Males perspective on plus-size women?

[L8Bl00mer]

As a plus size woman, you hear a lot of different perspectives as to how society views you as far as desirability goes and usually, they are not so reassuring. However, when I talk to guys, I never get a clear answer from males on how they feel about plus-sized women as far as dating and pursuing a romantic relationship goes.

 

I could elaborate more, but I suppose what I am really interested in hearing about is how the "average" male views women who are considered plus sized. Would you date one? Why or why not and what are your overall views of us as far as pursuing sexual relationships with us goes?

[ChessPieceFace]

Probably the same attitude a girl would have about dating a guy who only works part-time at a gas station. That's about the best analogy I can come up with anyway.

 

I'm plus sized right now and probably wouldn't date a plus sized girl (assuming you mean fat) because I wouldn't be attracted to her. And that's not hypocritical because I don't feel attractive myself, am not happy with myself, and I wouldn't date anyone in this condition.

 

That said, not everyone should be skinny, by any means. I don't even like skinny girls. I'd be into something in the range of fit to moderately filled out / big bottomed. I don't have any numbers for you. But I guess I could say that I would want my GF, and myself also, to be unashamed of being in a swimsuit.

 

I guess the main exception would be if I really liked a girl otherwise and I knew she liked me, and knew we would be good for each other. Then I'd date her with the idea that we'd get in shape together, or something. That could work...

Edited June 17, 2013 by ChessPieceFace

[somedude81]

First of all, what defines plus size?

 

What are we talking here? 5'2 160 lbs or 5'2 220 lbs ?

 

There is such a huge range.

 

My hard rule is that I won't want to date a woman that weighs more than I do.

[L8Bl00mer]

 

I'm plus sized right now and probably wouldn't date a plus sized girl (assuming you mean fat) because I wouldn't be attracted to her. And that's not hypocritical because I don't feel attractive myself, am not happy with myself, and I wouldn't date anyone in this condition.

 

As weird as I often thought that to be, I do understand where you are coming from because I've always felt the same way. Although I am plus-sized myself, I never found myself attracted to big guys and I don't know why. I won't lie, I always felt that was a hypocritical stance considering the situation I'm living, so how could I find guys pretty much like myself unattractive?

 

I liked this post because it made me think deeply about this subject and I totally connected with this point.

 

First of all, what defines plus size?

 

What are we talking here? 5'2 160 lbs or 5'2 220 lbs ?

 

There is such a huge range.

 

My hard rule is that I won't want to date a woman that weighs more than I do.

 

Plus sized as in 5'2 220.

 

I suppose I consider plus-size to be synonymous with "obese" as opposed to "overweight".

Edited June 17, 2013 by L8Bl00mer

[Pompeii]

Define "plus size".

[ThaWholigan]

I like big but not too big. I do have a thing for the slightly bigger girls too.

[thefooloftheyear]

I am a fit person, but I generally dont favor overly fit women...

 

Couple of things to note....

 

I find "somewhat" overweight women attractive, BUT....They have to still have somewhat of an "hourglass" figure...So if shes built like a 55 gallon drum, then I dont want it...

 

If we get together, you probably arent going to like the fact that I have a strict specialized diet and workout regimen....Unless you are looking to embrace that and improve yourself in this area...

 

BTW, I will never understand how you will see "BBW's" stating they want a ripped up guy with a 6 pack..And conversely you see disgustingly overweight and out of shape guys wanting nothing but "Barbies".. But hey. to each his/her own...

 

TFY

[Els]

Uh, from what I have observed, 5'2" 220 lbs is going to exclude you for a large percentage of men. Sorry.

 

You do sound remarkably complacent about it, though. Are you not concerned about your own weight, aside from what men think of you?

[man_in_the_box]

Although I don't really care about looks I have to admit that this is personally a dealbreaker. I'm a bit jaded on this issue as my gf developed a weight problem somewhere around a year into our relationship. I can share my experiences of that period but I'm warning you it ain't pretty

[Carenth]

Having been classified obese once in my life and losing the excess weight and maintaining a healthy weight for the last 5 years. I can honestly say no I wouldn't date a plus-size women.

 

Only because I know from my own experience of been overweight it is a very unhealthy lifestyle. This is not saying they are not lovely people, I know many people who struggle with weight who have hearts of gold. However I would be lying if physical attraction didn't play an important part.

 

I'm not saying I like girls that are stick figures by no means. I would expect my partner to try and maintain a healthy weight (as I do) because I've decided I don't want to live an unhealthy life anymore and it's not something I will really compromise on. That would be the main issue for me. Pretty much the same way I feel about drugs, smoking.

Edited June 17, 2013 by Carenth

[BeholdtheMan]

As a plus size woman, you hear a lot of different perspectives as to how society views you as far as desirability goes and usually, they are not so reassuring. However, when I talk to guys, I never get a clear answer from males on how they feel about plus-sized women as far as dating and pursuing a romantic relationship goes.

 

I could elaborate more, but I suppose what I am really interested in hearing about is how the "average" male views women who are considered plus sized. Would you date one? Why or why not and what are your overall views of us as far as pursuing sexual relationships with us goes?

 

I find plus-size women much less physically attractive than fit or slim women. Neither super-skinny nor plus-size really appeal to me on a physical level. I'm pretty sure women would say the same thing about plus-size guys (and super-skinny guys).

 

Would I ever date a plus-size women? I'm not sure if I could overcome the lack of physical attraction. I have never been attracted to a plus-size woman...and by plus-size, I mean significantly overweight.

 

I have been attracted to women who are maybe 10-15 pounds overweight. More than that is too much for me.

[boaaaar]

I'm not interested in plus size women. Just a matter of subjective taste, I don't really judge them. If it works for them in society and find people who like it, good for them I guess.

[JuneJulySeptember]

As a plus size woman, you hear a lot of different perspectives as to how society views you as far as desirability goes and usually, they are not so reassuring. However, when I talk to guys, I never get a clear answer from males on how they feel about plus-sized women as far as dating and pursuing a romantic relationship goes.

 

I could elaborate more, but I suppose what I am really interested in hearing about is how the "average" male views women who are considered plus sized. Would you date one? Why or why not and what are your overall views of us as far as pursuing sexual relationships with us goes?

 

You already know the answer. Just like when short guys come on here and ask the same thing.

 

The shorter/heavier you are, the tougher you'll have it.

 

As for myself, I would never write someone completely off based on what they look like, but I am far from the norm.

 

Also, not being a jerk, but why don't you try and lose the weight. The amount of men you could date if you jumped to an average/athletic body would shoot up ridiculously. That's just the way things are. Shallow world, unfortunately.

Edited June 17, 2013 by JuneJulySeptember

[sillyanswer]

As a plus size woman, you hear a lot of different perspectives as to how society views you as far as desirability goes and usually, they are not so reassuring. However, when I talk to guys, I never get a clear answer from males on how they feel about plus-sized women as far as dating and pursuing a romantic relationship goes.

 

I could elaborate more, but I suppose what I am really interested in hearing about is how the "average" male views women who are considered plus sized. Would you date one? Why or why not and what are your overall views of us as far as pursuing sexual relationships with us goes?

 

I'm unclear what "plus sized" means. Partly because it seems to mean different things to different people, and partly because it is also used euphemistically to include everyone up to the largest sizes possible. I'm sure there are "plus size" models who have a healthy BMI - because in that industry it seems to include everyone who isn't as thin as a rake - but the term is also used by people avoiding words like "fat" and "overweight". So... it depends what you mean!

 

I find some women with average or slightly overweight bodies can be attractive, but almost no women who are obese are attractive to me.

 

I associate not being fat with being (more likely to be) healthy, and not being fat with being more likely to be interested and able to lead an active life similar to mine (no matter how much either of those preconceptions might be wrong).

 

Having dated someone who was obese I recall that she hated her body and this was a major drain on anything being fun.

 

(I'm not sure if I'm an "average" male, but in the context of size I'm tall and slim/athletic.)

[Ninjainpajamas]

I'm probably going overboard on this but I'll give you a detailed explanation on this that might help you understand...even if you're just asking one of those questions you already know the answer to, hoping it'll be different than the one you already know to be true.

 

I think the biggest turn-off for me is someone complaining about how they look all the time without doing anything about it when it comes to weight, just making excuses left and right while pounding down some chinese takeout.

 

I can appreciate someone putting in genuine effort to lose weight but that's not someone I want to enter a relationship with that is that far out from their goal weight (I'm not talking about the average bodied person here, moreso someone far out of range of what is healthy), I don't buy into the whole "we'll do it together" thing, I think it's a personal issue...however I think a support group would be helpful, just not romantic.

 

However on the same hand I don't like the fact that some people are completely complacent/content or unmotivated by their large physique and just wish those to be attracted to it that are simply not, or feel like it shouldn't be a factor because they've decided that for them.

 

When you see completely overweight women drooling over 6'X, good looking man with a desirable in-shape physique, but somehow skim over your own physical qualities on compatibility because of how awesome, funny, caring, loving yadda yadda yadda you are, as if that makes up for the fact that you are likely sexually unattractive or more-so to him physically, I have no idea why someone would have the expectation of how they look to be irrelevant. I don't know If I have ever met anyone who thought fat was sexy, I'm sure there are some out there that do feel that way, but not any man I have personally met.

 

As far as your definition of plus-sized, I think that's going to be out of the "forgivable" range for many if not most, someone that is 5'2 200lbs (for the sake of this example) isn't going to get a lot of attention from men with options...other than sexual/casual. There are a lot of women out there that are in good physical shape and still have trouble landing a man for a relationship...albeit for other reasons entirely that they don't understand.

 

I think the lifestyle in that weight-range would realistically be more compatible with someone who is also overweight, where you can go out and eat and do the whole foodie thing...if you don't feel that way then I'd recommend losing weight and establishing a healthier lifestyle first, before trying to do be with someone who already is, as it can be a big source of conflict.

 

Most guys would rather date ugly-faced-skinny-girl than fat-with-a-pretty-face, it comes down to a sexual desirability thing...sexually it's more pleasing to men what your body feels like than what your face looks like in the bedroom...this is while you'll see butter-faces on covers of car magazines but with a sexier body.

 

Personally I prefer more filled out curvy women to skinny, but in no way does that mean obese or considerably overweight, I prefer a figure, not a blob or sponge bob square pants with boobies.

 

I've dated a few overweight women in the past because they were great women and I did see other qualities in them that really shined and connected...ultimately however I just didn't found them as sexually desirable, It's just not something I can merely overlook and for the long-term I know that weight becomes more a challenge to people, then ultimately becomes a health issue.

 

And what about children? That's going to require some weight gain there as well and with someone who is not motivated as it is to loose the weight they have, I couldn't see that happening in the future...plus for me I would like to be able to do physical activities together as a family without mom having to be towed by donkey just to get up a steep hill. And I'd want my kid(s) to live a healthy lifestyle..I'm an athletic guy, was very much so in my youth and played sports and lifting weights, spent a lot of time outside with friends swimming and riding bikes as a kid...I'd like them to be able to experience that and be health conscience too.

 

And for myself as well as my future, I don't want to be injecting insulin from diabetes, risking heart failure and high cholesterol...not if I could have prevented it, sure I might have a heart attack anyway by some chance but at least I tried, and it seems like overweight people bodies break down much faster on top of all of that.

 

So while attraction may be apart of it, health plays a huge part of it...I'm sure there are many guys that feel the same way, one because it's just a sexual desirability thing and two because any guy who is in moderately good shape that isn't in his early 20's...likely knows a thing or two about eating right. And it only gets harder as you get older, so if you're looking for a long-term partner, it definitely makes sense to look at how they live now, because it will have an impact.

[sillyanswer]

I suppose I consider plus-size to be synonymous with "obese" as opposed to "overweight".

 

Ahh. Thanks for the clarification. I'm less likely to want to date an obese person than I am someone who is merely overweight.

[Revolver]

Fat woman=short male

[ltjg45]

I personally can't see myself being sexually attracted to a woman that is over 200 pounds.

 

While I don't have much of a diet since I don't like many vegetables, I don't eat so much to the point where I can cross the 200 pound range because I have no desire to go there. I would hate myself if I get to that point so I'm doing all I can to NOT get there.

 

Just for reference, I'm 160. That is the farthest I will go. I aim to get back down to 120-130 and prefer women around that weight range, personally.

 

With that said, I would be hard-pressed to be attracted to a woman whose body size is one in which I don't want myself. If I do get with such a woman, it is my hope that I can help her lose some of that weight and, as others here has said, getting with someone just to try and change her for my own benefit (because that is what it will lose like on the surface) doesn't work out very well.

[GoodOnPaper]

As a plus size woman, you hear a lot of different perspectives as to how society views you as far as desirability goes and usually, they are not so reassuring. However, when I talk to guys, I never get a clear answer from males on how they feel about plus-sized women as far as dating and pursuing a romantic relationship goes.

 

I could elaborate more, but I suppose what I am really interested in hearing about is how the "average" male views women who are considered plus sized. Would you date one? Why or why not and what are your overall views of us as far as pursuing sexual relationships with us goes?

 

In the 20+ years that I've been with my wife, her weight has fluctuated between 180 and 320 pounds. She was about in the middle of that range when we met and she was the first overweight woman I dated. I admit that when we got together, I was conflicted attraction-wise. Most of what conflicted me, however, was really more about how I thought I would be viewed by others for having an overweight gf. In retrospect, it was silly to worry about this -- it gets in the way of bonding -- but there's just something in our teens/20s psyche that really places a priority on being approved by others socially. I think this is partly why you don't get a clear answer from guys about their views on dating overweight women. As you can see from a lot of guys' posts on this topic throughout LS, there is an undercurrent of "fear" that goes beyond simple lack of sexual attraction. In my opinion, there is a large range of attractiveness levels among overweight women. Some have a lot of attractive features -- my wife has a pretty face, great skin, a great hourglass figure, and is very feminine and stylish.

 

Most guys would rather date ugly-faced-skinny-girl than fat-with-a-pretty-face, it comes down to a sexual desirability thing...sexually it's more pleasing to men what your body feels like than what your face looks like in the bedroom.

 

If this is how one defines "most" guys, then I'm definitely an exception. Maybe I'm just too much of a breast man, but women can certainly be too skinny to catch my eye.

[Imported]

Fat woman=short male

 

Fat women can lose weight, short men well, they actually are SOL. For getting taller anyway.

 

I am fit because of diet and working-out. Any girl I go for is the same or at least fit looking/slim because of diet. (Women that workout to the point of losing feminenity are a no-go too....with exceptions). Fat girls, its just not gonna happen. Its not even a consideration. Don't care how pretty they were or would be if they lost the weight. See me when you lose the weight or don't. America and the world might be filled with a lot of fat people, but still plenty of fit attractive women for me to pick from.

 

You don't have to stay "plus size". You can diet and workout. Get in shape. Yes you can.

[hppr]

As a plus size woman, you hear a lot of different perspectives as to how society views you as far as desirability goes and usually, they are not so reassuring. However, when I talk to guys, I never get a clear answer from males on how they feel about plus-sized women as far as dating and pursuing a romantic relationship goes.

 

I could elaborate more, but I suppose what I am really interested in hearing about is how the "average" male views women who are considered plus sized. Would you date one? Why or why not and what are your overall views of us as far as pursuing sexual relationships with us goes?

 

I'm not really into fat chicks but then I'm not every guy out there. Really, every guy is different, so it depends on how much ambition and drive you have in that regard (and what sort of guy you want). I have known more than a few fat chicks who had guys lining up to date them because they dressed well and were very fun to be with.

[somedude81]

Plus sized as in 5'2 220.

 

I suppose I consider plus-size to be synonymous with "obese" as opposed to "overweight".

For me, I've never made the connection between plus-size and obese.

 

If you want to have an easier time meeting and attracting men, you are going to have to lose the weight.

 

Yes it will be hard, very hard, but it can and has been done.

 

Men are very visual and we like a cute figure. That is just how it is. Each man has his own preferences on what his upper limit is, but most will agree on a certain cap.

 

The next issue why wouldn't want to date a bigger woman is that she most likely won't be in shape. I want to be somebody who can keep up with me on a two hour hike or salsa dancing for the whole night.

 

But the primary reason is appearances.

 

I actually briefly dated a bigger girl a very long time ago and I wasn't attracted to her at all, which she figured out on her own, and she wasn't happy about that.

[will1988]

I am an overweight male, obese if you'd like. And as other overweight people have posted on here, I'm a hypocrate. I've only ever dated thing to averge built women. I'm not attracted to heavy set girls, no offense of course. Part of my reason for that, is because I am actually very comfortable in my own skin, and I know I'm attractive right now. I am one of those overweight guys that some more athletic guys scoff at when they see them dating a thinner woman. I've found my weight to be an issue in attracting a lot of women. However, I have also found me weight to not be as big of an issue as a lot of overweight people make it out to be. I let my personality and charm shine through, which causes people to naturally gravitate towards me. Sorry if that sounds arogant, but if it is arogance I can't complain, it's helped get me to where I am. Anyway, enough about me. I just have never found plus sized women attractive. There is no rhym or reason to it. I can't sit here and lie and say something about work ethic or not healthy etc... It just boils down to my likes and dislikes, and I guess me being a little shallow. Again, it is very hypocratical of me to talk to this way. Yet, that is how I feel. I mean then again though, you see a lot of stick thin affrican american males with very overweight white and black girls. I guess people are naturally attracted to things that are different from them. For example, before my fiance the only girls who wanted to date me were tiny and petite. I guess they had this thing for tall big guys. One girl noted that it made her feel safe and made her feel protected, like I was a bear or something. However, all of those girls were super thin, and to be honest, as one of my friends jokingly put it, I more or less used them as a felsh light type object to masterbate with instead of having sex... personally it was not fun. However, my fiance is taller and is of average weight but has an amazing rack and rear.... and a little cushioning. I love it. No complaints. Since her i've been more attracted to curvey and average weight girls over stick thin. However, full on obese, is not my thing. So i do appologize for that. Then again, I'm not overly attracted to other than white (and some asian and some hispanic) women.

[JuneJulySeptember]

For me, I've never made the connection between plus-size and obese.

 

If you want to have an easier time meeting and attracting men, you are going to have to lose the weight.

 

Yes it will be hard, very hard, but it can and has been done.

 

Men are very visual and we like a cute figure. That is just how it is. Each man has his own preferences on what his upper limit is, but most will agree on a certain cap.

 

The next issue why wouldn't want to date a bigger woman is that she most likely won't be in shape. I want to be somebody who can keep up with me on a two hour hike or salsa dancing for the whole night.

 

But the primary reason is appearances.

 

I actually briefly dated a bigger girl a very long time ago and I wasn't attracted to her at all, which she figured out on her own, and she wasn't happy about that.

 

It's amazing how many points it would raise your attractiveness, like put you in a higher league or two.

 

Pretty much the equivalent of a man being able to increase his height 4 to 6 inches. Imagine how amazing that would be if you could go to the gym every day for 2 years and do that.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

The guy I'm dating now said he would NEVER date a fat girl, ever. He said he was talking to a girl and she only had face pics and when he added her on fb he saw she was fat and stopped talking to her. He said if I get fat he will let me know and give me time to lose it before dumping me lol.. Gee thanks