joel Posted October 12, 2004 Posted October 12, 2004 my question is this-lets say u like this girl-physically -i mean good looking do u first make freinds with her first and this and that then ask her out or do u make small talk, talk about stuff u have in common then lets say ask her out for something called a informal date. -this is in college atmostphere some ppl have told me to be friends first as the girl hardly even nows u -why should she go out with u, and u might scare her off by going too fast. but i also seen guys do the small talk and then ask her out like in 10 minutes. but with me is i don;t like to beat around the bush. so what do u guys or gals think tell me what u do or prefer. oh ya and also is it acceptable to chit chat with a gal -let say ur at a bookstore , u find hot and then ask for her number or to go for coffee. this is a girl u don;t now.are girls ok with guys approaching em in the bookstore. i'm not a intimidating guy 5 7 145 typical looking
gd1039 Posted October 13, 2004 Posted October 13, 2004 When I see a girl at college that I am interested in, I'll go talk to her, make some small chat and then just say "let me get your number" Sometimes I don't do it until I see them a second time, but I blame that on lack of confidence. I say don't wait to be friends first unless friends is what you are looking for. If you try to ask a girl out and she declines, boom, its over with in about 5 minutes (the time you were chatting). If its over someone who is becomming a friend, you waste all that time (days or weeks) of trying to be their friend before you learn they aren't interested in you like that and though "we were just friends". IMO it is a lot harder to escape the friends zone, so why would you want to start there? By all means, make friends though. Friends have friends and you can meet girls through them too. So, I do not like trying to take a girl, make her a friend, and then turn her into my girlfriend. On the other hand, one of my good friends prefers to become friends first and then see where it goes. I think we have equally bad success . I think that when you want to be friends first and see if stuff pans out it is because you lack confidence. You might say you aren't afraid of rejection, but then why would you want to make sure you are completely interested and everything looks safe before you make a move? Thats why I say just stick with initial approaches. Sure you are going to meet a lot of girls that you just don't click with, but the more you meet the more chance you have of meeting someone good. I am not against the friends ---> girlfriend idea, and if I had a friend I really hit it off with I would be open to date her as well. But, I am not about to rely on making friends that could someday turn into more. I am impatient and like to know if there is any shot right off the bat.
gd1039 Posted October 13, 2004 Posted October 13, 2004 Also, to back up it being creepy getting asked out by someone you barely know. Well, I met a girl while she was working in a department store, got her number and went for coffee the next week. I also met a random girl when I was walking at school and had coffee with her a couple days later. Just keep it casual since you don't know eachother. Coffee is a great idea, maybe a school football game would be fun too.
faux Posted October 13, 2004 Posted October 13, 2004 It would be wise to have a full conversation with a woman before asking her out on a date, but it might be foolish to spend too much time becoming her "friend", when this is not your goal.
Author joel Posted October 13, 2004 Author Posted October 13, 2004 maybe that what happen with me and that leanne girl-i asked her out too fast i mean we knew each toerh for like a year but i never talked to her till 1 yr later and when i did i asked her out right away after making small talk after class and then after the next class i ask her out- too abruopt and fast hey
gd1039 Posted October 13, 2004 Posted October 13, 2004 Like I said, I think its fine to ask someone out that fast, but don't make it too datish. Keep it simple and informal like meeting for coffee. Don't just ask if they want to go for dinner and a movie.
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