have you ever had an ex reappear?

[Enna]

A combination of reasons. Sometimes they feel guilty. Sometimes they are weak and can't bear being on their own. But I really do believe that they don't get to miss you (for WHATEVER reasons) until proper NC.

 

Most recent ex keeps hammering on about how he thinks about me so much and how he 'doesn't want to lose me' and the bizarre 'I have loved you so much'. Well he shouldn't have bloody dumped me then should he?

[hotpotato]

Yes, several.

However, it usually takes more than 3 months for them to reappear. They think the grass is greener, but usually its not.

 

I think what happened was some woman came along who was very good at (mis)representing themselves. Then they show their true colors once they think theyve got him. I even had an ex who got stabbed by his flame then wanted to come back to me. Pursued me for several years. There was no way in he!! I was taking him back. I do believe he was/is genuine. We could have made it work if he hadn't spent the previous years eroding my trust. I guess he had a hard time with the girlfriends because even to this day he says, "You know, I never had to yell at you." I'm laid back. Sometimes I get depressed but I dont get mad at people easily at all, which is something many men take for granted.

 

I have no idea if current ex will reappear though. Whatever.

[hotpotato]

Most of mind have, but much longer down the road after a break-up. One came back a month later with some lame excuse of wanting to give me back my Tupperware, but at that point, I was so pissed off and angry, I told him to keep it. He still pops up, testing the waters almost a year later, but I have no feelings for him. He dumped me in a very crummy way. One came back 10 years later and several others in a time frame in between. With every single one, the feelings were gone by the time they got their heads out of their a**es!

 

Amen.

I was reading about what someone called a 'tape delay.' After a breakup, you feel horrible, but ex doesnt. They are out dating (probably before they dumped you) and what not so they dont feel the pain until months or years later down the road. By that time dumpee has cooled to them. They get a dose of their own medicine. I love it.

[aloneinaz]

My last ex and I broke up several times. Usually when she was stressed out, overwhelmed w/her life and in a *itchy mood. She projected all her life challenges onto me and felt I was what was causing her un-happiness in her life.

 

The second to the last time we broke up, she got all *itchy in front of her freind to me. i walked away. She came to me 15 min later and I told her i didnt like it. She just wanted to go home since I had the odacity to call her out. We didn't talk on the way home. 10 days went by and she reached out thru a closure letter that said she missed me. I stupidly tried again w/her under the condition that she go to therapy. She agreed. Shockinly, she didn't go consistently and simply wasn't able to change. She really let her hair down and got too comfortable around me. She was quick to anger, would be short and snippy to me, talk to me w/a poor tone, etc.. She's just an emotional train wreck and almost three weeks later I'm glad that I pissed her off and told her it was getting old, the way she was talking to me. Her psycho Type A, controlling flaired and she said she was done.

 

Good riddance.

[eddyctv]

I am in the same boat as you...we've broken up a few times, for only a week or two...she was always the one to do the breaking, because she is the OW. Before the last time we broke up, I told her I am ready to move on with her, but out of the blue I got an email from her saying "I need time to think, please dont hate me, but i know you will because I would" etc...

 

Now she wont answer my texts, emails, phone calls etc...i know this time its over.

 

My ex took the cowards way out, ignored all my texts and calls for months.

 

Im done contacting but hope to hear from him one day.

 

Has anyone had an ex reappear?

[scorpio1978]

I took a Human Sexuality class in college which was taught by a brilliant professor and the "tape delay" you read of does exist. Women are the ones usually crushed at first. They are crying, beating themselves, up feeling worthless, etc. Men, on the other hand in MOST cases, are out drinking, ( if they drink), hanging out with new people and just living their lives, but their reactions are delayed. Once they start processing things, the other party has moved on. It's quite annoying isn't it. But, your pain will pass and hopefully once they realize what they have done, if they ever do, you are moved on and it's amazing. The time my one ex dumped me, telling me he didn't feel a "spark" but really was getting back with his ex GF, I was devastated, betrayed, all of that stuff. He came back one month later with "Hey, I need to see you. I have your Tupperware I need to give back". The girl I was before would have jumped at the chance to see him for anything, but I was so angry once I heard the truth that I said "oh, that's considerate of you, but you can keep it" His response was "Really?! You're so mad at me that you won't even see me and talk to me?". His emotions were at an all time high and because I didn't care at all, I was able to say "No. It's just plastic Tupperware. I don't need it. Why are you acting crazy?". And it felt amazing!!!

[Bozena]

All my exes reappeared. The strange thing with me though is not that they just reappear, but that they reappear years after. In some cases I had said: just who the heck are you? No it isn't that I had so many exes but if someone comes 12 years after, without hearing of him in the interim and send a text (yes I have the same number like an eternity) Hi it's George, how can I remember who the hell he is.

In most of my friends case some of them also reappear. But the thing is that you also need luck. Because at the time that they reappear you have totally forgot about them.

[hotpotato]

I took a Human Sexuality class in college which was taught by a brilliant professor and the "tape delay" you read of does exist. Women are the ones usually crushed at first. They are crying, beating themselves, up feeling worthless, etc. Men, on the other hand in MOST cases, are out drinking, ( if they drink), hanging out with new people and just living their lives, but their reactions are delayed. Once they start processing things, the other party has moved on. It's quite annoying isn't it. But, your pain will pass and hopefully once they realize what they have done, if they ever do, you are moved on and it's amazing. The time my one ex dumped me, telling me he didn't feel a "spark" but really was getting back with his ex GF, I was devastated, betrayed, all of that stuff. He came back one month later with "Hey, I need to see you. I have your Tupperware I need to give back". The girl I was before would have jumped at the chance to see him for anything, but I was so angry once I heard the truth that I said "oh, that's considerate of you, but you can keep it" His response was "Really?! You're so mad at me that you won't even see me and talk to me?". His emotions were at an all time high and because I didn't care at all, I was able to say "No. It's just plastic Tupperware. I don't need it. Why are you acting crazy?". And it felt amazing!!!

 

 

I could feel the spark leaving the last relationship. He was becoming testy and I was,too. Turns out he was talking to another girl.

[Bozena]

I took a Human Sexuality class in college which was taught by a brilliant professor and the "tape delay" you read of does exist. Women are the ones usually crushed at first. They are crying, beating themselves, up feeling worthless, etc. Men, on the other hand in MOST cases, are out drinking, ( if they drink), hanging out with new people and just living their lives, but their reactions are delayed. Once they start processing things, the other party has moved on. It's quite annoying isn't it. But, your pain will pass and hopefully once they realize what they have done, if they ever do, you are moved on and it's amazing. The time my one ex dumped me, telling me he didn't feel a "spark" but really was getting back with his ex GF, I was devastated, betrayed, all of that stuff. He came back one month later with "Hey, I need to see you. I have your Tupperware I need to give back". The girl I was before would have jumped at the chance to see him for anything, but I was so angry once I heard the truth that I said "oh, that's considerate of you, but you can keep it" His response was "Really?! You're so mad at me that you won't even see me and talk to me?". His emotions were at an all time high and because I didn't care at all, I was able to say "No. It's just plastic Tupperware. I don't need it. Why are you acting crazy?". And it felt amazing!!!

 

This is true. I hadn't take any related courses, but my experiences and my interaction with people are telling me so. In the beginning of a break up we really fell into depression and then forgot everything.

But to me I really don't know what they are thinking about returning years after. I mean, to return after some months it is normal, but to return years after and expect the other one to remember you

[Nicoleiia]

I have one particular ex who keeps reappearing year after year (probably to serve me breadcrumbs) and I just ignore him. Other than that, im happy my crumby exes don't reappear. Most of them were awful. I do however wouldn't mind one in particular to come back begging so I could swiftly reject them. That would be awesome. Ah, wishful thinking!