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Yeah maybe I'm overanalyzing again....but I'm going to ask for your take anyway

Imajerk17

By Imajerk17
in Dating

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SJC2008 Established Member

SJC2008

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That's nice. I wouldn't suggest telling a girl you've never met and have only exchanged one email with that though. :)

 

Can't help it if you can't tell the difference...

 

I can tell the difference as my story is a 'story'. His wasn't it was a couple lines and you're treating it as he told some long story like I did.

tbf Established Member

tbf

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I'm going to suggest a top down approach to dating for men. Start with a big picture with very little granular detail about who you are but with sufficient interesting possibilities. Use wit and keep it relaxed.

 

Save the granular detail for when you actually meet her on dates, letting her get to know you a little at a time, date by date. When you swamp someone at the beginning with too much information, they're going to be taken aback.

 

Think about it another way. When you first meet someone for work or socially, don't you get overwhelmed when they treat you like their best friend and confidante?

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Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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I can tell the difference as my story is a 'story'. His wasn't it was a couple lines and you're treating it as he told some long story like I did.

 

He said that she wrote back a long email, and the reason he included the details he did was to match the length of her email.

 

That said, my point remains. 2nd email. Now's not the time to announce one's failures and hardships and struggles. Now's the time to say, "Hey, I think you're cool because of ______; and I think we get along great because I ________ too!"

SJC2008 Established Member

SJC2008

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Chill. They're exchanging first and second emails, not life stories. Save the good stuff for when they meet for a date.

 

You and SG are purposefully taking me out of context to support your argument. I told SG I didn't agree that he was showing insecurity and then told her what kind of woman I'm trying to meet and that she'd embrace my story. Then she says 'Well that's not something for a second email'. Obviously!

 

You're doing the same thing with your quote of my resonse to eastcoast girl. I didn't say xyz should be in a second email. It was an animated/sarcastic response to her becuase I have no clue how "I struggled at first getting into the movements but I kept at it" partly because well, "the hard is what makes something good right? Besides I can be stubborn" equals TMI, insecurity, can't lift a sack of feathers and is uncoordianted.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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You and SG are purposefully taking me out of context to support your argument. I told SG I didn't agree that he was showing insecurity and then told her what kind of woman I'm trying to meet and that she'd embrace my story. Then she says 'Well that's not something for a second email'. Obviously!

 

But, that's exactly what he did.

SJC2008 Established Member

SJC2008

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But, that's exactly what he did.

 

What? Showed insecurity?

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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What? Showed insecurity?

 

Are you intentionally being difficult? :confused:

 

You admit ("Obviously!") that you wouldn't tell a story like yours in a second email. But a story like yours is exactly what the OP did, in a second email.

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Imajerk17 Established Member

Imajerk17

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Thanks everyone for the responses.

 

She wrote back. I got her #.

 

I definitely get that what I put in that email could have been TMI though. Lesson learned. I won't make that mistake again.

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Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Thanks everyone for the responses.

 

She wrote back. I got her #.

 

I definitely get that what I put in that email could have been TMI though. Lesson learned. I won't make that mistake again.

 

:):bunny:

 

Go get yourself a basketball player, jerk! ;)

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SJC2008 Established Member

SJC2008

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Are you intentionally being difficult? :confused:

 

You admit ("Obviously!") that you wouldn't tell a story like yours in a second email. But a story like yours is exactly what the OP did, in a second email.

 

I'm going off of what's in the OP, the couple lines he quoted is not a story. Yes he did say he matched her length but why does that mean the entire email was about what we're agrguing about? We don't know wha't was in the rest of it so I'm going off of what I see. If he comes back and says he told some life story I'll agree with all of you.

Floridita Member

Floridita

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This entire thread is why I gave up on internet dating.

  • Like 1
SJC2008 Established Member

SJC2008

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Thanks everyone for the responses.

 

She wrote back. I got her #.

 

I definitely get that what I put in that email could have been TMI though. Lesson learned. I won't make that mistake again.

 

Listen, those of us who have used OLD have learned a thing or two about TMI early on. Grant it we didn't see your entire email and if I did my opinion could change. But I don't think you did anything wrong and I don't think showed insecurity either, nor did a few of the women here:) Most importantly, nor did the woman whose number you just got! Good luck.

Edited by SJC2008
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Imajerk17 Established Member

Imajerk17

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Listen, those of us who have used OLD have learned a thing or two about TMI early on. Grant it we didn't see your entire email and if I did my opinion could change. But I don't think you did anything wrong and I don't think showed insecurity either, nor did a few of the women here:) Most importantly, nor did the woman whose number you just got! Good luck.

 

Thanks man! I always appreciate your level-headed take.

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Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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I see nothing "cringe-worthy" about your e-mail. I think you're hugely over-analyzing, and anyone who would discount you for anything in that e-mail would be as well.

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carhill Established Member

carhill

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Did she say 'yes' to your asking her out on a date?

  • Like 1
Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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Put it this way, if I told a guy what I do for a living and he said: "I always struggled with math. I worked hard at just not failing." It would be a big turn off. Seriously. :o

 

In real life context, where we are interacting and there are sparks, I perhaps wouldn't mind as much. But when all you have is a profile and 1 email, it's easy to next someone.

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SJC2008 Established Member

SJC2008

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I wouldn't date you, no offense.

 

Of course you wouldn't. I had to take two remedials before I could take college algebra lol

carhill Established Member

carhill

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Put it this way, if I told a guy what I do for a living and he said: "I always struggled with math. I worked hard at just not failing." It would be a big turn off. Seriously. :o

 

In real life context, where we are interacting and there are sparks, I perhaps wouldn't mind as much. But when all you have is a profile and 1 email, it's easy to next someone.

OP, this underscores the point I was making with my prior brief post. Get to pressing flesh and *then* get into all these details, if you must. Remember, dating is supposed to be fun. Leave the serious stuff for later and spoon it out situationally. To put it in terms of your thread title, think less and feel more. Go with the flow. Good luck.

  • Like 1
Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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OP, this underscores the point I was making with my prior brief post. Get to pressing flesh and *then* get into all these details, if you must. Remember, dating is supposed to be fun. Leave the serious stuff for later and spoon it out situationally. To put it in terms of your thread title, think less and feel more. Go with the flow. Good luck.

 

Ding ding ding!

Estate Established Member

Estate

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Emailed a girl on Match. She wrote me back a very nice expansive email. I wrote her back, saying I was really impressed she got to play basketball at the college level, partly because "I was not a natural athlete growing up".

 

She knows how into working out I am now and I told her my goal at the end of the year is to become a (part-time) fitness instructor along with my current career. I also told her in this email that "I struggled at first getting into the movements but I kept at it" partly because well, "the hard is what makes something good right? Besides I can be stubborn".

 

How cringe-worthy was it to admit this? I mean we all have issues but I feel I made a mistake admitting this to her in a second email. I did this because (a) she was self-deprecating for a bit and I wanted to match her (b) I wanted to match the length of her email....

 

Yes, you are over analysing... this is online dating, you've exchanged, what? 2 emails? You've never met? Never dated? Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh, guys just STOP.!!!!

William Established Member

William

Posted
Posted

Banned a troll and cleaned up a few off-topic posts. Carry on.

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