Author Ryman Posted June 27, 2013 Author Posted June 27, 2013 Anyways so since that last exchange i made up my mind not to text her anymore, I got over her pretty easy. But what do you know just today this quick exchange goes down randomly. Her-"hey ryan!! u dont txt anymore!!! wats up??" Me(after a while of deciding whether to respond or not lol)-"hey its good to hear from you! Ive been really busy with school and family things. Whatve you been up to?" Her-"ooohh ok i see, nd nm just studyin alot too and workin :-) when are we goin out??" Me-"lol nerd, are you free at all this weekend?" Her-"yea friday night :-)" Me-"cool, Ill text you tomorrow because I gotta check something first :)" The reason Im waiting till tomorrow is my aunt just passed away and the funeral is tomorrow, so I want to make sure my family doesnt need me this weekend. Also Im trying to decide if I want to go out with her again. This situation just kinda bugs me now because I really just think shes afraid of commitments, she seems like that type, and it annoys me. I feel like going out with her one more night might clear some things up though as well.. idk any opinions on what you would do here?
ChatroomHero Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 I think you blew it because you are still letting her use you as her nice-guy fun date while she looks for someone else to bang. Honestly if I were I you if she responds back she wants to do something tell her you can't, you have a date that night. Quit letting her own you.
ChatroomHero Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Good list. One more: E) The constant rejection makes the guy more infatuated "you want what you can't have" syndrome, which translates into tons of wasted time and emotional heartache. I'm surprised everyone forgot about the most likely scenario: F) One day after spending tons of time and a good amount of money on her, she says, "Hey Ryman, come over and have dinner with me! I missed you, it will be a special dinner, I can't wait to see you!" Ryman gets ready, dresses well, puts on the cologne he bought because she said it was her favorite, wears the shirt she once said looks nice on him, stops off at the store and picks up a box of mixed chocolates and picks out the ones she said she doesn't like before...gets to the door and meets Keith, her new chef boyfriend that is cooking the 3 of them dinner. Ryman spends 3 hours listening to her talk up how great Keith is and how great it is that all 3 get a long so well. Then Ryman sits alone on the couch as they all watch a movie and her and Keith get all snuggly and touchy-feely. When the movie ends Keith has to go check something upstairs and she follows and they are gone for 20 minutes. When she gets back down her hair is all messed up and she gives Ryman a hug goodbye and says, "let's do this again soon." Ryman thinks, "She hugged me, I'm in!"
Carenth Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 You are still "going out" with her as a friend. You didn't state how you actually feel so stuff is going to be the same status quo. Basically she snapped her fingers once she realised you weren't texting her anymore and you jumped. Basically nothing has changed.
Carenth Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Chatroom hero I didn't mention that one because I would think people would have enough self respect to exit a fake friendship the second talk of a new squeeze is mentioned. Then again I guess there are people out there who like to torture themselves over what they can't have.
Author Ryman Posted June 27, 2013 Author Posted June 27, 2013 Chatroom hero I didn't mention that one because I would think people would have enough self respect to exit a fake friendship the second talk of a new squeeze is mentioned. Then again I guess there are people out there who like to torture themselves over what they can't have. Waiting 4 hours after her first text and saying maybe well go out this weekend if Im not busy isnt really jumping for her Id say, Im really not as into her as you all seem to think. I dont initiate any more of our convos. Ive actually never met more negative almost attack dog like advice givers before.. Im really not pushing this girl, I want to be absolutely 100% sure what her deal is, then go from there, Im the type of guy that hates any missed opportunity. Again, if she makes it absolutely clear to me in person that were gonna be nothing but friends, forever, and ever. I can easily forget her, no need to act like Im feverishly salvatating and stalking her facebook day and night hoping Ill find a way to get her to say yes. Im talking to two other girls at the moment but this one is the most fun.
Author Ryman Posted June 27, 2013 Author Posted June 27, 2013 (edited) I'm surprised everyone forgot about the most likely scenario: F) One day after spending tons of time and a good amount of money on her, she says, "Hey Ryman, come over and have dinner with me! I missed you, it will be a special dinner, I can't wait to see you!" Ryman gets ready, dresses well, puts on the cologne he bought because she said it was her favorite, wears the shirt she once said looks nice on him, stops off at the store and picks up a box of mixed chocolates and picks out the ones she said she doesn't like before...gets to the door and meets Keith, her new chef boyfriend that is cooking the 3 of them dinner. Ryman spends 3 hours listening to her talk up how great Keith is and how great it is that all 3 get a long so well. Then Ryman sits alone on the couch as they all watch a movie and her and Keith get all snuggly and touchy-feely. When the movie ends Keith has to go check something upstairs and she follows and they are gone for 20 minutes. When she gets back down her hair is all messed up and she gives Ryman a hug goodbye and says, "let's do this again soon." Ryman thinks, "She hugged me, I'm in!" FYI Im not a loser like that, Im not a spineless shapeless little boy, I dont take bull from anyone who dishes it to me. To be honest if someone disrespected me like you just did in person Id be in your face. No need to get offensive here, you dont know me, just because a chick confused me with a situation I havent experienced doesnt make me a clueless virgin. Just about every girl Ive gone out with that acts like her I eventually had sex with them(soon). Hence my confusion. So leave the insults at home child I was asking a question not searching for a personal attack on my character. Sorry but i can only take so many base-less insults before I have to snap and be clear. Edit: Not trying to be the internet tough guy, just voicing my irritation. Edited June 27, 2013 by Ryman
Carenth Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 (edited) Sorry if I come across as blunt. I don't like to sugar coat things though as I find it's the only way to get something across with most guys/girls on this forum. I don't give false hope because I think that is cruel. I'm not saying you are obsessing over her, however I do believe you are being very indecisive (out of fear of rejection) and basically shrugging off what she has already told you. What I'm criticising is how you're tippy toeing around the issue because she shot you down a few pages ago. Still pretending to be her friend when you clearly want more than that. You ask a question on a public forum you will get answers and some of them won't be the ones you are looking for. Edited June 27, 2013 by Carenth
Author Ryman Posted June 27, 2013 Author Posted June 27, 2013 Sorry if I come across as blunt. I don't like to sugar coat things though as I find it's the only way to get something across with most guys/girls on this forum. I don't give false hope because I think that is cruel. I'm not saying you are obsessing over her, however I do believe you are being very indecisive (out of fear of rejection) and basically shrugging off what she has already told you. What I'm criticising is how you're tippy toeing around the issue because she shot you down a few pages ago. Still pretending to be her friend when you clearly want more than that. You ask a question on a public forum you will get answers and some of them won't be the ones you are looking for. I do appreciate bluntness, I just felt boundaries were overstepped but I do understand why you are the way you are here, sorry for snapping. I do want to make my intentions clear in person. I really rather be rejected in person, just how I am. That way I could be like, "loud and clear" and just ignore her with a clear mind. I cant explain it its just how I operate, like I said I hate anything text and prefer to hear anything verbally. Thank you for the tough love help though
BeholdtheMan Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Ryman, I think you need to go no contact with this chick. She's either 1) mind-gaming you or 2) not that into you or 3) both of the above If you go no contact, it might reverse the dynamic between the two of you and result in her chasing you. If the relationship simply fades away after you go contact, just let it go and move on, plenty of fish in the sea. You'll at least be able to say you walked away on your own terms and with your dignity intact. I think how you messed up here is you were a bit wishy washy. After she gave you the "let's just be friends" schtick, I think it would've been wiser to simply state something like "I enjoyed our time together and I was genuinely attracted to you, but I'm not comfortable with being "just friends". I wish you good luck finding someone right for you". After that, I'd cut off contact. 1
Author Ryman Posted June 28, 2013 Author Posted June 28, 2013 Ryman, I think you need to go no contact with this chick. She's either 1) mind-gaming you or 2) not that into you or 3) both of the above If you go no contact, it might reverse the dynamic between the two of you and result in her chasing you. If the relationship simply fades away after you go contact, just let it go and move on, plenty of fish in the sea. You'll at least be able to say you walked away on your own terms and with your dignity intact. I think how you messed up here is you were a bit wishy washy. After she gave you the "let's just be friends" schtick, I think it would've been wiser to simply state something like "I enjoyed our time together and I was genuinely attracted to you, but I'm not comfortable with being "just friends". I wish you good luck finding someone right for you". After that, I'd cut off contact. Fair enough, I didnt realize how awkward asking someone out over text would feel for me.. lol so I didnt know how to respond. I shouldve been smart and waited till I saw her in person but oh well, lesson learned
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