RedIvy Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Hi all Okay so, once again, I'm putting myself in complicated situations. Why? Well...I have no answer. I would love some advice on this masterpiece... There's this guy. We have a couple mutual friends but him and I never talked or really even met for that matter. I just knew of him and vice versa. He works with one of my good friends (who has been friends with him for years and years) Anyway, I always thought he was so handsome and I would crush on him physically. He was eye candy for me! He has a girlfriend but from what other people have said, they're both very unhappy. They live together, and everyone thought it was a mistake for that to happen. Who knows. So, about 2 months ago, him and I would casually talk on Facebook. Facebook then lead to text, which then lead to him asking me to hang out. Every since that night (nothing happened...just a drive by the lake and listening to music) him and I have been talking every day. He'll text me in the morning until late at night. We've been hanging out a lot. (Again, no sex.) He tells me how unhappy he is with his girlfriend, yadda yadda. What my problem is, is that we seem to really like each other and feelings are developing more and more. This sucks, as he is still with this other girl. Should I stop seeing him? Could this be a chance at love? Is my time being wasted? What should I do??
Keke1 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Imagine if you all get together and start having problems. He then proceeds to hang out with another woman unbeknownst to you, divulging your relationship info to her. If you're okay with this continue. If you think he would be a horrible boyfriend to do something like that to you then get rid of him. 1
LilGirlandOW Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 stick around and you turn into me... its a sad place to be, the OW, share all these amazing times together, complete peace and bliss until he goes home.... to her please dont get in to deep, your heart will thank you
Astrocreep2046 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Imagine if you all get together and start having problems. He then proceeds to hang out with another woman unbeknownst to you, divulging your relationship info to her. If you're okay with this continue. If you think he would be a horrible boyfriend to do something like that to you then get rid of him. This guy does not sound like a good guy to me. I understand people have problems and they are unhappy. Can't fault someone for growing apart from the one they are with. It happens. What I can fault him for is cheating. Make no mistake he is going down that path. He should break up with that person and move out. It's the decent thing to do. He isn't doing that. He is taking the easier road because he gets to be with you without having to man up and break it off with her. Ask yourself how hurt you would be if you were the girl he lives with. Then ask yourself if you want any part of the inevitable pain and heartache he is going to cause her. This is not a chance at love. This is a chance at a cluster****. This isn't the Notebook in reverse. 1
Sunshine87 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 I believe in the motto: "You shouldnt build your happiness on someone's sorrow". I think you should stay away from him. Tell him that even though you love hanging out wit him/ enjoy his company, you are aware of his relationship and often try to accord respect to couples in relationships. Consequently, you think you should just let things be..and if the relationship ends in the future he could contact you for a clean start. He will respect you for that. Two possible scenarios here: He won't leave his girlfriend but enjoys your company. Many people complain about their S/Os. Some call it emotional cheating. I don't know. Other alternative is that he might actually leave her for you if you continue to develop this "friendship". I'm sure you're aware of people who end relationships and jump right into another. Well this is the sort of scenario. Some people feel comfortable starting a relationship on these sort of grounds because people are generally selfish. But I don't think I could at this point in my life. So the truth is: yes, many people leave their current s/o's for other people. My ex led me for another woman and is currently engaged to her. It is very common. But is that the sort of foundation you want to lay for a long lasting relationship? In addition, don't forget that there is no guarantee that he will leave the relationship.
KatZee Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 We've been hanging out a lot. (Again, no sex.) He tells me how unhappy he is with his girlfriend, yadda yadda. What my problem is, is that we seem to really like each other and feelings are developing more and more. This sucks, as he is still with this other girl. Should I stop seeing him? Could this be a chance at love? Is my time being wasted? What should I do?? Don't be flattered at all that he's showing you attention. If he's willing to cheat with you, he will cheat on you. And make no mistake, cheating doesn't have to be physical. Talking to you from morning till night? Hanging out one on one? You're well on your way to an emotional affair and that's not fair to his girlfriend, no matter HOW unhappy they are. Do you really think she'd be thrilled to find out her boyfriend is giving another woman more attention? This has "bad karma" written all over it. Trust me. Don't be THAT girl. I fell for this exact same thing with my ex. He was with his girlfriend for many years, we met, we were flirting, there was obviously something between us, and he spent 2-3 months emotionally cheating on her with me, until he finally dumped her for me. It was probably the worst relationship I've ever been in. Despite how "unhappy" he and his friends claimed he had been with her, despite him saying he didn't love her and hadn't loved her, despite him saying I wasn't a rebound... he wound up keeping in contact with her behind my back, and he wound up having sex with her behind my back. Karma hit me hardcore because then what he did to his ex, he did to me. He wound up cheating on me again, this time with someone else. He emotionally disconnected, met a new girl and wound up dumping me for her. Everything always comes full circle. This is not starting out on the right foot, and you're asking to be played down the line. Any guy who is too big a coward to end a relationship the right way before starting something else is just asking for trouble.
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