answer, but if everyone has had a similar situation, it would help me greatly. Edited June 18, 2013 by FlameHairedGirl
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