5 months of NC

[crimsoncurrent]

Personal stats: 3 1/2 relationship ended, 6 months since the breakup, and to be more exact, 150 days of complete NC.

 

I haven't been on this site in about three weeks, and in the time, it seems like so much has happened. Recently, I've had my stint with online dating, with nothing meaningful produced from it. As for the process of NC, more and more, I'm accepting there will never be another opportunity for my ex and I to get back together again. With that in mind, instead of reexamining the relationship over in my head, mentally repeating the steps that led to the breakup, I'm beginning to appreciate the time we had together, choosing to conceptualize the relationship as period of time in my life I shared with a very dynamic person, making many fond memories. I think this is just another step in dealing with the loss of a relationship with someone, letting go of how that person has symbolically died in one's life. It feels as if she's dead. Over three years ago, my brother committed suicide, and months later, after accepting his death, when I would look at his old cell phone number, I would think how useless it would be to call it. Likewise, whenever I look at my ex's number, seeing her name on my contact list, the same sensation arises: absolute futility.

 

Other than that, I created a new profile on FB, having someone help me block my ex because I didn't (and still don't) have the strength to do it myself. I also made certain to block other people associated with my ex, making sure there's no temptation on my part to get my ex's attention.

 

Additionally, I'm beginning to realize I must take ownership of a new identity for myself. Previously, I was a sex addict, which was the cause for the breakup with my ex. Since then, I've undergone a metamorphosis of sorts, not only resisting the things I would once do, but not having a physical reaction when encountering them. It's very liberating, however, a bitter-sweet reminder of the damage my addiction caused in my life.

[westjames111]

I am about the same stage as you. Some days are harder than others, and I can relate to were you are completely. Carry on my friend.

[OJ loved Nicole]

It feels as if she's dead. Over three years ago, my brother committed suicide, and months later, after accepting his death, when I would look at his old cell phone number, I would think how useless it would be to call it. Likewise, whenever I look at my ex's number, seeing her name on my contact list, the same sensation arises: absolute futility.

 

I'm sorry for your loss (your brother not your ex), but this is pure gold. People need to realize that grieving the loss of a loved one is essential in recovery, and it's the first step that needs to be taken.