treezy Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Okay guys, I have signed up for therapy sessions with a counselling professional to cope with my breakup. I was wondering if anyone here has any tips on how to prepare for the therapy session. I'll be having my first appointment this week and I really hope to make it a fruitful one. I have difficulty opening up as I'm quite the introvert and would like to find out the sort of questions a counsellor will normally ask during therapy. I'm currently on my 5th month post breakup and 2nd month NC. Hope therapy can work as I'm really tired of being stuck in this rut thinking of my ex boyfriend day in and day out when I'm sure he's already gotten a new girl by now.
mammasita Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Just be open, honest and willing to do the work - otherwise you're wasting your time. 4
SimonSerenade Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 This is my scenario when I start therapy next week, walk in, say hi, break down crying and unleash it all on this poor guys head.
Ale khun Posted June 17, 2013 Posted June 17, 2013 Hi I started therapy 3weeks ago and it's really helpful the first thing I recommend you it's to be honest an open with your feelings , the point it's see the therapist as your friend and let everything out . Don't feel ashamed if you have to cry , or if you get emotional talking about something specific . The other thing I recommend you it's to record your sessions so you have the complete "chat " with your therapist just in case you need it . Good luck
Heartbroken Eagle Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 I must confess to be considering going to a therapist. I'm almost 4 months after BU from a 12 year relationship. Only a handful of days when I have not cried, mainly because of her treatment of me and missing my son. Suffering from a serious lack of confidence, but realise that I've got to move on. Does therapy work??
maturityassets Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 I'll tell you right now therapy takes a while to change your outlook on life. You will feel the initial relief in the "talking cure" after each session; as long as you are completely honest and you are just releasing things from your chest. You have to be completely truthful to who you are to who you are at your core. Raw emotions tend to get released, the reason why they have tissue boxes right next to where you sit. Ultimately the goal in the therapy is to feel comfortable yourself, to relieve any suffering that hinders you just being happy. Those who have been in a relationship with someone for many years may have become dependent on the idea of your spouse and you being an "us". Therefore you may focus on what was the significance "us" in your life besides obvious love. There could be issues prevalent since childhood. Trauma in your life. How do you view yourself? Are there ways to be yourself? Should you regret any choices you have made? Do you live with guilt, shame, or embarrassment? I can say after almost 2 years for me, the outlook I have gained is; Most interactions between people are 50-50 (nobody holds more weight than the other when things go bad or good necessarily), Not to feel guilty for things I have not done, Do not necessarily concern myself with the thoughts of others, The actions that I have done define me and If I'm happy with who I am then there is nothing to regret.
Star Gazer Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 Okay guys, I have signed up for therapy sessions with a counselling professional to cope with my breakup. I was wondering if anyone here has any tips on how to prepare for the therapy session. I'll be having my first appointment this week and I really hope to make it a fruitful one. I have difficulty opening up as I'm quite the introvert and would like to find out the sort of questions a counselor will normally ask during therapy. Good for you for taking the first step!! There's nothing you can really do to prepare, as each therapist approaches therapy differently, especially in the very beginning. Some dive right in, some spend more time collecting information. But what I have done in the past is state upfront what my immediate problem/need is, even if it's something as simple as, "I want to not have the urge to contact him" or whatever, and then s/he works from there.
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 I have gone to therapy after every break up pretty much (I don't handle them well obviously) just write down everything you wanna say and how you feel
iouaname Posted June 18, 2013 Posted June 18, 2013 My suggestion is to be as open and honest as possible. I went to therapy right after the breakup but wasn't completely honest or open, and I feel like it was such a missed opportunity now because I'm still struggling quite a bit. I start again tomorrow, and I'm going to be as honest as possible because I really want to get and feel better.
Author treezy Posted June 23, 2013 Author Posted June 23, 2013 Thanks for the input guys. Thought I'd post a quick update. I went for my first therapy session and it was really fruitful. I followed all of your advice and tried to be as honest and open as I could be. I gained new perspectives about the relationship, where we went wrong, and found out the reason for why I cannot seem to move on. I was also given some assignments to do. To those who are thinking of going for therapy, I personally think it is worth a shot. Instead of getting things like "move on" or "you'll find someone else", I was presented with more constructive feedback on how to move past the breakup. I only regret not going for therapy earlier. 1
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