Lansing Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 So, I find as I get older (mid 30s) it is harder to meet new people and make new friends. I am involved with a lot of different events/activities/volunteering/ and have a broad variety of interests. I have a bunch of friends now but I am looking to meet new people that have more interest in arts/culture and I find that a lot of times I am going out exploring/doing things myself because friends are busy or just not interested. I don't mind going things by myself but just become frustrated lately about meeting new people. I am not into typical "guy" things like sports/drinking/etc and it seems like at most of these places that I meet new people they are mainly female. Overall I am friendly and talk with all kinds of people young and old but occasionally I will meet someone that I find interesting who seems to be well rounded, has a variety of interests, etc. In the past I have become friends with people who I have met waiting in line for a movie at a film fest, meeting randomly at a concert, etc. So, now to my question. How much effort to you put into trying to start a friendship with someone? Like, I am not sure how to make it clear to a girl that my interest is purely platonic regardless of how physically attractive they may be and have them know that I am not trying to "play" them. If you invite someone to hang out or to come out to an event and they don't respond do you just stop trying to contact them? Again, I am talking in a platonic sense. I am kind of in my "head" at this point and just thinking about a lot of things because I have tried to make effort to befriend a few people over the last year and it seems like the effort it wasted... It has got me thinking that I am coming across as creepy and that the girls are thinking I have ulterior motives. I don't know if there is anything I can do about that though of it girls are just suspicious of guys in general thinking they are trying to be "friends" for a backdoor route into dating them. Anyway, I know that was a lot of words but curious if others have had similar experiences. 1
meeji Posted June 19, 2013 Posted June 19, 2013 I am 28 and I don't put any effort into making new friends. Over the years, I have acquired a nice collection of very good friends and I don't feel any kind of pressure to make new ones. As I have gotten older, I found that I have less and less interest in new people. If I meet someone and we have a lot in common I usually open an invitation to something and if they pass the first time, I might make a second attempt and if they pass again I stop trying. I'm sure if is difficult for you, being a male in that most women probably assume you want a date. The best advice I can give is not to be shy. Go to the places you enjoy going and try to meet people with common interests. Also meetup.com might be a good idea to find groups and communities that you can join. good luck
Recommended Posts