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Posted

My ex for about 3 months still calls me and contacts me. The conversation almost always goes personal and she reminds me all the things i did wrong...She is now in a new relationship for about 2 months i think and her last call was 2 days ago. She told me she was thinking about a trip we had together....The point is i know i have to go total NC but i cant, i dont have the balls.I never initiate anything but i always answer the ****in phone. So here is a question for all you people what would you choose? an ex that totally dissapears the next day and lets you heal? or an ex that calls and never says goodbye?

Posted

I'll take the disappearing one any day (my ex is like that)

 

Go NC, what could you possibly earn from staying in touch with an ex who reminds you all you supposedly did wrong and also has replaced you with a new man. You are just delaying your healing process and your chance of moving on and finding someone new.

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Posted
. So here is a question for all you people what would you choose? an ex that totally disapears the next day and lets you heal? or an ex that calls and never says goodbye?

 

I'd prefer an ex that allows for healing by staying away, but not completely shutting me out. But if I had to choose and I couldn't get over my ex, then the first one would be better, although it would hurt more.

Posted

The ex who leaves you alone is the one that anyone should prefer. I like to think my ex saw it was best to leave me alone after she saw how hurt I could be, in trying to pretend everything was alright. I doubt she has forgotten me completely, how could she? You don't simply forget someone. Doesn't mean they love you anymore unfortunately. Still, I prefer our 2 months of NC after the break up than our intitial month of having LC and still having to see one another for me to pick up some stuff. It hurts somedays, that they don't have the out right desire to contact you. But even if they did for some odd reason, would you want them to reach out to you as anything less than a lover? Anything less is not what you want. While I eventually want to be friends with my ex, now is not the time. Even as I am dating someone else 3 months post BU, I can tell you outright that the love I have for my ex is still present. Maybe not as strong, but the fact that I have to remind myself daily that she isn't right for me, that some of the things she did were wrong, that there is somebody who admires me right next to me; this all says I can't have communication with this person still.

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Posted

I ve read many times in these forums '' how can someone who loves me dissapeared like that? ''. I dont know if its sick but part of me is happy when she calls because she says things that give me hope but when we hung up reality slaps me in the face. I mean most of us here are dumped and want to hear from our exes but when they call and not say '' Oh i have made a mistake i want you back '' it leaves you with a bittersweet taste. In my case i know i shouldnt pick up the phone it ****s my healing but i get some kind of satisfaction when i hear i still love you or i think about you. I am not stupid i asked her how can you think about me and be with someone else? her answer was '' i can think about whoever i want ''. So i will answer the ****ing phone until SHE stops callling i dont know why she calls and maybe i will never find out but i know why i answer, because i ****ing still love her.

Posted
I ve read many times in these forums '' how can someone who loves me dissapeared like that? ''. I dont know if its sick but part of me is happy when she calls because she says things that give me hope but when we hung up reality slaps me in the face. I mean most of us here are dumped and want to hear from our exes but when they call and not say '' Oh i have made a mistake i want you back '' it leaves you with a bittersweet taste. In my case i know i shouldnt pick up the phone it ****s my healing but i get some kind of satisfaction when i hear i still love you or i think about you. I am not stupid i asked her how can you think about me and be with someone else? her answer was '' i can think about whoever i want ''. So i will answer the ****ing phone until SHE stops callling i dont know why she calls and maybe i will never find out but i know why i answer, because i ****ing still love her.

 

Right...let us know how that works out for ya.

Posted
I ve read many times in these forums '' how can someone who loves me dissapeared like that? ''. I dont know if its sick but part of me is happy when she calls because she says things that give me hope but when we hung up reality slaps me in the face. I mean most of us here are dumped and want to hear from our exes but when they call and not say '' Oh i have made a mistake i want you back '' it leaves you with a bittersweet taste. In my case i know i shouldnt pick up the phone it ****s my healing but i get some kind of satisfaction when i hear i still love you or i think about you. I am not stupid i asked her how can you think about me and be with someone else? her answer was '' i can think about whoever i want ''. So i will answer the ****ing phone until SHE stops callling i dont know why she calls and maybe i will never find out but i know why i answer, because i ****ing still love her.

Are you an emotional masochist or something? I mean I don't presume to know you, but that bittersweet feeling is not a good thing to hold onto. Honestly do you want to move on? My ex asked me to wait until she was ready. You think that would be fair if I did, while she would be living life partying and hooking up with other guys? No, I straight up told her the day we broke up, that you can't expect me to wait around for a "phase" to be over. She asked for continued texts, friends with benefits, calls before we went to bed. I denied it all, it showed a lack of integrity to just give it up, she made her decision and we have to abide by it. So don't do as your feelings say. Do what you know what would be best for you. And the best thing you can ever do when dumped is simply move on.

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Posted
Are you an emotional masochist or something? I mean I don't presume to know you, but that bittersweet feeling is not a good thing to hold onto. Honestly do you want to move on? My ex asked me to wait until she was ready. You think that would be fair if I did, while she would be living life partying and hooking up with other guys? No, I straight up told her the day we broke up, that you can't expect me to wait around for a "phase" to be over. She asked for continued texts, friends with benefits, calls before we went to bed. I denied it all, it showed a lack of integrity to just give it up, she made her decision and we have to abide by it. So don't do as your feelings say. Do what you know what would be best for you. And the best thing you can ever do when dumped is simply move on.

 

You are so right i know that i have to move on with my life like she did..I am not waiting but its really difficult for me. I m calm when i talk to her listening to all kind of crazy things but when we hung up i want to cry like a little girl..and the funny thing is that she said she will go out with me. Maybe it will be a goodtime to say goodbye. My exex was more logical we broke up one message about a week after to check on me one more message after ten days to take my things and thats it. The current ex is crazy and is messing me up.All my friends say dont answer the phone but i cant, maybe im weak maybe im not ready yet to let go.

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