EnglishTea Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Hello! I am new to this so I hope I am doing it right Ok so here I go...I have a friend who's house I regularly visit (not so much these days but over the past few months I have) and I think I may have misplaced my bracelet at her house (which is incredibly important to me as my grandmother bought it me just before she passed away) but she hasn't said anything to me? I know you may think "well that's not nice of you to accuse your friend of doing such a thing" but she has done things similar to this in the past. Once I left my hair ribbon at her house and was asking if she knew where it had gone, she said she didn't. Only for me to spot it behind a teddy on her shelf, so I asked if it was mine (she doesn't wear hair ribbons and also it is a handmade one, not one you could find in a shop) and she said "yeah must be, I wonder how it got up there" yeah, I wonder too... And once I left a jumper in her room and I realised the next day so I just asked her if she could keep an eye out for it to which she replied yes she would, but still to this day it hasn't been found. Despite her room being really small! So that makes me wonder also. My jumper is definitely in her room because that is where I changed out of it and also she keeps her bedroom door locked so no one other than herself really goes in it. And I have checked all in my car and house, nowhere to be found :/ However, I'm not too bothered about the jumper. But I have misplaced my bracelet and the two previous events have made me wonder if that too has been left at her house yet she hasn't said anything. I would never, ever want to think a friend is capable of doing such a thing. I have turned my entire house upside down and I can only think I have left it at her house when I have stayed over. I have mentioned it but she just said it wasn't there. Maybe it isn't and I'm being paranoid now, but after she has decided to hide my ribbon and my jumper perhaps she has hidden my bracelet too. Any idea on how I could raise this issue with her without sounding too harsh? Or even if I should say anything at all? I stay over at other friends houses often but I never seem to loose stuff there, it really only just seems to be when I stay at this certain girls.
2sure Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Tell her you definitely left your bracelet at her house and that you need to get it back. When she says she doesn't have it, say you don't understand how that is possible because you are sure.And leave it at that. She should suddenly find it after that. If not, she steals. 1
kobekobekobe Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 hmm, very difficult. I wonder if it is feasible that her mum could have tidied your ribbon away on her shelf? Perhaps not if her room is locked as you say. As you have also experienced your jumper going missing at her house maybe it's time to stop giving her the benefit of the doubt. If she does have it in her possession as well as other objects of yours it may be that she really admires or is even slightly jealous of you. It's not uncommon for this kind of thing to happen. Either way it is a sensitive issue. This is obviously a precious object for you and the main thing is that you get it back, hopefully without hurting her feelings in the process (whether she has or hasn't taken it). Probably your only option is to find a way of indirectly expressing to her how important this particular thing is to you without accusing her. Maybe talk about it in a group situation, but without letting anyone else know that you suspect her. Stress how upset you are to have lost it and make it clear that it is something that you will continue to look for. If she doesn't volunteer any information after that perhaps leave it a day and ask her directly if she has seen it, stating that having retraced your steps you are now 90% sure you left it in her room. Keep it light and offer to help her look for it. Even if she says no you might get a better idea of if she is telling the truth by asking her. I have no idea if that helps but I guess it's what I would do. If she has taken it you don't want to embarrass her, 1. because it's not nice despite what she may have done and 2. because you are even less likely to get it back. I had something similar when I was about 15 and a spotted a prized jumper of mine under my friend's bed (she was showing me her new guitar) that I had been asking everyone about several weeks before. Even though I saw it there I was too embarrassed to say anything! I just let her have it and put it down to experience. Good luck. 1
Author EnglishTea Posted June 18, 2013 Author Posted June 18, 2013 Thank you both that was really helpful! I sent a text last night to everyone who's house I have recently visited explaining the situation. She is the only person who did not text me back despite being on her phone as she was on Facebook on it uploading photos. I've come to the conclusion it is definitely at hers, I'm going to give her one more chance to hand it over and then that is it. Of all the bracelets I have ever worn at hers, it is the only one that is special to me that has gone! I am so frustrated and upset right now. I'm done with her, I admire many of my friends but I would never steal from them Her mum can't have moved it as she house shares with some girls, that is why she always locks her door, even if she just goes to the loo she will lock it. So it's very doubtful someone else has taken it in her room. Thanks again for replying
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