How to forgive your self for cheating on your husband

[wife2004]

How do I forgive myself for cheating on my husband?I cant seem to get past it.It happened only once with an ex of mine which now I find it was a huge mistake.I confessed to hubby the whole story he forgave me and said we`ll get past it.But how can I ?

[Moose]

First, you'll have to come to the realization that you'll always feel guilty, no matter how much you try to make up for it. Which, by the way, don't go overboard trying to make up for it or you'll become a slave to your mistakes.

 

If you have a preferred religion, do whatever it takes to get frogiveness from your higher power. If your husband already forgave you, then you should be fine. Don't beat yourself up over it, you'll just be waisting energy. Do whatever it takes to get what you were missing that caused you to cheat in the first place.

 

Communicate with hubby. That's your key.

[SoleMate]

Why don't you just work hard on being a terrific wife to him? Give him whatever his heart craves. Whenever you feel like kicking yourself, go and caress him instead. After all, all that energy has to go SOMEWHERE!

[wife2004]

Thank you everyone who replied I went out searching for something with the ex that i thought was there and was not. maybe i did it for the thrill aswell as the sex.i did not get caught i just confessed i couldnt deal with it anymore.hubby said we will get past it and tell noone else in the family its just between him and i.

[Moose]

Your husband sounds like a wonderfull guy. You've got a keeper. But please, find out what made you do it in the first place, and fix it. We're here to help you along the way if you need it.

 

Good Luck

Moose

[VivianLee]

It's much harder to forgive yourself than to forgive someone else....

 

I never realized that till I cheated....

 

I think we hold on to the guilt sometimes to punish ourselves, especially those of us that had our spouse forgive and we continue to stay married. I think it just makes the healing process of the marriage take longer.

 

It's a healing process that will take time but just like it's not healthy or good to hold a grudge or be bitter towards someone that has done wrong to you, the same applies to what you do to yourself....

 

Don't make excuses or place blame to feel better.....just realize that you aren't that person anymore and never intend to be that person ever again.....

 

If you are religious, here are some things to consider....

 

First of all, God understand we are human and imperfect. People sin and fail God, their family and friends every day. Sin is sin, adultery is one of those sins that have a domino effect, not just one person is hurt, MANY are hurt for a long time....

 

Adultery has been a problem since the beginning of time and will be as long as we are here.

 

King David, saw Bathsheba, lusted and had sex with her even though she was married. He took it a step further and had her military husband put on the front line so he would die in battle...

 

He cheated and murdered.....

 

But in the Bible he is considered "a man after God's on heart"......that's a pretty high ranking for a mere mortal from God...

 

David's child that he conceived with Bathsheba died AND he became repentant and was forgiving. Psalm 51 is a very moving Psalm of David's concerning his sadnes of his sin...

 

You are forgiven....enjoy this gift and repay those that forgive you by forgiving yourself!!

[sami]

Try to make the best out of it by getting closer to your husband than before.

[wife2004]

Thank you all for your help and understanding i know why i cheated hubby and i had been fighting alot for quite sometime and we had no sex life either and of course there was the i thought i had feelings for but all along i was living in the past thnks again everone for listening

[faux]

I would be very wary of any woman who could forgive herself for doing such a thing. Perhaps it is best that you not do so.