BornToDie Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 I really do think I'm over analyzing this, but I want a second opinion. I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 and a half years, and I love him very much. We broke up last summer, however, and I began hooking up with someone else. It only lasted a month and a half or so. He was nice to begin with, but towards the end, I felt very hurt by him. I loved hanging out with him because he's hilarious and fun, but at the time, I was very vulnerable and felt very much led on by him. He was very insensitive and narcissistic about it. I didn't see or talk to him for a very long time after that, and my boyfriend and I reconciled, but lately, he's made sort of a comeback in my life, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. I don't see him often anymore, so whenever he contacts me, it's usually through text or social networking. Over the past few weeks, he often strikes up a conversation through something I've posted. Two weekends ago, he happened to see me in public, and he sent something to me saying how "adorable" I looked. He likes and comments my pictures saying that I'm cute (I realize that sounds kind of juvenile, but I'm in my 20s and have Instagram). This past weekend, my boyfriend was helping a best friend move, so I was left with nothing to do all weekend. I posted something about it, and my friend responded, hinting around that he was playing an Xbox game alone. Finally, he invited me to join, and I thought, sure, why not? My intentions were completely innocent. I came over, and to my surprise, his roommate had gone to a party, leaving us alone together on the couch. It was so weird to me because he was being so talkative and friendly. The last time he'd acted so nice was when I met him before we hooked up. When I said I was hungry, he got up and cooked for me. I almost get the feeling like he maybe wanted to try and hook up with me, like he was "feeling me out" with questions. He asked me what I'd been doing, and finally he asked where my boyfriend was and why I wasn't hanging out with him that night. When I said he was only out of town, I got an, "Ohhhh. Okay." I didn't want anything to be weird, so when we finished the game, I put on my shoes and said I was going. He just said, "Yeah, I guess I'm going to bed, then," and didn't say much at all after that. He just gave me a hug and walked me out, and that was it. I feel pretty proud of myself that we were able to hang out and it be platonic, almost like there's closure. However, today, he messaged me, "Hey, so Saturday night was fun. Why don't we do it again sometime this week?" and then suggested maybe we do it tomorrow. I didn't expect that at all. I'm kind of weary about it, and my best friend (who introduced me to the guy) is flipping out because she thinks there's something more going on, like he has some underlying motive. I like being friends with him, but do you think there's really anything else to it?
Keenly Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Would you be mad if your boyfriend invited a girl he hooked up with to the movies alone ? I don't think this guy wants to be just your friend.
melodicintention Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Men and women cannot be friends when there is sexual attraction involved. If he is attracted to you, then YES, he does indeed have an underlying motive. It's based on biology and the fact that men are programmed to spread their seed. He might not know it, but science has proven again and again (and a famous movie with Billy Crystal & Meg Ryan) that men are motivated to spread their seed. And any guy who only contacts you through texting and social networking is taking the lazy man's approach. Ya, he's got an agenda, and it's likely not favorable to you babe (that is, depending on what you want out of this situation).
whichwayisup Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 You say this guy is insensitive and also a narcissist, so my suggestion is, keep your distance. DO NOT spend one on one time with him. His intentions are not pure, he's playing you a bit and eventually he will say something on facebook like "hey, thanks for coming over to my house and hanging out." which will cause problems with your boyfriend. Bottom line is, this guy is a player and he's trouble, stay away from him.
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