bson1257 Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Is it possible for a man to date a woman who earns a lot more than they do without feeling inferior? If a woman makes 3 or 4 times what a guy earns, then it probably would be very difficult for the guy to feel like a man and not constantly doubt himself over his lack of financial success.
crude Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Is it possible for a man to date a woman who earns a lot more than they do without feeling inferior? If a woman makes 3 or 4 times what a guy earns, then it probably would be very difficult for the guy to feel like a man and not constantly doubt himself over his lack of financial success. It'd only be difficult to feel like a man if you think being a man means making more than all women. Even if a guy makes more than his date, he doesn't make more than female billionaires, so is he supposed to think he's not a man because of that. It's 2013, many men are smarter than that. 1
Casablanca Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Is it possible for a man to date a woman who earns a lot more than they do without feeling inferior? If a woman makes 3 or 4 times what a guy earns, then it probably would be very difficult for the guy to feel like a man and not constantly doubt himself over his lack of financial success. I wouldn't have a problem with it...I teach, so if I date someone who isn't a teacher, there is a decent chance they will make more than me...I do make good money, my district is one of the best paying ones when compared to standard of living...I'd also have no problem being a stay at home dad if my wife brought in big bucks. I'd have no problem with it, I'd love to be able to work on all kinds of projects around the house, experiment with new recipes every day, etc and I wouldn't have any problem with it 1
Eggplant Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I made more than 2x what my ex did, and he worked more than 2x the hours I did. We were from SUCH different backgrounds, universes really, that it wasn't even a fair comparison. He came from an impoverished family of 14 in a 3rd world country. He had by far the most education of his family -- 8 years. So it wasn't as though we had the same opportunities presented to us. He was just as smart as I, and was competent in EVERYTHING. If I threatened his ability to be the breadwinner, he threatened my ability to be the homemaker. He cooked, sewed, cleaned, everything. And yet, we agreed that still I would be a stay-at-home mom for a period, and he'd support us. Oh well, that's history.
hppr Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Is it possible for a man to date a woman who earns a lot more than they do without feeling inferior? If a woman makes 3 or 4 times what a guy earns, then it probably would be very difficult for the guy to feel like a man and not constantly doubt himself over his lack of financial success. It all depends on the woman and how she treats him. Some women simply are not capable of treating men with respect unless those men are on an 'equal level' with them in terms of economics and education. 2
thefooloftheyear Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I made more than 2x what my ex did, and he worked more than 2x the hours I did. We were from SUCH different backgrounds, universes really, that it wasn't even a fair comparison. He came from an impoverished family of 14 in a 3rd world country. He had by far the most education of his family -- 8 years. So it wasn't as though we had the same opportunities presented to us. He was just as smart as I, and was competent in EVERYTHING. If I threatened his ability to be the breadwinner, he threatened my ability to be the homemaker. He cooked, sewed, cleaned, everything. And yet, we agreed that still I would be a stay-at-home mom for a period, and he'd support us. Oh well, that's history. Sound like my type of lady.. TFY
MomsSpaghetti Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 It depends, really. I admit that I'd feel a little inferior if she was a high-earning Physics professor at MIT. If she was a high-earning model or actress, though, I wouldn't care because I'd still feel smarter and more successful by my definition of success.
SuperGeek Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 (edited) I'm a man and I prefer to date women who make a good sum of money. I have zero issues with women making more money than me or being worth more. I've dated several lawyers, a business owner, and a woman who inherited a few million in my past. Those relationships ended only out of personal incompatibility and not monetary goals. At least that is the reason I was given as each of them departed out of my life. I do not feel inferior to them in any way. A relationship to me is not about financial number goals, but rather just sharing a life together. I don't strictly require a woman make a good sum of money, but I can tell you from personal experience that it's just much nicer when they do. I was able to take more trips and generally be around them more because we had more funds. These women dated me (at least for a duration) because they wanted to be with me and nothing to do with finances. This is extremely refreshing as there are just so many gold digging women out there these days. Lastly, women that have money are extremely understanding about prenuptial agreements and other private contracts in relation to marriage. Most of them have brought up the prenuptial agreement talk with me first so that they can protect themselves from financial liability in the event of a relationship break. I have no problems with it because I have my own financial nest egg I'd like to protect as well. I hope to date more women that make a lot of dough. I have no problem if they make more than me. The more money they make the less liability I will face in a divorce court! Not to mention, if they make more than me, I know for sure they are with me for non-monetary reasons. SuperGeek Edited June 17, 2013 by SuperGeek 5
sillyanswer Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Is it possible for a man to date a woman who earns a lot more than they do without feeling inferior? I've dated while not having a job or income of any kind and didn't feel inferior about the women earning more than me. So, yes, it is.
SuperGeek Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Not at all. Not sure how you are arriving at that. If a woman has more financial wealth than I do and they continue to be in a relationship with me, it's a pretty good bet they aren't in it for monetary gain at least in regards to what I could give them in that department. But isn't that kind of dating them for their money still? 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Is it possible for a man to date a woman who earns a lot more than they do without feeling inferior? If a woman makes 3 or 4 times what a guy earns, then it probably would be very difficult for the guy to feel like a man and not constantly doubt himself over his lack of financial success. I would prefer someone who makes around the same. I've seen my married friends state playfully, "Because I make more $ than him" ESPECIALLY if it's the wife and though it's all in fun, it does create a bit of a power struggle. That said, the only type of woman who would make 3 to 4 times more than me that I'd even come in contact with are either high powered executives and big law lawyers or specialty doctors. The first two would have personalities I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. The third I'd consider. Two times more is more realistic. I might have issues with it at first, but I'd probably come around. It's not like I'd be contributing nothing.
Revolver Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Most guys are absolutely ok with this. However many women who make bank like to use this as an excuse to why they don't get the male attention they feel they deserve 1
SuperGeek Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 (edited) Agreed and I think a lot of females making a lot of dough would probably just reject guys that don't make the same or more in regard to financial affluence status. I've witnessed it many times over the past decade, one such case involved a horrible two year divorce with the female paying the male alimony. Some women just view it as 'dating down' and feel they deserve 'better'. Most guys are absolutely ok with this. However many women who make bank like to use this as an excuse to why they don't get the male attention they feel they deserve Edited June 17, 2013 by SuperGeek 1
mammasita Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I've never rejected a man based on his earnings. I made more than 3x what my ex did. I'm pretty sure he felt emasculated. Key word in my above blurb -> ex. 1
Ripnet Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Agreed and I think a lot of females making a lot of dough would probably just reject guys that don't make the same or more in regard to financial affluence status. I've witnessed it many times over the past decade, one such case involved a horrible two year divorce with the female paying the male alimony. Some women just view it as 'dating down' and feel they deserve 'better'. Personally I wouldn't accept alimony from a woman. Child support yes if I end ended up with the kids but that' s for the kids. More and more women are getting higher paying jobs and majority of these women won't date down. There are only so many high earning males out there so they will end up alone.
SuperGeek Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Why not? I sure would. I'd just direct it into my investments. In reality this would never happen because I've never met a wealthy woman who would get married without an iron tight prenuptial agreement. Not a single one. The women I've dated with cash were all VERY protective of it beyond what most wealthy men require. Personally I wouldn't accept alimony from a woman. Child support yes if I end ended up with the kids but that' s for the kids. More and more women are getting higher paying jobs and majority of these women won't date down. There are only so many high earning males out there so they will end up alone.
Woggle Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I have no problem with it at all. First of all if she doesn't need my money I know why she is there and if she is making her own she isn't taking mine. 1
Geiss Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 For a lot of men it is quite a problem if the women out earns him by a significant amount. They will make the guy feel like a loser. It's even worse if you end up getting married. Can you imagine going to your wife and asking her to open her pink purse because you need some money for something. And you have to use her money to buy her a gift on her birthday. Meanwhile she is working while you spend all the time with the kids, she gets jealous and resentful and the man is frustrated and emasculated. Personally I don't want to be purse whipped. It would be a problem for me.
crude Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 More and more women are getting higher paying jobs and majority of these women won't date down. There are only so many high earning males out there so they will end up alone. Actually they're alone by choice. A woman can always get laid, they usually have a friend zone guy to be an escort, they can pay for a young stud the way men pay for young women, they have their friends and family, can have children if they want, so alone for a highly paid woman isn't all that bad. 2
2sure Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 I have dated and even married men that earn less than me. As low key as I try to be about it, they always end up angry about it. I think it's because they eventually come to realize that I'm no smarter and no better than they are and they resent my luck vs their own. I don't know . Recently I dated a man that was a contractor working on my house. We went out three times. By the third date he had told me my car was a waste of money and that I wasted too much money going on vacations. He was not my financial advisor, he installed a bathroom.
salparadise Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 You can speak in generalities, but it may not be relevant at all to what works for two specific people. I'm dating someone who makes a lot of money, has advanced degrees, and is as smart as... well, I'm not sure exactly. I admire her on many levels and we seem to view and treat each other as equals in our day to day interactions. I don't know how it's going to work out. As long as we're dating in a style I can afford and she's reciprocating such that things are roughly equal it seems fine. The problem is going to come when she wants to do stuff I can't afford. I thought I had an idea of what she made based on her lifestyle, but then after I assembled some bits of info over time and ran the numbers I was shocked. It's unusual, that's for sure. 1
Ripnet Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Actually they're alone by choice. A woman can always get laid, they usually have a friend zone guy to be an escort, they can pay for a young stud the way men pay for young women, they have their friends and family, can have children if they want, so alone for a highly paid woman isn't all that bad. That's really still alone. Eventually those guy will get tired of it. Money doesn't make a person happy. My father used to be a millionaire. If a don't earn the money somehow I don't want it. Besides the last thing I want to do is deal with the ex. The sooner the ex is gone the better.
2sure Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 You can speak in generalities, but it may not be relevant at all to what works for two specific people. I'm dating someone who makes a lot of money, has advanced degrees, and is as smart as... well, I'm not sure exactly. I admire her on many levels and we seem to view and treat each other as equals in our day to day interactions. I don't know how it's going to work out. As long as we're dating in a style I can afford and she's reciprocating such that things are roughly equal it seems fine. The problem is going to come when she wants to do stuff I can't afford. I thought I had an idea of what she made based on her lifestyle, but then after I assembled some bits of info over time and ran the numbers I was shocked. It's unusual, that's for sure. I can tell you what worked for me with an example, if you don't mind. Let's use a vacation. I go ahead and say I have no problem booking the air and hotel. If the guy buys dinner every time we go out during the vacation, I feel we're square. Plus, it feels right because he is taking me to dinner. That's how I've done it and it seemed comfortable. 3
phineas Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Is it possible for a man to date a woman who earns a lot more than they do without feeling inferior? If a woman makes 3 or 4 times what a guy earns, then it probably would be very difficult for the guy to feel like a man and not constantly doubt himself over his lack of financial success. Women who make more money than me don't make me feel inferior, they blow my fricken mind at how they don't seem to be happy unless they are spending enough to live pay check to pay check. WTF?!??!
Southern Cal Dude Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 I make 80-90K so I don't know many women who make more. Even if she does, it doesn't bother me. I'm secure within myself and expect her to be as well. If she has a problem with me not making as much, then I would tell her not to let the door hit her in the ass on the way out.
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