Woggle Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 It's not misery. If everybody excepted that long term commitment is dead and just had casual hook ups or at least serial monogamy people would be happy.
sweetjasmine Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 It's not misery. If everybody excepted that long term commitment is dead and just had casual hook ups or at least serial monogamy people would be happy. Okay, you go first. Go ahead. Divorce your wife. But first, please stop derailing the thread. It's well established that the OP wants to give this a shot. And what you can't seem to understand is that even if it doesn't end well, she'll still appreciate the good moments and joy she had along the way. And the ability to enjoy what you had, even if it's gone, is invaluable, so she'll be fine. Even if she doesn't listen to your advice. 2
ThaWholigan Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 It's not misery. If everybody excepted that long term commitment is dead and just had casual hook ups or at least serial monogamy people would be happy. It always makes me laugh when miserable people claim to be "realistic". It's just another way of trying to make everybody else as miserable as they are. You know, it's entirely possible to understand the harshness of reality and not be reduced to doom-monger status. It would be easy for me to be miserable too! I choose not to always post about the sh*t in my life, I highlight the good stuff as a way of showing people that you can actually acknowledge the darkness and still be somewhat happy. Either way, MissJaclynRae seems to be a resilient enough to deal with any fallout should it come by. I don't think you could accuse her of not being realistic just because she isn't falling about being miserable about it. Optimism does not equal head in the sand. 5
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 That people see it as "pissing in the face of people who aren't as happy as you" is the real problem in my opinion.... Well I definitely wouldn't go to a funeral bragging about how awesome life is...I think it's a matter of etiquette, as well as self-awareness. There's an appropriate place for everything, unless you're one of those people who are like "I don't care about etiquette, I'm just worried about me, I choose to live in my own bubble" which just comes off more selfish and insensitive than anything else to others looking from the outside in...not that I necessarily feel that jaclynrae committed some cardinal sin by expressing her happiness, If not for the etiquette of her BF being so blatant and common IMO, I would have likely said nothing at all. 4
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Also, I don't know why people don't realize this is the "dating section"....not the "gloating section" or the "relationship section" or "Marriage section" or "Long distance relationship section"...this is an area that's about the challenges and struggles of dating for many people, why in the hell would you want to come on this section of the forum to piss in the people's faces that are not as "happy" as you....supposedly, for who even knows how long, that don't even know you personally...isn't that called updating your I need therapy/Facebook status these days? Should we really be happy about some meaningless statement by a 'bf of the moment" of someone we don't even know personally? I guess I fail to see the point of this thread. 1
ThaWholigan Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Well I definitely wouldn't go to a funeral bragging about how awesome life is...I think it's a matter of etiquette, as well as self-awareness. There's an appropriate place for everything, unless you're one of those people who are like "I don't care about etiquette, I'm just worried about me, I choose to live in my own bubble" which just comes off more selfish and insensitive than anything else to others looking from the outside in...not that I necessarily feel that jaclynrae committed some cardinal sin by expressing her happiness, If not for the etiquette of her BF being so blatant and common IMO, I would have likely said nothing at all. I agree that there is a time and place, but just like there's a time and a place to be super happy and sharing it indiscriminately, surely there's a time and place for the opposite and this thread wasn't it?
sweetjasmine Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Well I definitely wouldn't go to a funeral bragging about how awesome life is...I think it's a matter of etiquette, as well as self-awareness. There's an appropriate place for everything, unless you're one of those people who are like "I don't care about etiquette, I'm just worried about me, I choose to live in my own bubble" which just comes off more selfish and insensitive than anything else to others looking from the outside in...not that I necessarily feel that jaclynrae committed some cardinal sin by expressing her happiness, If not for the etiquette of her BF being so blatant and common IMO, I would have likely said nothing at all. No, posting in the break-up forum about how you're getting married and how everyone else doesn't know what they're missing would be the LS equivalent of going to a funeral and talking about how great life is. Where's the appropriate place for happy DATING threads on LS? Is there a secret happy subforum that only happy people are allowed to post in? I didn't realize that this entire forum was devoted only to miserable people with nothing good to say. I guess those moderators need to do some more cleaning up. 5
ThaWholigan Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Should we really be happy about some meaningless statement by a 'bf of the moment" of someone we don't even know personally? I guess I fail to see the point of this thread. Why not just be neutral? Just say "Congrats, hope it all goes well :D" and the end? Not that hard.
Woggle Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Since modern day relationships in general are miserable this forum should reflect that. 1
TheFinalWord Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 If not for the etiquette of her BF being so blatant and common IMO, I would have likely said nothing at all. Personally, I don't think your assessment was negative. It is just your opinion, which I often agree with. I think having a variety of perspectives helps with decision making. It's more that some people seem to take glee in other people's failure. It's like you can see them on the edge of their computer chair waiting of the day OP posts the thread "It's over". Just giving an opinion about a situation is helpful. One of the good things about this site is you can get a variety of opinions. In the multitude of counselors there is wisdom. But it's that some people seem to desire to see others fail to appease their own self-fulling prophecies that is somewhat disturbing. Misery loves company. 1
sweetjasmine Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Should we really be happy about some meaningless statement by a 'bf of the moment" of someone we don't even know personally? I guess I fail to see the point of this thread. Should anyone really care about any of the dozens of meaningless statements and actions a bunch of strangers post on this forum on a daily basis? I guess I fail to see the point of any thread. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Why not just be neutral? Just say "Congrats, hope it all goes well :D" and the end? Not that hard. I generally don't post in such threads at all, but statement her bf made is so common and meaningless that I had to point that out. 2
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Should anyone really care about any of the dozens of meaningless statements and actions a bunch of strangers post on this forum on a daily basis? I guess I fail to see the point of any thread. Thread usually asks for advice; this one didn't ask for anything, she just had to share a bit of sweet talk between her and bf 2
William Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Where's the appropriate place for happy DATING threads on LS? This posting is properly located in our forums and I'll thank members to end discussion about happy and non-happy threads, what other posters do or don't do, etc, etc, and confine their comments to the thread starter's topic or aim their keyboards elsewhere. Asking for advice is *not* a prerequisite for sharing one's experiences on our forums. Final warning. 2
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted June 24, 2013 Author Posted June 24, 2013 Since modern day relationships in general are miserable this forum should reflect that. Woggle, you need some serious therapy. I honestly have NO idea why this thread is still going. The pessimism [yes, I see it as such, it is a bit different from being realistic] is overwhelming. For those of you saying I should end things and enjoy being single... thanks but I think I got it from here. I am very happy with him, and unlike a few of you, I don't see being in a comitted relationship as the end of my life. I like to see it as having a partner in crime. Being in a relationship is FUN. I don't see it as an end all in the slightest. Sure, I could have fun being single, I DID have fun being single! It was a blast, and then I met this guy who just so happens to be my best friend too, and now life is even MORE fun. 8 months of spending every moment together and I am not even close to being sick of him. He annoys me, but ultimately I spend every day with my best friend and I love it. Why would I give that up? Because he is leaving? Pshhhh this is just another adventure. One that will allow us to be together and yet work on ourselves for a bit! Who gets such an opportunity?!? Sounds like a winning combination to me. Not to mention the fact that I don't miss being single, this is far more fun. 1
Janesays Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 I like to see it as having a partner in crime. Being in a relationship is FUN. I don't see it as an end all in the slightest. Sure, I could have fun being single, I DID have fun being single! It was a blast, and then I met this guy who just so happens to be my best friend too, and now life is even MORE fun. 8 months of spending every moment together and I am not even close to being sick of him. He annoys me, but ultimately I spend every day with my best friend and I love it. Well, I legitimately hope this work out for you and you stay this happy forever. In my posts, I really hope you recognize that I was only urging you to be sensitive of your surroundings sometimes. I am not in the club wishing for your relationship's demise. We all need to snatch at happiness when it is offered to us. Sometimes we'll get hurt, sure. But in the end, I think, the risk can sometimes be worth it. Good luck, dear. 2
peaksandvalleys Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 Funny, In my classes it tends to be the young ones asking stupid questions. They also tend to not take school as serious. 30 is pretty young still. I can't wait until you hit that age. Either way, I agree with you. I was in my 40's....I asked as many questions as I saw fit(I was after all paying thousands without help from anyone) and I graduated with a honors and a job. Age is relative isn't it. 1
hoping2heal Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 I am honestly confused what I have said or done that has made a select few of you feel the need to rain on my parade EVERY single time. I wouldn't take it personally. It's very common to see people either making cynical comments towards something positive or projecting their own failed dating experience onto other posters. It happens a dime a dozen on here. Someone shared a sweet video of an engagement and that was picked apart like a Thanksgiving turkey. No one else is in your relationship, and despite what you share about it on here there is still always alot of context that none of us know about. Details that fill in the lines that make you secure and make you happy, regardless of how anyone here perceives it on paper. Whether what was said was genuine or not is up to you to decide and find out for yourself and it's okay to just enjoy the moment. It sounds like you're going to be starting Uni yourself and I think that's great. If you decided to forgo your own education to travel with him you'd be told the guy is selfish and how foolish you're being 2
BradJacobs Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 Since modern day relationships in general are miserable this forum should reflect that. Wow ... projecting much?
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