Diesel_Power Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 This is lame but I am having issues with kissing my girlfriend haha. We have been together for exactly a year and she still doesn't want to do anything more than just a quick peck on the lips.. The simple, quick goodnight kiss. If it helps figure anything out, I am her first serious relationship, first kiss, first everything. Things are great between us, just not the kissing part. I've talked to her about it but she usually ends up mad every time I bring it up. She says it's just that she doesn't like kissing. She says she just simply thinks it's gross, and that it's not me or that I'm a bad kisser. She flat out doesnt like it. Ive asked her if shes not comfortable with me and she says thats not the case at all. The only thing she says that will fix it is time. Until she gets more comfortable with it, I have to be okay with the quick peck on the lips I guess. I'm just wondering if there is anything I can do to help her get more comfortable with it and less grossed out? I love her so I am willing to wait, but of course, I want more eventually. I don't want to go another year with just quick pecks on the lips. Any ideas?
will1988 Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 how old are you two? 13? If you are grown adults and have been dating around a year and have yet to do anything more than a peck on the lips, i think that makes you all best friends more than BF and GF... right? I could not handle a situation like that. I'm not a big maker-outer, but i def enjoy the other parts of an adult relationship involving sex and foreplay. I would look for a different partner, unless you are sure you are ok with the status quo?
Author Diesel_Power Posted June 17, 2013 Author Posted June 17, 2013 We are both 18. We have tried making out but like I said, she just thinks it's gross. And I'm okay with the status quo, just not the kissing part. We hold hands, cuddle up, stuff like that, but yeah, it makes me feel like we are 13 haha
KatZee Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 If she thinks it's gross and she doesn't like it, time isn't going to fix it. You either have to accept that this is part of who she is, or you can find someone else who is more physically compatible to you. 1
Author Diesel_Power Posted June 17, 2013 Author Posted June 17, 2013 And yes, I've asked her why she thinks it's disgusting and her answer is that she just thinks it's disgusting, nothing more. Confuses the hell out of me. That's why I'm here! Haha!
KatZee Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 And yes, I've asked her why she thinks it's disgusting and her answer is that she just thinks it's disgusting, nothing more. Confuses the hell out of me. That's why I'm here! Haha! She just doesn't like it. I know people who think it's gross. The spit, the feeling of saliva and tongue. Some people get grossed out at that. She's one of those people, has nothing to do with you.
Author Diesel_Power Posted June 17, 2013 Author Posted June 17, 2013 That's how I've come to understand it. I tried telling her that it makes it hard to stick around if I get nothing physical at all. Then she pulled the card that if I really love her, then it shouldn't be too hard to wait. And she said that she just can't get used to kissing because of the fact that she doesn't like it. I mean I would completely understand if this was about sex but it's about kissing.
sillyanswer Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Any ideas? I have one, but it's not compatible with your idea of wanting to wait even longer. My idea is that you leave her and find someone who likes more of the same things as you. Sorry if that's not what you want to hear. 3
KatZee Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 That's how I've come to understand it. I tried telling her that it makes it hard to stick around if I get nothing physical at all. Then she pulled the card that if I really love her, then it shouldn't be too hard to wait. And she said that she just can't get used to kissing because of the fact that she doesn't like it. I mean I would completely understand if this was about sex but it's about kissing. She contradicting herself and making no sense. She can't say, "If you loved me you'd wait" and then say "I can't get used to it because I don't like it." So which is it? Does she need time to be comfortable or does she just hate it? I'm getting the impression she just doesn't like it at all, and no amount of waiting is going to change a thing. It's not wrong of you to want to kiss, and it's not wrong if you leave her because of this incompatibility. Everyone deserves to be happy and to be with the person they can experience things they want with. It's just incompatibility here and "waiting" around just isn't fair to you or her. 3
KungFuJoe Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Op, Run. Run as fast as you can. Kissing is probably THE most important part about building and maintaining chemistry. 2
tricolors Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Yeah. You can't possibly have intimacy without kissing. Something is weird here. Either she's some kind of super religious person, or she has some psychological issue about kissing, which is weird, and would warrant psychological help. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 I would move on. Physical chemistry is important in a relationship, and if after a year she's still not comfortable kissing you, more time will likely not help a thing. It's her choice not to kiss you, but it's also your choice to find someone more physically compatible with you.
Feelin Frisky Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 ..., or she has some psychological issue about kissing, which is weird, and would warrant psychological help. Yes. It's called adolescence. This young lady seems to be stuck in child-land. When we come out of puberty the thought of such things as kissing changes from the child-like "grossness" to "who-gives-a-shi+-that's-some-good-sensation". Carrying on the way she has seems to have set her up to harden her stance and defend her childish territory. I don't know if there is hope of that changing entirely to what it needs to to be satisfying. If she's territorial and contentious, she may need to deal with being shunned to realize that she's wrong and a jackass. The only thing I can recommend is to be sure it's not an issue of halitosis. If you're sure your breath is OK and not noxious, just take it that she's got some serious growing up to do that may need some drastic measures--like breaking up with her. 1
Ripnet Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Did you have sex with her yet? Don't tell me she thinks sex is gross.
crederer Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 And yes, I've asked her why she thinks it's disgusting and her answer is that she just thinks it's disgusting, nothing more. Confuses the hell out of me. That's why I'm here! Haha! Women confusing? Well this is a first...... I dunno man sounds like you guys aren't having sex. Don't push it too hard. If it bothers you a lot then it simply sounds like you may not be compatible. I know that's not what you wanted to hear but.... One of my exes loved passionate kissing with a lot of tongue. I didn't mind the passionate part but I felt like she wanted me to lick her teeth clean. I didn't like the way she liked to be kissed. We broke up but it had nothing to do with the kissing. Sometimes you gotta just bite the bullet and do what you gotta do, as I'm sure sometimes she does things she doesn't want to do in order to make you happy as well.
shexy Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 If you've been together THAT long and she's not kissing you, it could be one of two things: 1. You're really a bad kisser, but she likes everything else about you, so she just avoids it. or 2. She's extremely immature 1
Titania22 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 We are both 18. We have tried making out but like I said, she just thinks it's gross. And I'm okay with the status quo, just not the kissing part. We hold hands, cuddle up, stuff like that, but yeah, it makes me feel like we are 13 haha I felt the same way about kissing when I was 18. Now I am told I am a good kisser, but alot of time has passed. Maybe just move on. People mature at different rates, and like me she is perhaps a late developer.
TheGuard13 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 You're likely sexually/physically incompatible. It happens. It could be happening because she's inexperienced, because she's not ready, or because she has some issues she needs to deal with, but the bottom line is that it bothers you. Her "If you really loved me" nonsense is manipulative and immature. If you really value the relationship, have a serious discussion about it. But at this point, I'd think about moving on. 1
Phantom888 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 This is lame but I am having issues with kissing my girlfriend haha. We have been together for exactly a year and she still doesn't want to do anything more than just a quick peck on the lips.. The simple, quick goodnight kiss. If it helps figure anything out, I am her first serious relationship, first kiss, first everything. I don't want to go another year with just quick pecks on the lips. Any ideas? There are some chemistry or incompatibility issues here. You can't expect to have intimacy without kissing passionately. If she just doesn't like the idea of kissing, that means she is not affectionate enough for you. Are you okay with that?
sweetheart5381 Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 I agree Phantom. When there is that certain spark with that someone special, you cant help but kiss... and kiss often, whenever opportunity arises, kids around or not Affection is the mainstay of the adult romantic relationship... it makes it special. Without affection, the relationship flounders imo. Everyone needs affection.
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