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My boyfriend said something really sweet.

miss_jaclynrae

By miss_jaclynrae
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kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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OP jane has a point. Even when things are going well for me in my dating life, I dont post much about it. Its kind of why Ive been absent here the last few months. Ive been very content with my love life, but I know going on and on about it wouldnt be helpful to guys who arent happy with their situation.

 

That being said, positive threads are good...but they kind of need to be spread out and done by several members. It would seem as if you kinda do make thread and posts a lot about how awesome your relationship is. Nothing wrong with positivity, but some my see it as boastfulness sometimes.

 

For example, I personally feel my dating life and success has been rather average, and sometimes downright lame. But when I read what other guys go through and give them advice, I put things into better perspective. And I start to realize that if I talked about dates, hookups, or the gym too much, that Id come off as even more arrogant than some members already find me.

 

Its a fine line.

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Janesays Established Member

Janesays

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I'm curious though, because kingfujoe makes a lot of posts about his explosive sex life with his wife, and no one seems to dog him. Wouldn't that be just as painful for those guys who have never been laid ? Boasting about sex is ok, but sharing happiness about love is boastful ?

 

I personally always found hope in the positive posts, but maybe that's just how my mind works.

 

There is also a difference between a post here and there, when it is relative to the conversation....

 

....and multiple threads started for the sole purpose of gushing about oneself.

 

Ninja is also right in that marriage is generally not envied among single men. But for a lot of women here who have never even been CLOSE to marriage, it may be different.

 

Ultimately it's all a big judgement call. And sometimes to make the right calls, it is wise to see various points of view. Please understand I wasn't trying to criticize the OP...just give her a different point of view.

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miss_jaclynrae Established Member

miss_jaclynrae

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I kind of just ignore posts referencing his wife, because he does really seem to bring up his oh so awesome sex life a bit too much. Im happy for him and all...but I truly feel the gentleman doth protest too much. And well, we all know what they say about that saying.

 

See, I see it differently.

KFJ gives great advice and uses his awesome relationship as a tool.

 

 

 

I see it as taking a test and having someone who took it already and got an A try to help you out.

Wouldn't it be ridiculous to get upset or mad at someone who comes to you and says "My way worked, it may not work for you, but here is my advice."

Especially when the person is ASKING for advice.

Wouldn't you WANT that person's advice?

 

 

I know I would.

Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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When married people talk about their sex lives, my eyes kind of glaze over :o

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kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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When married people talk about their sex lives, my eyes kind of glaze over :o

For some reason, married sex makes me think "ewwww lame".

 

But tbh, thats because I generally think of unattractive people who let themselves go when I think of married folks.

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miss_jaclynrae Established Member

miss_jaclynrae

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For some reason, married sex makes me think "ewwww lame".

 

But tbh, thats because I generally think of unattractive people who let themselves go when I think of married folks.

 

 

 

Honest to god, married sex was insane for me. After having sex together for a good amount of time, and since you are so comfortable trying new things.... you do. You would be shocked at how tame sex was BEFORE marriage VS after.

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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For some reason, married sex makes me think "ewwww lame".

 

But tbh, thats because I generally think of unattractive people who let themselves go when I think of married folks.

 

The guy I'm dating said his friend told him that he and his wife have sex every single day and they shower together every morning... Is it me or does that sound excessive? I mean I like sex and I can't wait to do it with 1 person for a long time but that's a lot I think.

sweetjasmine Established Member

sweetjasmine

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It should be obvious by now that every time you post something positive in this section of the forum, you're only giving other people an opening to sh-t all over it.

 

And yet everyone wrings their hands over the atmosphere.

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ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

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It should be obvious by now that every time you post something positive in this section of the forum, you're only giving other people an opening to sh-t all over it.

 

And yet everyone wrings their hands over the atmosphere.

You literally took the words out of my mouth :laugh:.

 

Its like you actually have to pretend to be miserable to not step on toes. Happy equals bragging :p. (Exaggerated a little there lol)

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Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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It's because we know most people who say they are happy will probably not be this way a year later. The initial high of new love doesn't last and will turn sour in time. Don't get mad because some people don't live in a fantasy world.

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kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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Honest to god, married sex was insane for me. After having sex together for a good amount of time, and since you are so comfortable trying new things.... you do. You would be shocked at how tame sex was BEFORE marriage VS after.

Well you were very young and fit. So I can read what you said and not be put off by it lol

You literally took the words out of my mouth :laugh:.

 

Its like you actually have to pretend to be miserable to not step on toes. Happy equals bragging :p. (Exaggerated a little there lol)

If I acted the way I do in real life on this forum, everyone would hate me lmao.

sweetjasmine Established Member

sweetjasmine

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It's because we know most people who say they are happy will probably not be this way a year later. The initial high of new love doesn't last and will turn sour in time. Don't get mad because some people don't live in a fantasy world.

 

Woggle, this sounds like, "Happy 7th Birthday, little Joey. Congratulations. You're ONE YEAR CLOSER TO DYING. HOW DOES THAT FEEL, HUH? That balloon of yours? *pop* GONE. And your new toy? Cheap piece of junk from China that's going to break in a week because it was made by someone your age. Happy Birthday, kid. Welcome to real life.".

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ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

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It's because we know most people who say they are happy will probably not be this way a year later. The initial high of new love doesn't last and will turn sour in time. Don't get mad because some people don't live in a fantasy world.

There's a difference between being realistic and being miserable. Its really not that thin a line. That people don't get it is hilarious and sad at the same time.

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Janesays Established Member

Janesays

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Woggle, this sounds like, "Happy 7th Birthday, little Joey. Congratulations. You're ONE YEAR CLOSER TO DYING. HOW DOES THAT FEEL, HUH? That balloon of yours? *pop* GONE. And your new toy? Cheap piece of junk from China that's going to break in a week because it was made by someone your age. Happy Birthday, kid. Welcome to real life.".

 

 

If Woggle actually said this, I would die laughing. :lmao:

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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Woggle, this sounds like, "Happy 7th Birthday, little Joey. Congratulations. You're ONE YEAR CLOSER TO DYING. HOW DOES THAT FEEL, HUH? That balloon of yours? *pop* GONE. And your new toy? Cheap piece of junk from China that's going to break in a week because it was made by someone your age. Happy Birthday, kid. Welcome to real life.".

 

That is different. Everybody knows they will eventually die one day so they are ready for it. People actually expect that love will last when chances are the person you are madly in love will crush your heart a few years later or you will crush their heart. Love is nothing more than an temporary high that lasts a few years at the most then after that it is misery.

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William Established Member

William

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Minor cleanup, as there are a couple of members on moderation posting in this thread. I looked at the topic and viewed the apparent chats about other poster's lives and posting habits and will instruct members to confine those comments to OTT and address the topic here. Thanks.

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sweetjasmine Established Member

sweetjasmine

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That is different. Everybody knows they will eventually die one day so they are ready for it. People actually expect that love will last when chances are the person you are madly in love will crush your heart a few years later or you will crush their heart. Love is nothing more than an temporary high that lasts a few years at the most then after that it is misery.

 

Your emo poetry aside, the OP is perfectly aware that her relationship could very well not survive this. And she's willing to do it anyway.

 

So it'd be nice if people kept their toxic crap to themselves for once. Or if they were a bit nicer about flinging it in others' faces. Or if they could put their money where their mouth is and divorce their own wife.

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Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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Your emo poetry aside, the OP is perfectly aware that her relationship could very well not survive this. And she's willing to do it anyway.

 

So it'd be nice if people kept their toxic crap to themselves for once. Or if they were a bit nicer about flinging it in others' faces. Or if they could put their money where their mouth is and divorce their own wife.

 

It's not toxic. It is realistic. Since he is going away why not be single for a while and date other people and when he gets back if there are still feelings then they can do something. She will feel like she is limiting herself by being faithful and devoted to him while he is away.

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sweetjasmine Established Member

sweetjasmine

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It's not toxic. It is realistic. Since he is going away why not be single for a while and date other people and when he gets back if there are still feelings then they can do something. She will feel like she is limiting herself by being faithful and devoted to him while he is away.

 

Because she wants to give it a shot.

 

If she feels like she's limiting herself, she's free to break it off. She's free to make her own choices, and there's nothing wrong with her for making the choice she made.

 

And, yes, "He's going to cheat because love never lasts because everyone hates each other," IS toxic. If there's no more love in your marriage and it's pure misery, then divorce your wife instead of dragging your issues up to everyone else's doorstep and rubbing it in their face.

Anela Established Member

Anela

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That is different. Everybody knows they will eventually die one day so they are ready for it. People actually expect that love will last when chances are the person you are madly in love will crush your heart a few years later or you will crush their heart. Love is nothing more than an temporary high that lasts a few years at the most then after that it is misery.

 

I think that more people expect to be crushed by love, than to die, even though the latter will happen for everyone. I've experienced it in the past few years: having it really and truly hit me, that my parents will be gone one day, that I'm really aging - you see the people aging around you, but it happens gradually and then a big change tends to result in big outer changes in appearance.

 

I think a lot of the casual relationships nowadays, are down to people being afraid. Some may be because they genuinely want their freedom, but others - they've had their hearts broken and don't want to put themselves in line to have that happen again.

 

Jaclyn sounds like she can handle this, and if she can't, then she'll most likely tell him so.

 

You literally took the words out of my mouth :laugh:.

 

Its like you actually have to pretend to be miserable to not step on toes. Happy equals bragging :p. (Exaggerated a little there lol)

 

:laugh: No, misery gets on people's nerves, too.

Ninjainpajamas Established Member

Ninjainpajamas

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Also, I don't know why people don't realize this is the "dating section"....not the "gloating section" or the "relationship section" or "Marriage section" or "Long distance relationship section"...this is an area that's about the challenges and struggles of dating for many people, why in the hell would you want to come on this section of the forum to piss in the people's faces that are not as "happy" as you....supposedly, for who even knows how long, that don't even know you personally...isn't that called updating your I need therapy/Facebook status these days?

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Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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Because she wants to give it a shot.

 

If she feels like she's limiting herself, she's free to break it off. She's free to make her own choices, and there's nothing wrong with her for making the choice she made.

 

And, yes, "He's going to cheat because love never lasts because everyone hates each other," IS toxic. If there's no more love in your marriage and it's pure misery, then divorce your wife instead of dragging your issues up to everyone else's doorstep and rubbing it in their face.

 

Because if it does last and she gets older with him she will look back and regret being so committed at this young age. She needs to be single and free right now.

sweetjasmine Established Member

sweetjasmine

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Because if it does last and she gets older with him she will look back and regret being so committed at this young age. She needs to be single and free right now.

 

Because, you, Woggle, a stranger on the internet, know what she needs better than she does.

 

Why do you get to tell her what to do with her life?

 

What if she doesn't want to be single and free right now?

 

Some people told me not to get serious if I was younger than 25, and I didn't listen. And I don't regret it a single bit. What's it to you?

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Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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Because, you, Woggle, a stranger on the internet, know what she needs better than she does.

 

Why do you get to tell her what to do with her life?

 

What if she doesn't want to be single and free right now?

 

Some people told me not to get serious if I was younger than 25, and I didn't listen. And I don't regret it a single bit. What's it to you?

 

It will not hit either of you until you get close to 40 and all of a sudden you realize you never had those wild years and then it's bye bye faithful and reliable man and hello wild times and freedom. Maybe you two won't but you approach life based on the rules and not the exceptions.

ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

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Also, I don't know why people don't realize this is the "dating section"....not the "gloating section" or the "relationship section" or "Marriage section" or "Long distance relationship section"...this is an area that's about the challenges and struggles of dating for many people, why in the hell would you want to come on this section of the forum to piss in the people's faces that are not as "happy" as you....supposedly, for who even knows how long, that don't even know you personally...isn't that called updating your I need therapy/Facebook status these days?

That people see it as "pissing in the face of people who aren't as happy as you" is the real problem in my opinion....

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